Vanilla Lies

The truth was, Madison Ashford did not, in fact, like milkshakes. She knew that it wasn’t good to start a relationship with a lie, but she was ****. She needed Joey to accept her. If that meant drinking a milkshake, well then down the hatch.

They walked together toward the ice cream parlour near the school. It was a journey mostly informed by silence. Not that she didn’t have a lot to say, but she was trying to discipline herself. If Joey wanted quiet, she should give it to him.

It was difficult, though. She was naturally curious and hungry for information. Everything she had learned about Joey Granger had come from third parties. There she was with the real deal, Joey himself. He was a gift wrapped present and it was Christmas morning. It took every ounce of self control to avoid barraging him with inquiries. What was his family like? Did he have a favourite food? Has he ever travelled? Has he ever kissed a girl?

That last one rattled around in her head more than the others. Well, that one and questions like it. Has he ever had a girlfriend? A crush? Had he ever noticed her? Did he like her? Could he?!

She hoped he could. She was willing to do whatever it took to make it so. Hence the milkshake. Who cares that she’d have to run a few more blocks to work off the calories? Who cares that she might get a bit gassy that evening? What mattered is that she was going out with Joey Granger.

"You know," Joey finally said as they approached the front door of the ice cream parlour, pausing with his hand on the handle, "what you said at the school, how you'll change, how you'll become whatever I want you to be?"

"Yes?" Madison's heart was a-flutter, so excited was she that he was not only initiating a conversation, but that he had been listening to her, really hearing what she had been trying to say, "I'll do it, too. Whatever you want."

"That's the thing," he said, staring at the ground, hand still on the handle, "it's not what I want. I mean, it's cool that you want to hang out, but you shouldn't have to lose yourself."

He didn't wait for an answer, but instead pulled the handle and held the door open for her. Madison could barely hear the chime of the bell over the rush of blood in her ears. Joey had opened the door for her. Her. The hottest girl in school. Queen of South Point High. Guys had done this sort of thing a thousand times before, but this was different. Joey wasn’t like them. He was... better. He was special.

She told herself not to smile too wide. Too **** wasn’t cute. She couldn’t let him see just how giddy she was—yet. It would just chase him away. But her pulse was racing, her fingers trembling as she pushed her hands into her hoodie pockets.

There was no line, and so the pair walked right up to the counter. A long glass display case held flavours of hard ice cream for consideration. Before she realized what she was doing, Madison wrinkled her nose at the sickly sweet scent of the cream and sugar in the room, something that she had been told was an appealing but had always found nauseating. It clung to the air, thick and sticky.

Don’t blow this. Don’t mess it up. Don’t make him think you’re dumb.

"I'll take a small vanilla milkshake," Joey said to the worker, a young man in his twenties wearing a paper hat and an apron.

“Me too,” she said, aiming for casual.

“You don’t like vanilla,” he said.

She blinked. Her pulse quickened. “Of course I do.”

Joey raised an eyebrow, “Madison, last week I heard you freaking out in the cafeteria about having brought something vanilla flavoured for your lunch. I believe the words you used were: Vanilla is disgusting. Anyone who enjoys it should have their head examined.”

Her stomach did a somersault. He had noticed her, but not in a good way. He had witnessed her, once again, being horrible. She hoped that he had seen her at her better times as well. As it was, he must have had the worst impression of her.

“Yeah, well, tastes change,” she said, biting her lip, trying to look cute, “and so can I. If you like vanilla milkshakes, then I'll like it too so that we have something else in common.”

Joey glanced at her, his expression somewhere between serious and exasperated. “Yeah. Look, Madison, you really don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?”

“This. Trying so hard. You don’t have to change.”

She latched onto his words, savoring each syllable. Her mind twisted them, reshaped them into something beautiful: Joey cared about her just the way she was! Maybe, just maybe, she was enough for him, she was good enough...

But then...

“I’m too dumb to figure it out myself,” she whispered. “You said it, remember?”

Joey flinched. “That’s not—”

“It’s okay. I get it now.” She leaned closer, her eyes wide, sincere. “I just need you to help me. Show me how to be.”

“Madison—”

Their milkshakes arrived. Joey paid, sweetheart that he was. She took hers, holding it carefully as if it might shatter from her trembling hands.

Joey sighed. “Let’s sit.”

They found a booth near the window. Madison slid in across from him, the sun painting his face in gold. She watched him, memorizing every freckle, every strand of dark hair.

Joey stirred his shake absently. “You’ve got to be your own person. Don’t lose yourself for anyone. Not even me.”

Madison **** herself to smile. He was really making her work for it. “I’m not losing anything. I’m gaining you.”

"Okay then, maybe you could act like you, like you used to," Joey tried, "For me, I mean. Could you just act like you used to? Go back to your old life?"

The words hit Madison like a sudden, sharp chill. Act like she used to? Like before? When she had ignored him? She’d thought she was doing exactly what he wanted—becoming exactly what he needed. Didn’t he understand? Her old self had been blind. Stupid. Careless. He, by taking the time to explain to her how things actually were, had fixed that. Going back to the way things were would be a terrible idea!

Her chest tightened, and her breath caught for a second. Was this a test? Some kind of game to see if she would give up now? Madison knew that she was too dumb to see some of the most obvious things without Joey's help, so maybe this was his way of showing her how to not quit, to fight for what she wanted in life.

For a moment, she sat in silence, staring at Joey. He had a wisdom to his look, hidden in his brown eyes. He must have known what he was asking. He was so smart, if someone like Madison could see the truth, then he would obviously be a few steps ahead. She smiled. No, she wouldn't go back. The fruit of her changes were already too plentiful. In her old life, before she'd had the truth explained to her, she'd been foolish enough to ignore the man who was the best possible thing for her. In fact, she would have been lucky to end up with a guy like Joey!

And now here she was, practically on a date with him. And all she had to do was put on a hoodie! Still, he didn't seem very happy about it, so she'd have to try a new tactic.

She put the straw to her lips and sucked. The grimace she felt like expressing when the thick milkshake finally hit her tongue was completely ignored. Instead she slid her foot beneath the table, her toes grazing Joey’s ankle, and began to rub gently, slowly. The thrill of the contact, even through layers of denim and sock, sent a flush of heat up her spine. And then she began to quietly moan as if her drink was the most pleasurable experience in her life.

From Madison's perspective, Joey's eyes went wide at the feel of her foot, but he did not withdraw. A good sign. She may not be smart enough to know about the big important things in life, but she still knew how to get a boy's attention. Maybe that was all she needed to do. If she kept up her work to become Joey's perfect woman, all she needed to do to close the deal was subtly become a bit more demonstrative. Show him that she was willing, the she was available. Physically, that is. A way to a man's heart is through his penis, after all. Maybe it was time for Joey to start thinking with his.

And maybe it was time for Madison to show him how.