Things Are Getting Weird

You nearly jump out of your skin.

A few seconds of silence, and then there's another knock.

"Go away!" you yell.

Another knock, a few seconds of silence, and then you hear a female voice from outside the door. "Hi, sorry to bug you --"

You interrupt with another "Go away!" and the voice stops. Someone's just messing with you now, you figure.

There's yet another knock. You groan, get out of your computer chair, put your robe back on and walk to the front door but don't open it. You don't even want to look through the peephole -- part of you is afraid it'll be the same girl from before, part of you is afraid it'll be someone else, and a tiny voice is suggesting that it might actually be the "upgraded" version you just saw on your computer screen. Whoever it is, they knock again. You flick the porch light on and off a couple of times.

You hear, "Hi, sorry to bug --"

And you interrupt once again, with a loud "If you are not off my fucking front stoop and off my fucking property within 10 seconds, I'm calling the cops, you got it?"

You hear nothing. You count slowly to 10 in a whisper. You flick the porch light on and off. You count slowly to 5. You take a deep breath, slowly reach out for the doorknob, and then throw the door wide open as fast as you can to reveal --

Nothing. You exhale, and chuckle a little bit. You close the door and walk back to the bedroom and your computer.

The picture of the Asian hottie is gone. In fact, the entire Windows desktop is gone. All you've got is white letters on a black background.

"Warning: 'Door' Subroutine Aborted," reads the text. "'Night of Your Life' Process Shut Down."

Another line of text appears: "General failure reintegrating reality. Universe may have become corrupt. Retry, Abort, Ignore, Fail?" The cursor is blinking, apparently waiting for an input from you.