Wants and Confusion

Heather just froze staring at me then “I have no idea I should go to work like nothing ever happened but I don’t think I can fake that just now!” Taking a small sip of her tea. “I-I-I should start looking for a place to stay!” Great the one thing I was hoping she wouldn’t think about doing in her current frame of mind.

“Hey don’t feel that you’re not welcomed here!” Hoping I wasn’t coming across as too obvious that I wanted her to consider here her place.

“Graeme. I don’t want to overstay my welcome here!’ another sip of her tea followed by a bite of her scone “So far in the last forty-eight hours I’ve went from a married business operator to a divorced, homeless woman with very little to look forwards to!” Setting her cup down “Sooner or later I’m going to have to start this new phase of my life, might as well get it going!”

Damn I knew she was absolutely right but in my heart I didn’t want Heather to figure that out for a while. I know that was being bloody selfish of me but then i never wanted her to stay with her husband in the first place. Now that she was here with me deep inside i wanted hr to give me a chance to show her what I could give her if she would only open up her eyes and heart to me.

Getting up going to the sink, placing my cup into it “Yeah I got a lot to do before the morning courier gets here!” Moving to the desk across from the TV, rummaging through a drawer, finding the spare key I had made when i first moved in, walking back over to Heather. “Here so you don’t have to worry about disturbing me or Ami while we’re working.” Turning I make my way down to the second floor photo lab.

“Graeme. I don’t want to overstay my welcome here!’ another sip of myr tea followed by a bite of my scone “So far in the last forty-eight hours I’ve went from a married business operator to a divorced, homeless woman with very little to look forwards to!” Setting my cup down “Sooner or later I’m going to have to start this new phase of my life, might as well get it going!”

I don’t want to say anything but Graeme’s attitude noticeably changed. It was like he couldn’t wait to get away from me fast enough. I watch him as he searches for something in a desk, then he hands me a set of keys “Here so you don’t have to worry about disturbing me or Ami while we’re working.” then he turned and is gone faster than I can get thank you out.

I think i know what he wants to hear me say but inside I’m so confused. Why did Phillip not tell me he wanted a divorce, was I that dead to him inside? Does Graeme deserve someone who is so confused about her own worth, After all what can I offer him besides my body?

Getting up placing my cup besides his in the sink, I stop and stare for a second as our cups handles are touching as if holding hands. Memories of the the afternoon down on the first floor comes flooding back to my mind. Will I ever know that king of happiness again?

Showering, then changing clothes I leave as quietly as possible, giving Ami a small wave as I pass her on the way out! Outside I wonder where i should go first.