Try to nab some panties

You take big breaths, this has to be the dumbest idea you ever had since you stuck your hand on a beehive when you were a kid. You began to push across the crowd, hoping that a naked woman would somehow blend in.

It´s …working? For better or worse, no one notices you. It´s not as amazing as you expected, everyone is pushing and stepping on your body. You have to bit your lip to stop from yelling or slapping that stupid blonde that “accidently” copped a feel of your breasts.

However, no one calls attention to you, and you keep advancing. It´s nerve-racking, you half expect someone to shout “look a naked woman!” and have the sea of people form a circle around you to point and laugh.

Nonetheless, you reach the front of the crowd. A pair of panties are practically staring at you on the table. This is your chance! You stretch your hand and try to yank it away, but the singer´s foot soon steps on it and stops your attempt.

You resign yourself to waiting for her to move, but she never does. You stand there with your hand on the panties, praying no one spots you. Sadly, the singer does. She takes off her sunglasses and stares you up and down. “Sorry fraulein, we aren´t taking any more groupies.”

“I-I´m not a groupie…” you reply with a whine. The adoring fans around you began to notice your presence. Judging by their whispers, they aren´t happy that you are trying to steal the band from them with your “shameless display”. Well, they use less polite words, but you rather not recall them. “I-I… I´ll just take these panties and be on my way.”

“Are they yours?”

“Not really? But I need them!”

“Nothing is free in life, you´ll have to work for them, fraulein.” The rocking couple grabs your arms and pulls you onto the stage before you can even blink. You are standing there on the table, the crowd looking expectantly beneath your feet.

“H-h-hi everyone.” All those eyes, your head starts to spin. This is why you left the drama club a few years back, you could never handle the crowds very well.

“Now fraulein, you´ll be our backup singer for this song.”

“O-ok?” You reply, too dazed to refuse or think of a better plan. “Wait …I don´t know your songs!”

The couple chuckles. “We are improvising, fraulein. You know them as much as we do, now let´s rock!”

With a stunning guitar solo, the music starts. The woman pours her soul out on the mic, and you join her with a weak chorus. Compared to the star performance, yours feels small and insignificant, which would normally be bad, but since you don´t want to attract attention, you are kind of happy with the result.

It doesn´t make your stomach turn any less, however. The couple gets the lion's share of the ovation, while you occasionally open your mouth to wail like a whale. Three agonizingly embarrassing minutes later, the song ends, and you are left awkwardly covering yourself in front of a public that is not cheering for you.

“Fraulein, that was bad, but you earned this, so go on.” The woman gently kicks the panties into your hands and you immediately put them on before leaving the “stage”.

As you move away from the crowd you see that more clothes are lying around, maybe you could try your luck getting them? Although, the thought of going onstage again freezes you in place. You´ll only consider doing it if it´s absolutely necessary.