There is something ...

Dear Diary, (afternoon of May 22nd)

After witnessing Angelica's insatiable appetite this morning with Mr. Thornton, I did not think there was anything else she could do to shock me, but as it turns out that sexy young **** wanted more than a romp with the young lawyer. So much has happened in these past hours that I wonder if I can get it all down in this journal.

“Ma'am? Do you mean that, Miss?” Unlike earlier, when this house **** seemed to be in complete control of her surroundings, Angelica seems almost hesitant.

“Of course, Angelica. What can I do for you?” It turns out that this fancy maid had her own ideal lover. It was not my father, nor Mr. Thornton or any of the other white men at Havenhall. Angelica had her eyes on one of the negro slaves that I now owned. It took a few minutes to get out of her what it was that she really wanted.

“You want me to let this **** use you?”

“Yes Ma'am. De ol' Master did this when he wanted to punish me for getting too sassy.” Angelica's cheeks turned a shade just a little darker. “He like to watch that young bull ruttin on me like I was just one of the breeders in the pens.” I can hardly condemn my father for his voyeuristic activities, not after I watched this same pretty **** riding Mr. Thornton just this morning.

At the time I found it difficult to believe that Angelica wanted me to give her to this negro like that. Now that I've seen this ebony stud in action I am starting to understand. The **** in question worked in the farrier's pen and the hours spent at the anvil has given the man an impressive physique - with his bare chest and the hammer in his hand, he looked like the African version of the Norse god Thor.

But I am getting ahead of myself.

I broke my fast with Mr. Thornton sitting outside on the East-facing patio and watched as his eyes followed Angelica as she brought us coffee and juice. The house **** moved with a dancer's grace, and even fully clothed I could see how she might attract any man's attention. I could not help teasing the young man as I nibbled on my toast.

“She's a pretty ****, don't you think?” With his fair skin it is easy to see the color in his cheeks as he turned his attention back to me. “Now that my father is gone, we'll have to find some other way to keep her busy...” I let the words fade into the morning air like it meant nothing to me. Mr. Thornton glanced at the subject of the conversation and shrugged his shoulders noncommittally before reminding me that in his will my father expressly asked that the **** be kept working in the plantation house. I had already seen the kind of 'work' Angelica did and could well understand why Mr. Thornton did not want to see any changes made to the arrangement. It was then that I realized I was actually jealous of my negro ****.

When Mr. Thornton told me that he had business to attend to in Charlston, and asked if he might remain here in Havenhall for another week or so until his affairs were in order, I agreed quite happily. Placing my hand on his long, delicate fingers I assured the earnest young lawyer that he was always welcome in Havenhall and that I might need to engage his services and put him on a retainer. The kind words and offer of a job seemed to fluster the young man even more than my comment about Angelica. It was with genuine fondness that I saw him off on one of the riding horses a little later in the morning.

I saw Conrad in the stables, mucking out one of the stalls and recognized him as the same negro boy who had first met my coach upon my arrival in my new home. I was not the only one who had taken an interest in the man as he worked, a trio of teenaged colored girls were watching the handsome man working with undisguised interest.

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The slaves looked a little too young to be childbearing, but they were certainly old enough to appreciate the man's good looks. I wondered if they knew that there was a good chance that this coal-black bull would be the stud that would be standing behind them within a year or two and planting his seed in their bellies. I watched Conrad for almost a minute seeing if he was returning the young doe's attention, but he seemed to know I was there and went about his work diligently. Mr. Kyleson had told me that there were three or four bucks that my fathered liked to use as studs, and I had no doubt that this man was one of the favorites. Did this muscular man check out the colored girls as they grew older, anticipating the moment when he was summoned to break their smooth black bodies in?

I was more excited than I expected to be when I found Angelica and all but dragged her back to the stables. As part of our plan, Angelica protested and pleaded for forgiveness, like when my father did this, I wanted it to look like a punishment, not something she had requested of me. By this point I didn't even care. I remembered the way she took me to see her riding on Mr. Thornton and the knowing smile on her face when she smelled the scent of my arousal later in my chambers. I wanted to see that sexy Jezabel used good and hard. Now that I knew who it was that was going to fuck her, I was even more eager to establish myself as the rightful Mistress of Havenhall.

“Conrad!” I barked as forcefully as I could when I led Angelica into the barnyard. Because I was looking for it, I could see the surprise and interest beneath his passive demeanor. “This little strumpet has been flirting with my guests. I think she needs a lesson in a **** girl's place here in Havenhall.” The negro's eyes flickered briefly to Angelica where she waited silently with her mop of hair hiding her face and I saw a flash of his white teeth before the smile disappeared and his attention snapped back to me.

“Yes, Mistress. Yo' wan' I should whup her ass first, or jus do my thing wit her?”

“Whatever Master Heyward wanted will be fine.” I replied, trying not to think about what Angelica's slender body would look like as a heavy whip wrapped around her figure. “Just make sure that by the time you are done with her that she knows she's just a nigger **** and nothing more.”

“Yes, ma'am.” I pushed the girl forward and pretended not to watch as Conrad grabbed her by her arm and led the pretty **** further into the darkness. As I stood there in the barn I remembered how Angelica said that my father liked to watch, and I wondered if I dared follow. I knew that in a place like Havenhall every move I made would be noted and shared in both the **** pens and main house.