Yes, but...

“Yes.”

Kara leapt in joy, but soon fell back, when I lifted up a finger and said:

“But...”

Oh god, this is going to be difficult to explain.

"No doubt about it, I like you very much, Kara. You really represent something I did good in my life. I did it completely impulsive, but I was very much taken in with the result. You brought pleasure in my life, in my section, and to other people, when you finally opened up. You were a flower, blossoming, and it was as if you were carrying a special bubble around you that made people happy whenever you came close. Especially me. How could I not like you? It is impossible. Sure I cared for you, but soon I felt more than just affection."

“But...” whispered Kara sullen.

“But I feel you need me for more than just love. And love is much, but I can love a lot of people at the same time, it seems. You need more, I think. I feel like you want to redo your life. Get rid of your past by overwriting it. You want more than my love and affection. You want to enjoy all aspects of a relation, even if you will have to share it with Kylie and Kate. And I am afraid I cannot give you that. I cannot be the man to give you the joys of sex, to not feel hurt when being intimate, because...”

I started stumbling in my words, hesitating, my words were leaving me. I must have shown a pained look on my face. Kylie stepped in.

“Stop Alex, I know why, believe me. It hurts you too much to tell it. Just interrupt when I am wrong.”

“I thought you would have figured it out, Kate, but I admit, you were worried about other things entirely.” Kylie continued.

“Alex thinks he cannot give you what you want, Kara, because he is afraid of it.”

Well, that surprised the other two, but Kylie was spot on. I was afraid of the whole intimacy thing. I nodded, but did not dare to say more. They looked at me incredulous.

Kylie tried to explain, gently, very careful, making sure not to hurt me.

“Alex is not a normal man. Not like any other you have met. Sure, there are men afraid of being in a relationship, let alone in more than one. But that doesn’t scare him, really. He will give his love unconditionally, and he will fall in love very easily with people that are nice to him. But he is afraid of hurting other people. And he is afraid of sex. I don’t know why exactly, perhaps he doesn’t even know it.”

“I don’t.” I mumbled.

“He will never ask for more intimacy, for two reasons mostly: for being afraid to **** your feelings, and for being afraid to just do it.”

“Any normal man, at least all the men I have met – and there were many – would have had sex with me. But not Alex. The first time we had a conversation, I asked him multiple times he could demand anything from me, to let me get rid of my feelings of guilt. Really, multiple times, I thought he would get the hint after the third time, but still he refused to go there. It is only after I took control he relented. After the blowjob, I thought he would have gone further, and I would have let him. He still didn’t, but just thanked me for it. It was as if he only relented because I needed it so much to show my gratitude to him, he had let me give him a blowjob.”

“Multiple times I lay next to him, the following nights, sometimes even hoping he would go further, but he didn’t. He just cuddled me, clumsy even. As if he doesn’t know how to show feelings without being afraid of abusing the feelings of others.”

“When Kate wanted to test if Alex really cared for her by not touching her when he had the chance, I suspected he wouldn’t. I even pushed him towards Kate and he resisted, afraid to hurt her. He cared for her, that I knew, he found her attractive, that I knew too, but he just couldn’t bring himself to it. He couldn’t risk hurting her.”

“When Kate wanted more, when she fell for him, and I planned a show, he was hesitant to give me what I wanted. Not because he couldn’t, he was very capable in doing what he did with his mouth and fingers, but because he didn’t want to hurt Kate, being so close to us. Afraid of exposing her to it.”

“Only once he took control during it, oh my, that was so hot...”

“Yes, it was...” Kate sighed dreamingly.

“And he picked up on it, because when we had our oral threesome, he acted on it. On the other hand he didn’t ask for sex. He offered us a reward to stimulate us to give him a show. I really thought he would finally go for it. When his finger touched my back, I was expecting him to move. And he did. He moved behind me, and any other man would have entered me. But he didn’t. Instead he fingered me, he made me come, pushed me down afterwards and crawled over me. He asked me continue to pleasure Kate, because he knew she wanted it very much, she was in dire need of satisfaction.

“Very much...” Kate murmured dreamingly again.

He only tentatively reached out, and caressed her breasts, careful, but very capable stimulating her to bring her over the top.

“He did...” Kate whispered. With her eyes closed.

“And after we practically **** him to come with us to feel better, for the good of the team, he enjoyed the sex with Kate. Extremely much. Afterwards, he was in a trancelike state for more than a day. Like he never had something like that. That sex could be joyful. Freely given and freely received. Look at him, he is still smiling about the mere memory of it.”

She had indeed caught me in the act of smiling, remembering that evening.

“So, when he says to you Kara, he is afraid he will not be able to give him what you want, overwriting your bad experiences, he doesn’t tell you he doesn’t like you. He is just afraid. But we know what to do about it, don’t we?”

Oh no... They figured it out. I will have **** in the matter.