The retirement home

"Retirement home." Wamp! the gavel slammed down. "Next case." Muffy pouted as her lawyer sighed in relief. She didn't quite grasp what had just happened. Her lawyer moved her away from their desk, into the corridor, and donned a shit-eating grin.

"Well, Ms. Von Clapp, that was a close one. 200 hours community service in the old folk's home was a pretty light sentence considering you were up for felonious endangerment." She was not impressed. She pushed her frosted, short cropped hair back into style, and pouted a silent "why do even have to that" pout. "Now, hold on, you got off real, REAL light Ms Von Clapp..." he said, a deadly seriousness entering his voice. Her lawyer turned to her, and stopped her.

He looked down the street both ways like he was in a spy movie, and said in a harsh whisper; "Listen, you dumb bitch. You could have gotten 10 fucking YEARS in jail for that bullshit! If you fuck this up, in any way, you are done. Does that register in that hollow fucking head of yours? Eh? Well I'll spell it out just in case it doesn't: If the staff, the patients, your parole officer; fuck...pretty much anyone; says you have relapsed or aren't going with the program, you'll be tongue-meat for the bull dykes upstate. You get me Mustafina?"

Her real name was embarrassing to her since it was inspired by a cartoon: Mustafina Anastasia Wilhelm Von Clapp. How inglorious to be named after a cartoon lion while her mother was rolling on painkillers during her pregancy. She sighed, seeing no other way out this predicament. Her publicist had been dying for some really juicy stuff for a couple of years. She knew that in the end, she'd be able to spin this all to her favor.

"Yeah, I get you." she said.

...............

One week later:

.............

Muffy arrived at the Fawndale Charity Retirement Home at a brutal 8 AM. Her nightlife eyes revolted against the dawning sun. Her tight, hot, slutty-couture look was absolutely abrasive against the warm, cozy interior of the rest home. An orderly greeted her, and blushed.

"Um, Ms VonClappIHaveToEscortYouToTheChargeNurseMa'am..." he said is a blur of arousal and shame. It was how most people addressed her, so she wasn't taken aback. She simply followed the orderly to a non-distinct room occupied by a non-distinct woman, and took a seat. She barely payed attention to the frumpy old bag, only noting the words "You are to be a sitter. Just keep them happy and quiet", and "your first patient is..."