Whiskey

You pick up some Jameson whiskey, convene with the lads outside the off licence, and slowly make yer way to 17 Elder Tree Road.

"Here we go," Ed exclaims.

"Christ, it's big enough, isn't it?" you remark.

You all make your way up the drive. You don't hear much until you are at the front door, when you can hear the sounds of a good crowd inside, with techno music at a fair old volume.

Ed knocks.

Nothing.

Ed knocks again. Then the sound of the door being unlocked.

"Ah gentlemen... welcome!" comes to soothing voice of a Frenchman speaking English.

A chorus of "Hey dude!" comes from all of you, as you trudge in.

"..hang on a second guys, before you can come in, there is a entrance requirement."

"Oh ya..."

"Yes. You must all have your penises measured. Away from the crowd, of course."

"What the fuck! Are you serious?" you say half laughing, utterly stunned.

"What the fuck is this, dude?" Simon angrily states.

"Look, it's the rules we've decided upon. I can promise you, they will remain within this walls."

You all look at each other, you;re about to turn around and leave.

"Hang on," Ed starts, "but there are many people back there, did they all do this?"

"Yes. All the men got measured."

"And the women?"

"We didn't ask anything of the women," as he stares back at ye with cold, confident eyes.

"Fuck it, I'm game... looks a good party," Simon states.

"Me too," comes Ed.