Chapter 55
by 
Zeebop
Roommate meeting
Use Us
You can't make a brain slug talk to you unless they want to.
—How To Talk To Brain Slugs, Appendix: Tips & Tricks
They sat in front of the fridge, Mel and Jordan, Soong and Rachel. That gave them the magnetic alphabet letters to play with. Rachel's smartphone, if they needed to say anything longer. The blank back of Mel's lab results, and his stolen library pen, as backup. The two brain slug hosts sat on their knees, buttocks pressed against their heels, still dressed in their wifebeaters and athletic pants, holding hands. Mel and Rachel sat cross-legged; he had put his pants back on, if only to keep himself from dangling on the floor.
It was an arrangement that arose from questions, gestures, and a common goal. They needed to talk.
Jordan started things out, arranging letters on the fridge.
****
SEX WITH MEL OK
Rachel read. Mel looked at her. Rachel nodded. Jordan rearranged.
****
NO SEX WITH
ANYONE ELSE
Rachel's lips drew tight. She didn't like being told what to do, Mel guessed. Before Rachel could say anything, he asked:
"Why?"
Another rearrangement.
****
NO STDS
"Oh," Rachel said, her face suddenly releasing tension. "Okay. Um. Well, I'm not planning to have sex with anyone else. But if it happens, I'll tell you. And abstain from contact with Mel until I can get tested."
Jordan and Soong gave thumb's up. Then Soong moved to the fridge.
RULES
DONT WASTE CUM
USE CONDOM
Mel and Rachel looked at each other. He rubbed his palms on his knees. This was a real grown-up conversation. Establishing limits. Getting permission.
"Um. I'm okay with that, but you took my condoms," he pointed out.
Soong stood, disappeared into the bedroom she shared with Jordan, and came back with the unopened box of condoms. She set it at Mel's feet, then resumed her place beside Jordan. A sign of trust. Mel nodded gravely.
"Okay," he said.
"Agreed," Rachel said.
Soong went back to the board.
RULES
MEL NO SEX
OUTSIDE FAMILY
The word hit Mel harder than he thought it would. His heart thumped against his breastbone, and his nails, which he needed to trim, dug into his jeans.
"You mean us here?" he said. "And whatever brain slug hosts you bring home, like Maxine?"
Jordan and Soong did a thumb's up. Mel looked at Rachel. Their eyes met. She smirked.
"It's not really any different from what you have been doing," she said. "Just more formal."
Mel smiled back. Her smirks were infectious.
"Okay. I agree," he said.
RULES
MEL NO JERK OFF
USE US
Mel coughed as he read that. Rachel snorted and had to turn her face to the side.
"When you say, 'use us,'" he said, "what do you mean, exactly?"
Jordan picked up the phone one-handed and typed rapidly, mostly using her thumb. Then she handed the smartphone to Mel, who took it gingerly. Rachel leaned in to read the message.
If you need to ejaculate, do so in us. We'll suck you off. Anytime. Anyplace. Even if we're sleeping. Even at work. If you have a need, we will sate it. Please discuss before vaginal or anal sex. If you have sex with ****, use a condom and give your seed to us ASAP.
The "we" struck Mel. Plural. Did that mean Jordan and Soong, or the whole hive mind speaking? Was there a measurable difference? Mel didn't know. His face did something complicated as he finished reading. He wasn't aware that regular sex, much less anal sex, was even on the menu, though a part of him had kind of hoped. It was his first actual conversation with Jordan and Soong, and they were discussing how he could use them to get off. Rachel reached over and pinched his arm hard.
"Ow," he said.
"Just checking," Rachel smirked. "You're not dreaming. Now give them an answer."
Mel closed his eyes for a moment, then, when he looked up, directly into Jordan and Soong's eyes.
"I . . . appreciate that," he said. "And I get that you need my seed to help you. Um. But I don't feel . . . how do I put this? I don't want this to be one-way. I'd like to make you feel good, too. And while I'm happy to be of service when someone needs their vitamins or whatever, I'm not comfortable thinking of you in terms of just . . . hungry mouths to feed. I don't want to dehumanize you. That's how Antonio thought, and I don't want to end up like him. I want to give as well as take. Maybe we could do date nights? Get to know each other better? And I need to learn how to cuddle. Foreplay. I'm new at all this."
Rachel laid a hand on his shoulder.
"We're all new to this, to some extent," she assured him.
Jordan and Soong sat very still. At length, Jordan reached for the phone, and Rachel handed it to her. More one-handed typing ensued. Mel and Rachel read the response.
Your cunnilingus is acceptable. We have needs. Urgent, sometimes. We realize you have needs, too. Emotional and physical. We can help you if you continue to help us. It is agreed. We will learn together. We will date you both.
That made Rachel's eyes widen. She opened her mouth, as if wanting to say something. Jordan was still her sister, after all. But then, she had already tasted Soong. And Soong had helped her suck Mel a little, which was still wet with Jordan's juices. Rachel ran her hand through her hair and gnawed her lip.
"I'm not really comfortable with sexual contact with my own sister," she said. "But I'm not against dating Mel. With you all. Maybe if we keep the girl-girl stuff to Soong, at least for right now?"
Soong and Jordan did a thumb's up. Mel found himself sitting up a little straighter. This was going okay. No onerous demands. Lots of give and take. Compromising. Real grown-up talk.
Then Jordan adjusted the letters on the fridge.
RULES
NO BIRTH CONTROL
Mel and Rachel glanced at each other again.
"Um. I mean, I'm not currently on the pill, and I don't have an IUD or implant, but if we're using condoms, why?" she asked. "Even with condoms and pull-out, accidents happen."
Jordan tap-tapped-typed on the smartphone, then handed it to her sister. Rachel's face bent into a frown as she read. She passed the smartphone, and he saw why:
We are sensitive to your biological cycles; we have been syncing ours with yours. It takes weeks or months to grow comfortable with humans. Artificial and non-human hormones can disrupt our systems, which is why we avoid medicinal hormone therapy to address our needs. Hormonal birth control, IUDs, and surgeries like vasectomies and tubal ligation all affect the hormonal balance of the body, disrupt semen production or emission, or interrupt ovulation and fertilization. We need you in your natural state.
"That presents the risk of pregnancy," Mel said. "I'm, ah. We haven't discussed this, but I'm not currently looking to have kids. Not yet. Maybe not ever. I grew up as an orphan. I've seen what happens when kids aren't wanted, when their parents can't take care of them. I don't want to have kids unless I'm ready for that responsibility. And I don't . . . I don't know when or if I'll be in a position to do that."
Soong reached for the phone. This time, the two hosts held it together in their free hands, both thumbs working in eerie unison, like the mandibles of some great insect. The typing went on for a long time, and Mel and Rachel exchanged frowns and raised eyebrows. Finally, the phone was passed back.
Brain slug reproduction is not like human reproduction. No uterus, no controlled environment. Reproduction after integrating with the host is more difficult, as direct mating is not possible, but the host's intelligence allows alternate reproductive strategies. It also changes how we think. Humans become more attractive. Thought becomes less brain slug, more human. Brain slugs adapt to this, find a point of balance to continue the species.
But guaranteeing a viable, consistent phenotype is difficult. Brain slugs have more genes than humans. **** heterozygotes. Evolved in response to complex and varied environmental pressures and competition. Ancestral brain slugs had to be able to integrate with any species, in any environment, and produce offspring. But the children do not resemble the parents.
You have seen the mutant, Maxine. There have been others, divergent brain slug phenotypes that attempted to colonize squirrels, raccoons, dolphins; some are subsapient, on the level of chimpanzees, or lower. Humans culled them before they got out of control. The Seacouver Hive was **** to assist.
Establishing lineages with desired phenotypes traditionally requires asexual budding: a part of the brain slug is broken off from the parent and becomes a genetically identical clone. Asexual reproduction is a genetic dead-end; it leaves the lineage **** to specific diseases and predators. The long-term goal of Seacouver Hive is to utilize a human uterus to gestate viable phenotypically desirable brain slug spawn in vitro, to develop in conjunction with a human fetus. Brain slug and host are born as one. Hybrid from birth.
We need your help.
Mel digested that. It was a lot to take in. More eloquent than he had thought. He realized then how limited his communication with Jordan and Soong had been, how that had shaped his own ideas about how smart they were. Stupid of him, really, not to have seen it. Blinded by his own inability to express himself, his own failure to try to talk with them properly.
"When you said long-term," he asked, "You don't mean you're looking for anyone to get pregnant immediately, right? Do we have time to discuss things before they happen? I don't want to say no. I appreciate the trust involved. But this is a lot to take in, and I just—I don't want to be just a sperm donor, but I don't feel ready to be a parent."
"And I don't know if I'm ready to be an aunt to the brain slug Kwisatz Haderach," Rachel said. Her smirk had softened into something less sassy and more wistful. "Okay, I'll stay off birth control if Mel is strict about using condoms. We'll just have to be smart about it and try to avoid accidents. And you two keep us informed before you do any fertilization, okay? Don't just ride him bareback with his morning wood one day, and we get a surprise nine months later. We need to discuss things first."
The brain slug hosts gave a dual thumb's up, to Mel's relief.
"Any other rules?" Rachel asked.
On the fridge, Soong shaped the letters
RULES
NO
"Then I have a question," she said, and looked straight at Jordan. "Do you—remember who you were? How much of the Jordie I knew is still in there?"
Jordan and Soong grew very still. They ceased to breathe. Ceased to blink. Mel was aware that their eyes were glowing and dimming in unison, as if they shared a single pulse. He looked towards Jordan's neck and saw the black head of the brain slug poking out, its sensory tentacles moving in little circles. Then Jordan reached for the phone.
A brain slug linked with its host is a new entity. New awareness. We remember brain slug. We remember Jordan. Their memories are ours. You are still our sister. We know you. Trust you. Marked you as part of us. We are not as you remember. We are new. We know this is not the answer you wish. It is the only honest answer. We cannot go back, even if we wished to.
This is how brain slugs are. Individual slugs are not smart. Brain the size of a pea. Our hosts are important. They shape us, even as we shape them. Without them, we are almost mindless things, all instinct. Without us, they are alone. Together, we are more.
Do you remember the butterfly?
A warm tear ran down Rachel's cheek as she read. Mel held back, curious but not wanting to pry. Eventually, Rachel handed the phone to them.
"Our last summer before I went to university," Rachel said, without prompting. "We watched a caterpillar form a chrysalis. It grew and changed for a week and a half, maybe two weeks. Then one day, it was gone, leaving only the dried shell behind. Jordie said she would miss the caterpillar, but was happy for the butterfly it became. Because it was free of its old self. It could go off, be someone new."
Rachel looked like she needed a hug. Mel scooched closer to her and put his arm around her shoulder. She leaned her head against him. Contemplating the person that Rachel had known and grown up with, the person that Mel had never had a chance to know. Who was in some irrevocable sense gone, but in another posthuman sense had survived as something, someone, else.
"Why me?" Mel asked. "I mean, I'm not special."
For a moment, the brain slug hosts ceased holding hands. Soong moved to the fridge. Jordan took the phone back and started to type. The two glanced at each other, touched, grimaced, broke contact, then touched hands again. Their brain slugs on their necks shifted colors rapidly, green to a kind of blackish-blue, out of time with each other. Watching the disconnect, the two out-of-sync, was more disconcerting to Mel than anything else she had seen. Finally, the two calmed down. Held hands as before. The brain slugs pulsed in rhythm. Jordan finished her message and handed the phone to Mel:
This is not easy for us to put into words. It is a very human thought. Our collective consciousness, our hive mind, is more comfortable focused on larger social systems. Yet at each level of self, there is awareness. Preference. In a brief time, you have engaged multiple levels of who we are. As a hive. As individuals. You are not part of the hive, but you are like us. Outsider. New.
Physically, we are very compatible. Emotionally, we are very compatible. You are nice to us. You help us. We help you. We all want/need to be part of something larger than ourselves. Want/need to be that for you. Want/need you to be that for us. We can be that for each other.
We like you. Not just your seed. That is a biological necessity. You are necessary in other ways. You smell nice. You taste nice. Your bioelectrical aura is pleasant. The warmth you radiate when you are aroused or embarrassed. The consideration you show for others. Contentment in small things. The way you interact with Rachel. You are the shoulder she cries on when sad. We do not get sad in the same way, but we want/need that anchor.
Before you became our roommate, this place was just where we lived. You made it a home. You gave us the sense of home. We want/need more of that. We want/need more of you.
"I like you too," Mel said, and his cheeks burned, the heat of his blush so intense it reached all the way to his ears, touched in a way he hadn't expected. His eyes suddenly felt watery. He rubbed his hands, consciously aware of how the three women were seeing his reaction, and feeling utterly transparent.
That was when they dropped the bombshell.
Jordan reached for the phone and tapped out a short message.
We did not wish to move so quickly. We know this is a lot to take in. Circumstances have made us demand more of you sooner than anticipated, and we must ask more of you still. Antonio's attack began Soong's budding process. Resource-intensive. That is why she is so hungry. We will need to find a new host soon.
