Try to make it work

You didn't want to hurt Susan, so you decided that you would try to make things work. Your sex life had been shit for years anyway, but you had loved her then. Maybe the state of your sex life had been because some inner part of you knew the truth? You wanted Bob's cock, but you didn't love him. You didn't want to marry a man. What exactly did that make you?

You had no idea, but you decided to try your best to make things work.

So you repressed your urge to dress in her clothes, and your desire for cock as best you could. You watched a lot more gay or shemale porn, and you tried on her panties in the bathroom every night when you jerked off. It was not perfect, but at least it was something.

On the flip side, now that you were no longer trying to get in Susan's panties, suddenly she seemed more interested in sex than she had been since your honeymoon. You found yourself having to eat a lot of pussy to cover up your lack of an erection.