Unfortunately not.

The two stayed there on that couch for a while, Kirumi comforting Shuichi while she enjoyed his company. Eventually, though, Shuichi decided that his coworkers might start growing suspicious if he was gone for too much longer.

“Very well then, Master Saihara,” Kirumi stood up off the couch and brushed herself off, her tone of voice betraying only a hint of disappointment. “Will you be coming back tomorrow as well?”

“I don’t know… probably,” Shuichi replied with a blush. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

“I suppose we shall.” Kirumi walked to her office exit and held the door open for Shuichi. “Goodbye for now, Mr. Saihara.”

“Yeah, so long!” Shuichi waved his boss farewell and stepped outside, where he found Azura sitting at her desk with a curious look on her face. “W-what is it?”

“Oh, nothing… it’s just you were in there for a long time,” the secretary replied. “I had no idea you had it in you to keep going for so long.

“W-what!?” Shuichi put his hands up defensively. “No, you don’t understand! We didn’t do that! Er, I mean, we did, but we didn’t do that the whole time.”

“Suuure, you didn’t,” Azura replied. “Oh, and you forgot to zip up your fly!”

“Gah!” Shuichi hurriedly zipped up his pants and went to the elevator, Azura softly giggling to herself the whole time.

When Shuichi sat back down at his cubicle, he sighed in relief when no one came by to ask where he had been all this time. He then quickly took out his computer again and did his best to pretend to work, even though his tasks were long finished, until it was finally time to return home.

“Hey, Shuichi!” Kaito called out’s voice called out as Shuichi packed up all his things. Shuichi glanced behind him and saw his older coworker walking towards him alongside Makoto and Kazuichi. “You headin’ out yet, or do they have you on the ball and chain a little while longer?”

“Yeah, I was just finishing up,” Shuichi replied, picking up his suitcase. “Do you guys have any big plans for tonight?”

“Of course! There’s a big game tonight, and there’s no way I’m going to miss that!” Kazuichi replied.

“That sounds a bit too stressful for me – I usually just use my time when I get home to unwind,” said Makoto. “What about you, Shuichi? Do you have anything planned?”

“No, not really,” Shuichi replied. “Just the same stuff I do every night.”

“Really? How about next Monday night?” asked Kiato.

“No, I’m not really doing anything that night either,” Shuichi replied. He found the question a little odd; of course he wasn’t doing anything Monday night. No one ever does anything special on Monday nights.

“Really? You’re sure?” Kaito asked. “Not with family or anything?”

“Um… no, I’m sure. If I was doing something with my family that day, I think I’d remember that.” Shuichi replied. “Why do you ask?”

“Ha! No reason!” Kaito gave Shuichi a hearty slap on the back and continued his way out of the building. “Catch you later, Shuichi! Have a good night!”

“That was… odd,” Shuichi said to himself as he recovered from the friendly hit. “But then again, it’s usually pretty hard to understand Kaito. I probably shouldn’t read too much into that.”

Shuichi shrugged and left the office, heading down to his car and having an uneventful ride home. His time at his apartment wasn’t too exciting either, though he did take the time to rearrange his apartment a little so he wouldn’t have any repeats of the incident with Maki the night before. He arranged his erotic paintings like puzzle pieces on his bedroom walls, and his orgy statue he wound up stuffing onto his bedroom work desk. Part of him knew that it would just be easier in the long run to throw the items way, but he simply couldn’t bring himself to do it after spending so much money on them all.

Then, the time finally came for Shuichi to head to Kokai Park, so he changed into his workout clothes and headed out in his convertible. It was a pleasant summer night, and the local traffic was so sparse that Shuichi thought he’d arrive early for a moment. But then, as he was driving by the red light district, he saw something that made him pause.

It was a woman, and a sex worker too if the way she was dressed was anything to go by. She had tan skin, a short blue skirt, long brown hair, a tight blue tube top, tall black high heels, and red lipstick so bright that it shined underneath city lights. She was standing on the side of the road, waving, and while at first Shuichi just thought she was hitchhiking or something it quickly became clear she was trying to get his attention. She was even shouting his name, though he was almost certain he had never even seen her before. Curious, Shuchi pulled his car over and parked next to the woman.

“Uh, hello there, miss,” Shuichi greeted, doing his best to keep his eyes on the gorgeous woman’s face. “Is there something you need?”

“Yeah, I was hoping you could answer a question for me,” she replied. “Your name is Shuichi Saihara, right?”

“Yeah… it is,” Shuichi replied. “I’m sorry, but have we met somewhere before?”

“No, but I would love the opportunity to get to know you better~” The woman leaned forward, deliberately obscuring Shuichi’s vision with her large rack. “Word on the street is that you’re a very generous customer. Well, I can be very generous too, and if you pay my price I promise you won’t go to bed bored tonight~”

“Uh…” Shuichi blushed, too stunned for words.

“Hey! You don’t want her!” another girl with blonde hair and a skimpy yellow dress suddenly cut in, leaning against Shuichi’s car door. “She’s way too loose! But me… I’m tighter than a virgin! Both down there… and up here~” She seductively rubbed a finger over one of her lips.

“You’re not seriously considering these hussies, are you?” a girl with dyed red hair and a skimpy pink top said as she leaned against the hood of Shuichi’s car. “They’ll tire out after only a few minutes, but I promise that I can keep you up all night long~”

“I… uh… um…” Shuichi kept stammering with his eyes darting between the two women, still unsure of what to say.

“Aww, the poor thing looks like he’s having trouble deciding,” the first girl cooed, leaning even closer to Shuichi. “Well, if that’s the case, I suppose I wouldn’t mind if you decided to hire all three of us instead~”

“I… I…” Shuichi swallowed. “I’m sorry. You’re all very lovely women, but… I have things I have to do tonight.”

“Aww…” All three women groaned in disappointment together.

“Fine then, we’ll go… but promise to keep an eye out for us, sweetie, okay?” asked the redhaired one.

“I, uh, promise,” Shuichi replied. The escorts, satisfied, turned to leave, and Shuichi was just about to leave as well when he noticed that there was another woman on the sidewalk heading over to him.

She had a thin, athletic body that looked like it was made for running marathons, dark brown hair that was tied back into long and eloquently braided pigtails, a large green pinwheel bow that sat on the back of her head, a pink headband, fair skin dotted only by a single mole on her chin, pink lipstick, and green eyes. She also had a tight pink choker with a golden bell attached, plain Japanese sandals, tight black spats that clung to her firm but noticeable rear like a second skin, and a tight black bra that seemed halfway between lingerie and a sports bra. Shuichi could tell by the way she was dressed that she was a sex worker like the other women were, but she had one very noticeable difference to her; unlike the other girls, she didn’t look happy to see Shuichi at all.

“You there! Yes, you, in the car!” The woman pointed both her index fingers at Shuichi at once. “You’re Shuichi Saihara, aren’t you!? Don’t deny it! I heard those girls call you that a moment ago!”

“If you knew already, then why did you ask?” Shuichi thought to himself, but he was far too intimidated to say that out loud. Instead, he merely gasped and replied “Y-yeah, I am. You don’t want me to hire you too, do you? I-I already told those girls I’m busy.”

“You? Hire me? Ha! As if a degenerate male like you could even handle me!” The woman laughed a moment before pointing her accusing fingers at him again. “No! My name is Artemis, the Ultimate Neo-Aikido Master and protector of all women in the red light district, and I’m here to deliver you a warning! Don’t you dare hurt any of the women here, or else you will pay the price!”

“Gah!?” Shuichi gasped again in shock. “W-what are you talking about? Hurt them? Why would I do that?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, you degenerate! I’ve heard all about you!” Artemis struck a defensive martial-arts pose. “Sex workers all over town are talking about how generous you are, how nice you are, and how good you are in bed. Rumors about how amazing you are running around like rats, and some people are even calling you the Ultimate John!”

“Th-they are!?” Shuichi blushed even brighter than before. “Wait, that’s a bad thing?”

“Yes! Of course it is! Men like that don’t actually exist!” Artemis stepped forward and jabbed Shuichi in the chest with one of her fingers. “Some men will act nice, and some might even go as far as to try and be ‘friends’ with their escorts, but it’s all just an act! Deep down, men are all just pigs waiting to take advantage of us women! And because you’re so good at hiding how awful you are, that makes you the most dangerous out of any man!”

“B-but I’d never do anything to hurt the women I’m with! Honestly!” Shuichi replied defensively.

“You say that now, but I’ve seen it happen before. Just wait; all the sex will go to your head eventually, and your dirty male instincts will take over. You’ll hurt someone here by the end of the year, I guarantee it,” Artemis replied. “Unfortunately, even degenerates like you don’t deserve punishment before you do anything wrong, so I’m just going to leave you with some advice. First, watch your step when you’re here because I will be watching you. Second, don’t think that you can treat women badly when you’re outside the red light district either, because that’s still unforgivable! And finally, don’t bother trying to hire me because there’s no way I’d ever be interested in sleeping with a lowly creature like you!”

“Okay… I-I think I’ve got that,” Shuichi replied sheepishly.

“… that’s it?” Artemis asked. “You’re not going to shout at me or say something stupid along the lines of ‘you couldn’t handle my dick anyways’?”

“No, of course not,” Shuichi replied. “Everything you just said was completely reasonable.”

“Don’t you dare lie to me!” Artemis struck another attack pose. “Even if you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you’re a good person, you still want to have sex with me! Sex is the only thing men think about after all!”

“No, I don’t!” Shuichi put his hands up defensively again. “I honestly don’t want to have sex with you!”

“Why not? Am I not good enough for you? Too old? Too tall? Too smart?” Artemis demand. “I should have known a disgusting playboy like you would be spoiled for choice.”

“What? No, that’s not it at all! You’re actually a stunningly beautiful woman,” Shuichi replied. “I’d be honored if I had the chance to be with you. It’s just, well… you clearly don’t want to have sex with me, so there’s no real point in trying to pursue you.”

“Ah!?” Artemis took a step back, surprised by the earnest compliment. “Oh, I get it! You’re trying to get inside my head by keeping this ‘nice’ routine going, aren’t you? You think you can convince me that you are as good a person as the other girls say, as part of a diabolical plan to make me sleep with you!”

“No, I’m just respecting your decision, that’s all,” Shuichi insisted, but Artemis didn’t seem to be listening to him.

“Well, your schemes won’t work on me! I’m going to call your bluff!” the Neo-Aikido master declared. “So, just this once, I’ll let you hire me as a test! You can consider it an honor if you want, but I know I’ll expose exactly how cruel you can be in the bedroom by the time we’re done!”

“Didn’t you just say that sleeping with you was my goal?” Shuichi thought to himself, but again he stayed his tongue. “That’s a very tempting offer, Artemis, but I wasn’t lying earlier. I really do have somewhere I need to be.”

“Rejected!?” Artemis struck a bizarre pose in shock at Shuichi’s words. “Augh, I should have known! You only made it seem like you wanted to have sex with me just so you could disappoint me! The cruelty of pig-men knows no bounds!”

“But I- augh…” Shuichi sighed. “Look, we clearly got off on the wrong foot here. I promise I’m not the fiend that you seem to think I am. I’d never hurt anyone, and I wasn’t lying to you either; I really do think you’re beautiful, but I don’t have time tonight. You can ‘test’ me later if you want to, but to be honest… if we’re going to have sex together, I’d rather you do it because you wanted to.”

Artemis took another step back in surprise as she felt her face flush, her body grow warm, and a strange tingling sensation appear in her stomach. It wasn’t a new sensation at all, but it still took her by surprise because she had never felt this way around a man before.

“Alright then. Maybe… you’re not so bad after all.” Artemis smiled and extended a hand towards Shuichi. “If you ever want to hire me, then you can find me working most evenings by the sex shops. But just because I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt doesn’t mean I still won’t kick your ass if you hurt any of my sisters, understand, degenerate male?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Shuichi shook the sex worker’s hand shifted his car back into drive. “So long, Artemis. Have a good night!”

With that, Shuichi rejoined traffic and made it the rest of the way to Kokai Park, arriving at his meeting place with Maki right on time.

“Hey there, Shuichi,” Maki greeted as he approached. “How are you feeling today?”

“I’m feeling fine, thanks for asking,” Shuichi replied with a smile. “No signs of the overdose at all.”

“That’s good to hear.” Maki let out a subtle sigh of relief. “How was your day otherwise? Did anything exciting happen before you got here?”

“No, not really,” Shuichi answered. “In fact, today was probably one of the most normal days I’ve had in a long time, all things considered… even if I did have sex with my coworker at the office again.”

“Of course something like that would become normal to you,” Maki said flatly. “I’d expect nothing less from such a sex-crazed freak.”

“W-wait, you don’t really think I’m-“ Shuichi began to say in a sweat.

“Relax, it was just a joke,” Maki interrupted, walking over to Shuichi to give him a kiss. “Now, be sure to tell me if you feel sick at all during our exercises today, okay? I don’t want you to almost die again.”

“Don’t worry, I promise to be more careful next time,” Shuichi assured her as they both began their stretches. “Oh, by the way, I called the man I mentioned yesterday and-“

“There you are,” a familiar voice suddenly spoke up behind the duo.