With humiliation in the street

The black van glided through the deserted dawn streets like a hearse. Inside, the silence was a slab. The five girls were completely naked, bags of bones and exhausted flesh, each sunk in her own misery. With no clothes to cover themselves, they hugged their handbags against their chests or laps, pathetic shields that offered no warmth against the coldness of the leather seats.

May didn't say a word during the ride. The engine purred low, a hypnotic hum that seemed to say it never ends, it never ends, it never ends.

The first stop was for Julia. May parked far from her building, on a side street. He rolled down the window.

"Get out," he ordered, without looking at her.

Julia obeyed mechanically. She slid out of the seat, her pale skin shining in the dark, and walked toward the shadow of her doorway hugging her bag against her belly, without looking back. The van drove off before she reached the door.

Next was Chloe's turn. May stopped at a red light, in front of an empty park.

"Out," he said.

Chloe stumbled out, with the bag slung over her shoulder banging against her naked hip. The light turned green and the van drove away, leaving her alone and exposed on the corner, trying uselessly to cover herself with the small bag under the gray dawn light.

He dropped Sofia off at the mouth of an alley two blocks from her house. The blue mark on her wrist shone obscenely under the streetlamp light, impossible to hide even with her bag.

"Don't be late tomorrow," was May's only farewell before slamming the door shut.

Lara was next. May parked right in front of her building's door, an almost sadistic gesture of favoritism.

"See you tomorrow, Lara," he said, with a tone that pretended to be casual.

She nodded, an obedient model girl, and entered the doorway quickly, clutching the strap of her handbag where the brass coin now rested, safe inside.

Finally, only Magi remained. The van circled her block and stopped in the same back alley as always, far from prying eyes. May turned off the engine. The silence was suddenly absolute.

"Don't forget today," said May, without looking at her, speaking to the windshield. "The control you achieved. That is what matters. The rest is noise."

The praise burned her stomach worse than any insult.

"Get out," he added.

Magi opened the heavy door and stepped down. She felt the cold early morning air on her naked skin, a brutal shock. She clutched her bag against her chest, feeling the cold of the keys and the coin through the thin fabric. The van left immediately, leaving her alone.

She walked the two blocks to her building with the sensation of dragging her feet over lead asphalt. Arriving at the entrance, she fumbled inside her bag with numb fingers to find the keys. The brass coin, loose at the bottom, clashed against the keychain with a metallic and ridiculous tinkle.

Crossing the door of her apartment, the silence hit her. She leaned against the closed door, sliding slowly to the floor. There, in the gloom of her hallway, she dropped the bag and fell apart.

She didn't cry. Instead, a dry, harsh sob tore at her throat. A sound of absolute exhaustion.

She reached into her open bag and took out the brass coin. She looked at it in the dim light filtering through the window.

She threw it against the opposite wall. The coin bounced with a metallic clink and rolled across the floor, stopping under the table.

She dragged herself up and went straight to the bathroom. She got into the shower and turned the tap to the max, letting the almost scalding water hit her, trying to erase the sensation of the leather, the net, the gazes, the metal of the mask against her face.

But the water couldn't wash away what had happened.

She got out of the shower and wrapped herself in a rough towel. Passing the mirror, she avoided looking at her reflection.

She let herself fall onto the bed, naked under the sheets. The apartment's silence was now deafening. Outside, the city was beginning to wake up.

May was right. Control was the only thing that mattered. And she was learning to control even her own disgust.

She closed her eyes, squeezing them shut. But behind her eyelids, she only saw the bright blue "X" on Sofia's wrist, and the coin waiting under the table.