White: Bishop c1-f4

The White Bishop grinned in anticipation as he marched across the board, moving him away from the Black Queen’s threat and toward the ironclad protection of her White counterpart. With him away from the bottom rank, the King’s Rook could now threaten the Black Queen, who had dared to defile his allies—including another Bishop! The blasphemy was unconscionable, and he looked forward to watching his allies take **** for it upon her body.

Her beautiful, perfectly formed, ebony body...

The Bishop tried to set aside such impure thoughts as Black prepared to move again.