What the heart wants

You can’t turn on Laura. It’s as simple as that. Your gut tells you to stick with your woman, honor be damned, so that’s what you’re gonna do. Nick’s face in front of you twists into a smug grin, and yours sets into a grimace of determination. Ol Blue is on the table beside the door, and its cold weight fills your hand. I’ll die before I let a man like you take her from me.

“I’ll go!” Laura’s warm hand covers yours before you can lift your weapon, her other grabs the back of your shirt, holding you back. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ll leave, I swear. Please, just let Chloe deliver justice to you.”

You hear a slight shift in the tenor of the yelling from the crowd. They’re still angry, but now that anger is focused. Laura has offered herself up to them, through you, and they trust you to take care of this outrage. Nick blinks stupidly at you, clearly taken aback by this and unsure how best to turn it to his advantage. Still in shock, you turn to Laura, ready to protest, ready to fight even her to prevent this, but the pleading look in her eyes stops you. When her mouth silently forms the word please, your will breaks, along with your heart.

First, you have to push past the sharp pain in your chest. That’s easy enough, you’re used to pain, especially the pain of loss. More difficult is tamping down the anger, the fury, the rage boiling inside you. Rage against these people who are taking away the one thing you’ve finally found that can soothe your pain. Finally, you manage to find your voice. “Alright, folks, you can settle down now and head on back to bed. I’ve seen enough. The… the thief will be gone by sunup.”

Nick overcomes his own shock and cackles. “Well then, glad we could sort all that out. Now then, Sheriff, why don’t you thank me for going to all this trouble and doing your job for you.”

Before either of you can draw another breath, you grab his collar with one hand and bring your other back in a tight fist, ready to knock out his teeth. Before you can exact your own personal justice, you feel Laura’s hand grab your arm, holding you back again. Your body vibrates with tension, **** to release it with ****.

Nick’s eyes are wide with fear, but there’s still a smile on his lips. “Now now, Sheriff, settle down. Can’t be having our emotions get the better of us, can we?” His smile widens as you begrudgingly release his collar and lower your cocked fist. “Heh heh, much better. Now, how about an apology to go along with the gratitude?”

Before your white-hot anger can raise your fist again, Laura whispers in your ear. “Please, mi amor, forget this worm. Just do what he says so we can get through this. For me, Chloe. Do it for me.”

You suck in a breath and grit your teeth. “I… apologize for my outburst, Nick. That was not… becoming of me as the Sheriff. Thank you… for your fine work in tracking down the… the thief.”

Nick’s smile splits his greasy face, but you can’t hear his response through the blood rushing in your ears. The crowd seems to have deflated after the brush with ****, and as they begin to drift away you close the door in Nick’s face. The moment the latch clicks, the tears flow.

Laura grabs you, squeezes you tight, pulls your face into her chest just in time to muffle your sobs. Her soft warm strength soaks into you, pouring into the growing hole in your heart, but can’t fill it. You feel her tears fall into your hair as she whispers over and over “It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me.”

When you can find your voice again, you croak out the words “Then why? Why did you lie, darlin? Why are you doing this?” Why are you taking away the only thing that matters to me?

“I saw his face, Chloe. I heard their voices. I knew there was no other way, and I couldn’t let you turn on them for me.”

“But I care about you more than any of them. I’d turn on them a hundred times just to save you once. You’re my whole world, Laura.”

She squeezes you even tighter. “And you’re mine, mi amor. But I remember what you used to be when you first came here. When I first met you. Don’t you? You used to be no better than a Bandit yourself. I could see how the wasteland was killing your soul and shriveling your heart. Protecting these people has changed you. Made you into something better. Made you into the woman I love.” She’s stroking your hair now, making you melt into her. “And I love these people, too. I know they don’t trust me because of what I am, but I’m used to that. They’ve been **** to me than anyone else I’ve found, and I’ve found meaning in caring for them just as you’ve found meaning in protecting them. I need you to keep protecting them. For me.”

You pull your face away from her chest and look into her eyes. “But where will you go?”

She looks away, her face set in determination.“That trader who passed through town last week said they were heading east, somewhere called Nipton. The way they talked about it, sounded like the kind of place I might be able to fit in. And if not there, I’ll keep moving. I’ll find somewhere. A good doc is always in need.” She gives you a smile, and you allow her courage to bolster your own.

You get to work with your Pip-Boy while she packs up a travel bag. You fill vial after vial with her special cocktail, needing to know she’ll have enough. You know she’ll run out eventually, but maybe you can give her enough to get by until she finds a new supply. Somehow. After the fifth vial, your Pip-Boy starts flashing red, giving you some kind of warning. You ignore it, and halfway through the next vial it goes dark. Can’t worry about that now.

Once everything is packed and ready, there’s nothing to do but try to rest. You lie together in her bed, unable to sleep, crying and stroking each other and whispering promises of undying love. When the eastern sky finally begins to grow bright, Laura disengages from your clinging arms and gets up. You watch as she gathers her traveling gear, marveling at her quiet courage, and you make a decision. When she gets to the door, you meet her there and put Ol Blue in her hand.

Her eyes go wide as she looks down at the revolver. “Chloe, no, I can’t. This was your mother’s. You need this.”

You close your other hand around hers. “I’ve got other guns, Laura. I’ll be fine. I need you to take my most trusty weapon so I know you’ll be safe. My mother taught me to shoot with this, but she also taught me to be true to my heart, and my heart tells me you need Ol Blue more than me.”

She doesn’t speak, but you see the gratitude in her eyes as you help her buckle the holster around her waist. It’s time. Nothing left to say. Nothing left to do. A final embrace, a final kiss, and she’s gone. You’re amazed you had any tears left to shed.

---

They say time heals all wounds, but you’ve never quite believed that. Hasn’t seemed to heal the Mojave, and it certainly hasn’t healed your heartbreak. Maybe you just need more time. It’s only been a month, after all. But it feels like so much longer.

It’s just past high noon as you and your new Deputy stroll lazily down the main drag of Goodsprings. There’s not much hustle and bustle to be had in a town this small, but there’s still some folks around doing the day’s business. The crunch of your boots in the gritty sand beats a steady rhythm into the disorganized noise of the early afternoon. The 10mm pistol that you liberated from a Great Khan camp a lifetime ago weighs heavy on your belt. It’s not as reliable as Ol Blue was, but it packs a punch, and more importantly it looks intimidating.

“Now then, Deputy, remind me what we’re out here to do.”

The young blond man walking next to you doesn’t miss a beat. “You can call me Devin, ma’am.”

“I’ll call you Deputy when we’re on the job, and any other time I damn well please. Now answer the question.”

“Y-yes, ma’am.” Devin furrows his brow, clearly putting a lot of effort into remembering what you’d just told him an hour ago. Training him is gonna be a full time job, ain’t it? “We’re out here to… see the peace?”

You let out a sigh. “We’re here to be seen, which will help keep the peace. If a Sheriff is doin her job right she don’t ever need to get in a scuffle or draw steel. People can mostly take care of themselves, and sometimes just seein that there’s someone on hand to step in should they fail to do so, keeps em on the straight and narrow. You followin me, Deputy?”

“I believe I am, ma’am.” His pinched face says otherwise. “What about those folks? Are they takin care of themselves?”

You follow his gaze down the street and see a fight brewing. Sally the seamstress is puffing up her chest and cocking a fist back, menacing a smaller woman who’s refusing to back down under the threat. Two thoughts zip through your mind at the same time. Great, Sally, just who I wanted to see and This’ll be a perfect opportunity for some hands-on education.

“Alright there, ladies, settle down now.” Your voice is loud and steady as you and Deputy Devin approach the pair. Getting closer, you recognize the smaller woman as Kathy the schoolmarm. “What seems to be the trouble?”

They both start yelling at the same time, Sally declaring “This bitch is trying to slander my reputation!” while Kathy shrieks “She ruined my best dress!”

Always knew you were a hack, Sally. “Now I’m sure there’s an explanation for all this. First off, where’s the evidence?”

Kathy produces the garment, and even to your untrained eye you can see it’s in pretty poor condition. “And you’re the one who did the work on this, Sally?”

Sally puffs up her chest even more. “It was like that when she brought it in!”

You cock an eyebrow at her. “And so why didn’t you fix it if that were the case?”

The seamstress deflates just a little. “I… well, that wasn’t the order…”

“Seems to me part of the job of a seamstress is to get clothing in a wearable condition. Since this dress quite obviously ain’t that, why don’t you take it back and finish the job. Kathy already paid for your work, so she’ll just be happy with the price you already set and won’t have to worry about payin no extra.”

Sally grumbles and snatches the dress from you as Kathy kicks at the dirt. Neither of them seem all too happy, but as you’d expected they accept your solution. You and your Deputy walk away from the sullen but peaceful women.

“Can I ask a question, ma’am?” Devin sounds thoughtful.

“Any time, Deputy.”

“Why didn’t you go harder on Sally, there? She was pretty clearly trying to cheat Kathy. And besides, I hear you grumble about Sally all the time.”

You wince. “I grumble because I care. You have to care about the folks you’re protecting, and sometimes that means caring enough to put your own feelings aside. If I’d put it all on her she woulda lost respect for me as Sheriff and been resentful of Kathy, and I’d just have to clean up another mess a few weeks down the line, only now it’d be harder. You followin me, Deputy?”

He nods, his face a little less pinched than before. “I believe so, ma’am.”

You hear a strained voice call your name. You turn to see Mei limping toward you, favoring her left leg. You’ve always had a soft spot for the older woman. She was the first person in Goodsprings to make you feel welcome when you wandered in out of the desert.

Rushing to her side, you support her and motion for Devin to do the same. “What’s wrong, Mei? What happened?”

“Ah! Thank you, Chloe. It’s my ankle” She shows you the swollen joint. “I twisted it while I was gardening. Loose rock, wasn’t paying attention, careless.” She grimaces with something more than just pain. “I wish Laura were still here. I still can’t believe the others let that awful Nick chase her away.”

You silence the cry of pain in your heart to focus on your duty. “I’ll have this swelling down in no time, Mei. Don’t you fret.” You tap a few buttons on your Pip-Boy, but instead of producing the medicine you’ve used a hundred times before it just makes a sad noise and goes dark. Maybe I really did push it too far making all those extra shots for Laura.

And I’d do it again.

Apologizing to the disappointed Mei, you have Devin bind up her ankle while you fashion a crutch out of a fence post. It’s not what Laura would’ve done, you’re sure, but it’s the best you can do.

Devin can clearly see the clouds covering your face, but before he can work up the courage to ask about them you’re both distracted by a burst of noise and motion across the dusty street. Someone is running from the entrance of the butcher shop, being chased by Jake waving a bloody knife and yelling “stop thief!”

Your Sheriff sensibility kicks in, chasing the clouds away. You give Devin a brisk order to tackle the fleeing man without hurting him, while you run up to intercept Jake. Your Deputy handles the runner quite well, and part of you can’t help but admire his strength and athleticism as he easily takes the man down without injury. You catch up to Jake just before he can reach the two of them on the ground,

Jake’s eyes are wild beneath the shiny dome of his bald head. “Outta my way, Sheriff! Harvey just stole a side of prime Brahmin meat. I’m gonna take it back, and something outta him besides.”

You move your small frame between the furious butcher and the men on the ground. “Calm down, now, Jake. You ain’t gonna take nothin outta nobody. Harvey, you alright? Let him up, Deputy.”

The handyman pushes himself up from the dirt, his tight frizzy hair showing just a touch of grey. “I’m alright, ma’am, thank you. And I’m sorry, Jake, I just… I don’t know what to do. My kids are so hungry. I haven’t been able to make any money lately. The last couple trading caravans haven’t come through for some reason. I usually make enough fixing up their equipment to cover things for the season. I’m trying to find another way to make do but… we need to eat, Jake.”

Jake shakes his head. “Not my problem! Sheriff, take this thief away and give me that meat back.”

You push down your anger and disgust at the butcher’s callousness. “Hold on now, Jake. Harvey’s always been good for his word. You saying you got something in the works there, Harvey? Gonna get some money soon?”

“Yes, Sheriff, it’s coming together, I swear.”

“Alright Jake, why don’t you just give him a chance to pay you back? Let him take that side of meat so he can feed his little ones and he’ll pay you as soon as he can.”

“But…”

“And once he has his affairs in order he’ll use some of those tinkerin skills to fix up some of your equipment, as interest. Sound fair, Harvey?”

“Very fair, ma’am, thank you.”

“Sound fair, Jake?”

“... yes, Sheriff.”

“Good. Now let’s all get back to business.”

Devin starts to dust himself off, and before you can congratulate him on his performance a sour odor alerts you to an unwelcome presence.

“Job well done, Deputy Devin.” Nick strolls up and grabs Devin’s hand, giving it a few strong pumps. “It is such a relief to finally have a real man on the job. You handled that situation wonderfully.”

Your Deputy looks bashful. “Oh, I dunno about that, sir. I hardly…”

“And humble, too! A boy after my own heart. Reminds me of how I didn’t go around gloating after I finally stopped the thefts that even our own Sheriff couldn’t.”

Now Devin looks uncomfortable. “But didn’t…”

“Of course we can hardly blame our dear Sheriff, can we? She was blinded by love, or was it lust? In either case, it seems she’s much more effective now that such distractions have been… removed.” His eyes twinkle at you.

Some of the townsfolk who’d gathered to watch the action with Jake and Harvey start to laugh. Heat rises in your cheeks and a little tickle forms in your gut. Not trusting yourself to avoid ****, you grab Devin by the arm and drag him away from the scene. You lead him back to your house, small and messy.

“Time to show you what a man’s really good for.” You silence his question with your lips. He raises his hands in shock, his eyes wide as you slip your tongue into his mouth. You reach one hand to the back of his head to dig your fingers into his short blond hair. Your other hand rubs at his crotch, and you giggle to yourself as you hear him moan and feel him harden under your hand. You know how to make a man happy. Yet another skill you had to learn when you were surviving on your own.

When you can tell he’s ready, you break the kiss, looking into his eyes as you unbuckle his belt. “Get those boots and pants off, Deputy. That’s an order.” You can’t help but smirk as he blushes and does what he’s told. Oh, he’s gonna make a fine Deputy. Once his cock is bobbing hard and proud in the air you sit back on the couch. “Now it’s your turn to get me ready.” You slip off your own boots and pants and spread your legs. “Get on your knees like a good boy and taste your Sheriff.”

He gets to work, his eagerness almost making up for his lack of skill. You groan at the sensation of his stubble against your slick pussy. You run one hand through his short hair while the other reaches for the bottle on the end table. You grab his head firmly and focus his attention on your clit as you start to pour the liquor down your throat. One swallow, two swallows, three swallows, four. Before you lose count you put the bottle down and cough.

Devin pulls away from your pussy. “You alright, Sheriff?”

You shut him up with a sloppy kiss, tasting a delicious mixture of whiskey and your own juices as you pull him up to his feet. Pushing him back onto the couch, you take just a moment to admire the sight of his hard cock before straddling his lap. You sink down, allowing his hardness to stretch you, your moan of relief drowned out by his **** groan of pleasure. Never had a pussy like this before, have ya, kid? You ride him for a few minutes, relishing the feeling, enjoying the look of bewildered ecstasy on his face, and then your body starts to settle into a rhythm. Starts to remember how you used to ride on a softer pair of thighs, look at a prettier face, feel a different cock inside you.

No, you can’t. Before those memories can become any more clear, you slip off Devin’s dick and lay back on the couch, spreading your legs. “Come and take it, Deputy. Don’t be shy, now.” He follows the order like the good Deputy he is. Sliding back inside you, he starts to pump, and you moan and wrap your legs around him. Oh sweet mercy yes take me.

It feels so good to be fucked again. Devin is doing well enough to scratch the itch, but you still want more. Pushing away from the aching memories of your last lover, you focus on the newness. His strong arms, his handsome face, the aggressive hardness of his cock stretching you. More. You want more. You wish he would fuck you harder, tell you how he wants to take you and then take you even further. You feel a tug deep inside, a desire for him to take you in a way you can’t handle. What would that even be?

His pumps become more ****, his face more flushed, and you feel his cock twitch in your pussy. Usually you wouldn’t worry about having his seed inside you; your Pip-Boy always kept unwanted disease and pregnancy away. Not trusting the machine in its current state, you instead push Devin off and slide off the couch between his legs. It’s not long after you take him into your mouth until he’s crying out and squirting his hot cum down your throat.

“Oh thank you, Sheriff. Oh that felt good. Ohhh you’re incredible. Thank you. Thank you thank you.”

The poor boy is delirious. Not that I can blame him after a tumble with me. “Shut up, Devin. Have some of this.” You push the bottle of whiskey into his mouth, and he coughs after a swallow. You take a couple yourself before grabbing his hand and dragging him to your bed where you both collapse.

You wake up with the taste of him still in your mouth, and you see him standing over you in the dark, shaking you awake. What in the hell? He’s clearly excited about something, and he gives you a sloppy kiss on the cheek. You brush him off, and he drags you out of bed, still babbling.

Holding your throbbing head with one hand, you groan. “Slow down, Devin. What is it? Why the hell you draggin me outta bed in the middle of the damn night?”

“It’s Nick, ma’am!” That immediately catches your attention. “Something about him wasn’t sitting right with me. I couldn’t sleep so I decided to scratch the itch of my suspicion. I…” He suddenly looks bashful again “I broke into his house, real sneaky and quiet. Sheriff, I found em! All of em!”

You blink and rub at your temples. “Found what, Devin?”

“The stolen goods! Everything that went missing and was never recovered, they’re in Nick’s house, right in his coat closet! He’s the real culprit!”

It takes a moment for his words to sink into your mind, foggy with lack of sleep and doused with whiskey. When you finally process the meaning of what he’s said, rage and despair war inside you. He set her up. I should’ve known it was him. That radroach fucking bastard I will tear him apart with my bare hands for taking my Laura away from me.

After letting the anger flow through you, the Sheriff part of your mind takes over. With grim determination, you get up and get dressed, strapping on your weapon and telling Devin to go fetch Harvey and Kathy and meet you at Nick’s house.

You go around town and wake up a few other folks you know will be sympathetic, people who miss Laura and never liked Nick. Your heart swells at their eagerness, reminding you why Laura loved this town so much, and why you’re still here protecting it. Leading your little posse, you meet up with Devin at Nick’s house and allow your Deputy to knock on Nick’s door. If he wants to see how a man does the job, let him.

Nick has a look of shocked stupor on his face when he opens the door, and you take a moment to relish it. You smile at him as he looks over Devin’s shoulder and locks eyes with you. He quickly looks back at the man in front of him. “Evening, D-deputy. How can I help you?”

“Mind showing us what’s in your coat closet there, Nick?” Devin keeps his voice calm and professional. I must be rubbing off on him, in more ways than one.

Nick looks over at his closet door and sees it’s been left ajar. Sloppy work, Devin, but I don’t think it’ll matter at this point. “I… I... I don’t see why I should, this is my house, I… don’t I have a right to privacy?”

Before you can speak, one of the townsfolk behind you shouts out “Laura didn’t, why should you?!” Your heart soars, and you can’t keep your smile from growing.

Nick starts to sputter, his face growing red, and more of the townsfolk start hollering for him to open the closet. Someone suggests Devin just go in and open it himself, and you have half a mind to let him. You hesitate, though. You need to play this right. This is your perfect opportunity to get justice for Laura.

Justice, or ****.