They don't... but Inara does

Hours later, long after the sun had set, Inara returned to the apartment of the two supervillains. While being unable to be seen or heard by anyone other than her current Mistress did hamper her ability to enjoy herself somewhat, she still had a great time exploring this new 'modern' world and all of its wonders. Cars, computers, skyscrapers... and the sin. Even with all this progress humanity was still as sinful as ever, and the ways in which they were able to indulge in it was heartwarming to an ifrit of lust like herself. This Gotham City practically radiated sin more than any other city she had been freed in before, and she hadn't even gotten started yet! She couldn't wait to see how it would end up looking when she was done granting her Mistress' wishes.

Speaking of her Mistress, the scene she came upon when she entered the living room was not exactly what Inara expected to see. The place was still a mess, but rather than cleaning it up Harley had pulled out a whiteboard on which she had written several wish ideas and notes... most of which were crossed out. Ivy meanwhile was sitting on one of the only remaining chairs not smashed to pieces, a mug of tea in her hands and a frustrated look on her face.

"Okay, so wishin' away Batman, the Commissioner, and Hitler are all no-gos," Harley said, "Wishin' to rule Gotham wouldn't be sexy enough unless we make 'em all our sex slaves or some messed up shit like that. And wishin' for riches could end up making us super-popular camgirls with an army of paypig simps. Not that that's a bad thing if a girl chooses that lifestyle, more power to ya, but neither of us want that, so for us that would be a bad thing."

"Yeah, I don't know why you need to specify that," Ivy said, "It's just the two of us in here, and we both know that's not what we want to happen..."

"Well I think it could be pretty fun," Inara said, floating down to sit in the air next to Ivy.

The sudden intrusion of the ifrit caused Ivy to jump in her seat, spilling some tea on her pants, "Jesus Christ! When did you get back?"

"Just now," Inara said, "Look, you're thinking about this too much. At this rate, you're going to run out of time. Just wish for the sexiest thing that pops into your head and I'll make sure you enjoy it."

"No, I'm not going to let you twist me into some sexed up bimbo," Ivy snapped.

"What are ya talkin' about, Ives?" Harley asked, turning back towards her friend, "Oh wait, is the genie lady-"

"Ifrit."

"Whatever, is she back?"

"Yeah," Ivy said with a groan, "And she wants me to make a wish off the top of my head."

"Fuck that, we've got six more hours 'til sunrise!" Harley said, "We can figure somethin' out before then!"

"Since when have you given a shit about thinking things through?" Ivy asked, "Aren't you the queen of doing whatever the fuck you want without thinking about it first?"

"Yeah, and if I was the one with the genie- don't you dare correct me- I'd probably have blown through like four of 'em by now! But you're not like that, so since I can't make wishes I might as well try to help you make the best wishes you can make. Otherwise you'll never make a decision at all and get stuck with whatever Inara decides to throw at ya."

Ivy sighed, "Well I appreciate it Harls, but we aren't any closer to a good wish than when we started."

While the couple were talking, Inara has walked up to the whiteboard to get a closer look at what they had been writing. Looking over some of the crossed out ideas, something stuck out at her. She turned to Ivy and asked, "Hey, why didn't you girls put Joker on here?"

Ivy frowned at the mention of the psychotic clown, "How do you know about the Joker?"

"When I was first summoned from the lamp, I got a crash course in this time period courtesy of your memories," Inara explained, "That's why I'm able to speak English, how I know what a cell phone is, and how I know that both of you hate him yet aren't even considering getting rid of him like you are with this Batman fellow."

Ivy shifted in her seat uncomfortably, "Well... it's true that neither of us like the Joker. But we don't want to risk him becoming, like, a super **** or anything like that. And we weren't able to think of a way to just delete him that would also be sexy enough for you."

"You weren't able to," Harley said, "I said we could make him blow up into this gas that makes everyone that breathed it in super horny."

"Didn't you say once that he told you that if he died he'd release a cloud of gas with his last breath that would turn his killer into another Joker?" Ivy asked.

"Yeah, but there's no way that's actually real," Harley said with a pout, "He probably only says that so stupid people don't try to kill him."

"Well if it is true, then Inara might manipulate that to make him instead release a cloud that turns people into new sex-obsessed Jokers, and suddenly we have like six clown rapists running around Gotham. I'm not risking that."

Inara rolled her eyes at this, "Oh come on, do you have that little faith in me? I mean sure that's technically sinful, but it's not exactly fun now is it?"

"Hey, I don't know what kind of messed up shit you think is fun," Ivy said, "But as a self-professed being of pure lust I at least know where your priorities are."

"Okay, sure, I ultimately want to dramatically increase the amount of lust in the world," Inara admitted, "But I want to do so in a fun way. Gangs of Joker rapists are just terrifying."

"Fine, so how would you get rid of the Joker then?" Ivy asked, setting down her mug on a nearby vine.

"Whoa, Ives, are you actually gonna wish for that?" Harley asked.

"Not yet," Ivy said, crossing her arms and glaring at Inara, "I want to know what she'd do if I did."

"Easy," Inara said, "I'd just make it so he never became the Joker in the first place."

Ivy blinked, "You can do that?"

"Do what?" Harley asked, but she was ignored in favor of Inara's answer.

"Yep! Rewriting history is as easy as one-two-three for me... as long as I get the right wish, of course. And trust me, there'd be plenty more lust in this city if people weren't scared of being randomly killed by a psycho clown."

Ivy thought about the possibility for a moment. A Gotham without the Joker... what would that even be like? It was hard to think of everything that would be different. Batman certainly would be a different person if he didn't have the Joker obsessing over him all the time. As would...

Ivy glanced over at Harley, who was looking around in irritation for the invisible (to her) ifrit.

"No, I'm not doing it." Ivy said, "Too much could change that we wouldn't know about."

"Such as Harley Quinn here?" Inara said, playfully wrapping her arms around the ignorant clown's waist. When Ivy expressed shock at the statement, Inara giggled, "Oh please, I can see right through you. Like I said, I know everything you did at the moment you rubbed my lamp. That includes Harley's origin story, and the part where the Joker gave her a chemical bath and made her his side piece for a while. That's the period of time where the two of you really grew close. And you're worried that if there's no Joker... there will be no Harley. At least not one that is with you."

"Y-Yeah," Ivy mumbled, looking down at her lap sheepishly.

"Yeah what?" Harley asked, looking at Ivy, "Hey, what's got ya down? God, I wish I could hear what this bitch was tellin' ya..."

Inara chuckled, blowing Harley a kiss as she walked past the girl and up to Ivy, "How cute. You two really care for each other, huh? I can see why you wouldn't want to give that up, even to get rid of a monster like the Joker."

The ifrit walked behind Ivy's plant chair and draped her arms over the redhead's shoulders, an action that made Ivy (who very much was aware of it) tense up.

"But that isn't a problem for me. I can make sure that she's still here with you, even without the Joker."

Ivy lifted her head to look up at her, "Y-You can?"

"Of course I can," Inara purred, leaning in to talk directly into Ivy's ear, "It's all about how you word your wish. All you'd have to do is wish that the Joker never existed, but that you and Harley still got together in spite of his absence. That's something that'll generate plenty of lust for me to work with. The Joker won't be the Joker, so he'll probably have someone to enjoy some sexy times with, and Harley will be even more lovey-dovey with you without all that baggage and trauma the Joker saddled her with."

"I... I don't know," Ivy said, "That's still a lot of things that could change and go wrong."

Harley furrowed her brow at this response, "What's she sayin' to you?"

"You're right, that's pretty big for a first wish," Inara said, "Getting rid of someone like the Joker is definitely going to cause some major ripples in this city. So how about we try something smaller to start? Just to get your feet wet, and show you that I'm willing to cooperate if you're willing to play along. How about you wish that the Joker was never interested in Harleen Quinzel?"

"Hey, Pamela, talk to me," Harley said, her voice taking on an uncharacteristic seriousness, "What's goin' on?"

"Think about it," Inara said, her voice dropping to a whisper, "You can wipe away all of the **** and torment that sick bastard put her through. All of those bruises and broken bones, all of the gaslighting and nightmares and psychological manipulation... just say the word, and I can make it all go away in an instant. She won't even remember any of it. Not to mention if you like what I did, you can still wish the Joker away later. You'll even have a whole additional day to figure out how you want to do it!"

Poison Ivy turned her gaze towards Harley... her best friend. Her true love. Even though she had finally triumphed and broken free of the Joker, the chalk-white skin of her face was just one of the more visible scars the demented clown had left of the poor woman, only a small fraction of which were physical. Harley had struggled and suffered so much... if she could take all that away, and still keep her as a friend... wouldn't that be the right thing to do? It had to be...

"So how about it?" Inara whispered, "Will you make the wish?"

"...Pammy?"

Poison Ivy took a deep breath, looked into Harley's eyes, and said, "I wish that the Joker was never interested in turning Harleen Quinzel into Harley Quinn... but that Harley and I would still have a relationship at least as strong as what we already have."

Harley's eyes grew wide in shock, "What the fu-"

"Granted," Inara said with a grin, and snapped her fingers.

Poison Ivy blinked, then gasped. Because while most of the apartment looked the same, the Harley that was now standing in front of her was a very different woman than the one that was there only moments earlier.