There was some mention of an aunt?

"I can't believe you're making me do this," D groused. She adjusted her top for the fourth time in a minute. "They get caught on the fucking seatbelt! I swear, these tits can be kind of a pain in the ass."

"You can't believe anything," Brad rebutted, openly ogling D, who was driving flawlessly while wrestling with seatbelt and her semi-formal blue dress. "You're mud."

D snorted. "No shit. So why do you have to use the bromance script? Can't you get a PhD or something to impress her?"

"You're a charming conversationalist and great at thinking on your feet." Brad said.

"No I'm not!"

He grinned. "You are now."

"You could do that to any of your scripts!" she pointed out.

"I gotta be honest," Brad grinned. He flicked one of her nipples. D yelped and scowled, rubbing her hardening nipple. "You're a lot more fun."

They spent the rest of the drive practicing her backstory. He picked a minor character from a forgotten single-season late-nineties sitcom because he remembered it and knew his aunt wouldn't.

"Why do you remember it so well?" D asked.

"Dude," Brad said dreamily. "That episode where she wore a bikini..."

D chuckled. "Good point. God, what was that actress's name? Anyway, aren't you worried you'll be committed to 'Candace Larsen'? What happens when you introduce me to another millennial who had a TV in his bedroom growing up?"

"There's that quick wit," Brad chuckled. "I've introduced her to girlfriends before. She's barely going to pay attention to you. Change up your hair and I can reintroduce you half a dozen times."

He reached out impulsively and squeezed her tit. She sighed wearily.

"Dude, I just got comfortable. And isn't this the same aunt who busts your balls about settling down? Why wouldn't she care about me?"

Brad shrugged. "I don't know, it's like once I'm actually dating someone she stops caring. Like the actual woman doesn't matter - the point is I'm in a committed, monogamous relationship."

D shuddered. "Fucking gross, dude. You sure you don't wanna just use the girlfriend script? I suck at being a girl."

"There's the place," Brad said and pointed to a small cafe on the corner. While D parallel parked flawlessly, Brad scanned the crowd.

"Shit," he said, raising his hand and smiling. "She's sitting outside."

"What d-mmf!" Brad cut her off by pressing his mouth to hers. She put her hands as on his chest as if to push him away, but she didn't actually push. Despite her best efforts, she moaned a little before he broke the kiss and looked at her apologetically.

D was dazed for a second. "What... hey! What the fuck? Dude, you fucking-"

"Shhh," he cut her off. "Sorry, I had to make it look real. Now get out and act normal."

D grimaced and took a swig from her water bottle, then stepped out of the car to meet Aunt June.