What's going on with Professor Van Helsing?

For a long while, Professor Van Helsing could not believe it. The house that had been allegedly bought by Count Dracula was watched over by only one servant -- and that servant was currently outside chasing the naked woman who had called herself Jane Harker. That meant she was totally free to search the house for clues as to Count Dracula's whereabouts.

Normally Professor Van Helsing would have waited for her assistant Yosemite Tam to help her but right now Yosemite was off chasing after Dracula's servant and the Harker girl. When she would get back to the house, Professor Van Helsing had no idea but she had no intention of waiting for Yosemite before she began her search.

It was not until Professor Van Helsing hit the second floor that she found anything all that interesting. Then she opened a door to one of the second floor bedrooms and saw three women lying in bed with dirt strewn over their bed sheets. One of the women was a redhead, the other brunette and the third one was a blonde. Professor Van Helsing had no idea whether or not they were vampires but the dirt on the bed sheets certainly made them seem worth investigating.

But first Professor Van Helsing got out her stake and her crucifix just in case. The stake was just in case the women awoke in the daytime and tried to kill her; the crucifix was to verify that the women really were vampires and not poseurs.

Then all Professor Van Helsing had to do was to silently creep up to the three women, marveling all the while at the remarkable lack of security they had. It seemed that Count Dracula really was arrogant enough to think that no one would dare enter his home in his absence. And judging from the lack of defenses the women had set up, the three women shared his arrogance.

Or so Professor Van Helsing thought before a floorboard below her left foot suddenly lowered and set off a device that tied a loop of rope around Professor Van Helsing's feet and then catapulted her into the air. At the same time, a fish hook caught on her dress and yet another fish hook caught on her pantaloons. Normally Professor Van Helsing would not consider this a big deal but then she heard a ripping noise and realized that both her dress and her pantaloons had been torn completely off her. Before she could grab for them, she found herself being suspended upside-down in the air with her two feet still caught in the loop of rope. Try as she might, Professor Van Helsing could not reach her dress or her pantaloons, both of which were lying on the floor beneath her right next to the stake and the crucifix which she had dropped when the trap was triggered.

"Well, this is awkward," said Professor Van Helsing as she hung upside-down.

Already a breeze was blowing and Professor Van Helsing was sharply reminded that she had now had nothing on below the waist save for her shoes and stockings. Moreover, above the waist, she just had on her bra and corset.

Apparently the three girls had been more prepared for unexpected visitors than she had reckoned. But no matter. Yosemite would show up soon and despite a bit of embarrassment at being caught in such an awkward predicament, it would then be only a matter of time before Yosemite had her back on the floor and fully dressed again.

Then an hour went by with no sign of Yosemite. And then another hour.

When a third hour went by without any sign of her assistant, Professor Van Helsing began to pray that her assistant would come soon. Because if she didn't and Professor Van Helsing was still hanging upside-down when the sun went down, then embarrassment at being seen half-naked would be the least of her problems.