Was that a pun?

Maximus peered through the peep hole in the front door, and quickly determined that it definitely wasn't the police. Not unless they were taking undercover work to levels where they had almost no cover.

Probably a prank. In his experience, a few of the older kids who lived in the area occasionally would play mainly harmless pranks on various houses. He'd been treated to a doorbell ring without a person at least 5 times in the past 2 years, and he thought Sandy had been yelling about stupid kids a few times.

This was a new one though. He hadn't thought any of them were bold enough or rich enough to afford an escort like that for just a prank. And how did they know what he was interested in? Still, this might be worth the prank just for the tits alone, those things were fucking MASSIVE. She was a bit on the hefty side, but no straight male would give a damn, what with those hips, ass, and tits, sweeping strongly but gracefully together on either side of a narrower if not small waist. She was pretty too, if with a bit of extra flesh on her face and neck.

Fuck it.

He opened the door and then just stood there, only half pretending to be struck dumb.

It was even better in person. All of these glorious curves were squeezed into a stereotype "schoolgirl" outfit straight out of a porn costume room. White shirt straining over massive tits and clearly shown erect nipples (no bra), squeezing them together and creating massive cleavage as the knotted cloth shirttails below and silly necktie above held it together. Bare midriff, then a tiny plaid skirt covering the top half of that stupendous ass. He could actually see a meaty shaved pussy peeking out under the front edge, barely contained by a tiny patch of soaked white fabric. A garter belt whose straps were clearly visible as they held up thigh high black stockings. And of course, high heels.

He'd never had this particular fantasy, and was struggling to figure out how the hell it was occurring. That outfit had to be custom, no one made those costumes in THIS size. And even then it was too small, so had this escort borrowed it from a smaller friend?

He supposed some escorts might enjoy their job, but it seemed odd that this one was clearly aroused as all hell, there were literally rivulets of juice running down her legs, he could see them darkening the top of the stockings.

Wait, was he asleep or something?

He slowly reached over and pinched his left arm.

Nope, still awake. Although he supposed it might be a really detailed dream. I mean, the escort wasn't even talking to him to get this prank over with, she was just staring at his groin with a look of such rapt attention and focus it disturbed him slightly.

He looked down at said groin himself.

Yep, erect again. Maybe he should have left that thing toggled off. At least his balls weren't churning wildly in prep mode, but maybe if he played his cards right they should be. And if not, he could always unload into the tub again...

With a mental switch flip, he swore he could actually hear his balls gurgle, and he definitely could feel them filling. That was the weirdest sensation, and he doubted anyone else alive could relate.
Damn, now there was a damp spot on his sweatpants.

Maximus looked up from his own groin to see bimbo schoolgirl escort licking her lips and with hands halfway stretched towards his groin.

She still hadn't said a word.

.......

Ok this was just fucking silly, was he being recorded or something? Was someone trying to catch him making a move? Fuck that, he was going to stand here and see what happened. All they'd get was video of some slob in sweatpants getting a completely normal erection, if straight and faced with such a visual.

Granted said slob was in decent shape and hung better than damn near every other human on the planet, but it was all covered...up.

Apparently while he'd been wandering around in his own head, bimbo schoolgirl escort had knelt down and was now nuzzling his balls through his sweats. While moaning and taking deep breaths.

Not knowing what else to do, he reached down and lifted the crazy woman to her feet by putting his hands under her armpits. His tried to avoid her boobs, but the damn things were so massive he couldn't reach around them to pick her up.

She seemed to like the boob touch, but not the removal from his groin.

"Do you want to come in and sit down? I can call someone for you. Is there a number you remember?" He was worried she was an escaped mental patient or someone with underdeveloped personality. He wouldn't put it past some sick fuck to train a hot body with a child's mind as a sex worker, but if that was the case he'd be damned if they'd get her back. Still, information could be collected.

He mentally fumbled for a bit. "Do you want some water?" She said nothing, just staring at his groin again, but he got her a glass anyway. She accepted it.

While she drank, he went through the small battle necessary to extract his cellphone out of his sweats pocket, made significantly harder by the strain his erection was putting on them, and looked up to ask her for a number again.

Apparently she had decided this was a porn scene or something, as she had used the water to soak her shirt into translucency and was slowly rubbing her nipples with the mostly empty glass, moaning wantonly.

"Um. Do you have some ID? I don't even know who you are."

She actually stopped, staring at him.

Then she started to cry, mumbling nigh-incoherently about something involving "He didn't...", and "...fat stupid whore..."

He sat on the entryway bench beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders to try and provide some comfort.

"It's OK, I don't have to see your ID, but I'd still like to know who I'm talking with." He hoped she was capable of understanding him. He had no idea how he'd go about searching this woman for ID without it seeming like a porn scene, and who knew what that might lead to, given her previous responses.

Wait.

Had she just said "...stupid Maximu...?" How the fuck did she know his name? He actually backed away slightly out of fear it was some stupendously elaborate prank, but it was then that he finally noticed the tattoo clearly visible above the waist of her skirt.

Maximus's Slut, it said, placed in standard tramp-stamp position.

Ok now things were just weird. Was that a real tattoo? There weren't that many people with the same name as him, this was getting surreal.

On the other hand, he'd spotted a fanny pack just below it. Apparently he'd missed the waist strap, but to be fair the rest of her outfit was quite distracting. Her ID was probably in that, and she was so out of it he could probably open the thing and check.

Ziiiiiiiiiip.

Ah, yes, a thin card/ID holder.

Yep, yep, we have a photo ID here, looks like her name is Nancy Nesdick

Hold up.