Yoshigae Korra (1st person POV)

Authors note; This chapter, and probably some other parts of this story, will be written in first person. I might as well have some experience, right? You never know, I might need it.

My name is Yoshigae Korra. I am 32 years old. My house is in the northeast section of the city, the name of which I won't say, even if I am talking to myself. I am not married, nor have I ever had a boyfriend, for the simple fact that I don't want one. I work as an employee for the local department store, and I get home every day by 21:00 at the very latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I am in bed by 23:00, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about five minutes of stretches before going to bed, I rarely have problems sleeping until morning. Just like a young boy with no worries or responsibilities, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up.

I'm trying to explain that I am a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, or anything like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me 'happiness'. Or at least, I think.

Truth be told, some days, only a few, maybe... twice every month or so? I have doubts about my life. Is this really the life I want to live? Every day seems to be the same. I wake up at 7:00, then get ready for the day, getting dressed, eating, brushing my teeth, such and such. At 8:00 I leave for work on my bike, arriving at about 8:15. I do my job, clocking out at 17:00 and taking my bike back home to drop off all the things I no longer need. It's not often I need to go somewhere, and I often decline invitations to any parties or the occasional date, so I end up relaxing at home, making myself food and cleaning. Even when I do go somewhere, say the grocery store or the park, since I depise being out late at night, by 21:00, I'm back home, which gives me two hours to unwind and get ready for bedtime at 23:00.

I wake up the next day, go to work, come home, go to sleep, wake up, go to work, blah blah blah, over and over again. It all becomes very stagnant, very still, like an undisturbed lake. Just I admire the beauty of nature and it's lakes, I too, love my routine. But I believe it was Albert Einstien who said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results." Am I insane? I don't want to be insane. Some nights I am kept from my sleep by this question. Some days I am kept from my work and my daily meanderings by this question.

Today is one of those days.

Many times have I heard that humans are social creatures, and yet, for some unknown reason, I am very much not. Even beyond the physical landscape, within the ever prevasive realm of the online world, I don't interact with people beyond a few words here and there. I also prefer to avoid after-work meetings with coworkers and dates with potential suitors because I do not enjoy these events. Actually, I don't enjoy socializing much at all, come to think of it. Even as a young child, I kept to myself most of the time. I often heard remarks from the other children, and sometimes the adults, about how strange it was that I prefered to be alone, although that kind of commentary subsided over the years. But surely it cannot be that odd. After all, I'm not insane. Right? No, I am not insane.

Sometimes I change into more... casual clothes before I go to wherever I need to be after work. Not for any particular reason, its just that, on occasion, I feel this urge. This need to. And so I do. Its easier than resisting, after all. And on the way, while I'm there, and on the way back, I get this very particular feeling. Like there are eyes on me, but in a way that is unfamiliar and strange, and yet intoxicating. I start wanting more. My body begins heating up, nothing like the feeling of my day-to-day interactions. I begin having a slew of new and somewhat intense feelings flood my mind. Urges to just rip off all my clothes and show the world-

Ahem.

Remember what Mother always said to do.

Take a deep breath.

Much better.

I'm sure that if someone else were listening in, they might understand my predicament. Perhaps even better than I do. What I am trying to tell that person, or rather myself, is that there is something missing in my life. But moreso than that, there is something wrong with me. I should not be having such temptations, such feelings. I am not insane. I hope I'm not insane. I don't want to be insane. That will not bring me joy. My routine and the peaceful life it brings does give me joy. And yet, it does not.

Such a predicament. Something must be done.