Try to Trick and Overpower the Guard

It might be the oldest trick in the book, but there's a reason people love the classics. You kick hard at the frame of the bed. It makes an awful, metallic screech as it shifts slightly. You grin maliciously. That's exactly what it would sound like if you had fallen, trying to climb the bed as some part of an escape plan. You lie down, take a deep breath, and scream.

"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP! IT HURTS SO GOD DAMN MUCH!"

You continue screaming, putting as much pain in your voice as you can, and mixing in a healthy amount of profanity.

Finally, the door swings open, revealing the most apathetic looking Falleen you've ever seen.

"Listen, no one is going in there. Even if you break your leg or something, we're just going to let you sit there. If you're bleeding, we'll let you bleed until you pass out, so you u may as well stop the screaming. Its just pissing off the rest of the crew."

With that, the door slides shut.

Those bastards. Not an ounce of empathy. Time to try something else. He did mention it was annoying the crew... maybe not everyone has the same amount of discipline. You begin your next salvo.

"WHAT'S GREEN, SCALEY, AND LIKES TO SUCK MY DICK? YOUR MOTHERS!"

It's not clever, or original, but it's not supposed to be. It's supposed to be ANNOYING.

For the next half hour you scream the foulest, most vile things that pop in to your head. Every profane word in every language you've ever picked up part of. You insult their mothers, grandmothers, sisters. You muse loudly that Falleen men are so lizardlike, they probably lack external genitalia. When you run out of things to say, you sing the longest, most annoying songs you can think of. You're about 40 verses in when the door swings open.

"YOU TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROU-"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!"

You grin dangerously, raising your hands into a fighting stance. Go time.