The peace talks

I am in my room with Kaitlyn and we eating a pizza even though our breakup has put us both in a somber mood. I guess that I should be grateful that neither of us is crying at the moment since a person could have filled a bucket with the tears that we have already shed today. I should also be grateful that we are not both sitting on my bed since that would tempt me to start something sexual with my former girlfriend. That is the last thing we need we need. We need closure and we need to settle our feelings.

Even though Kaitlyn is sitting in a chair which is a ways from my bed, I cannot help but recall the last time my friend and I were in my room together. As soon as my door was closed, we both erupted into heavy kissing. It is not easy to walk and make out with someone at the same time, but we still somehow made it over to my bed. I continued to devour my lover's lips until I felt the backs of her knees collide with the side of my bed. I took the opportunity to shove my partner onto my bed and climb on top of her. I nibbled on her left ear and she wrapped her legs around her waist so I couldn't get away. After giving her butt a couple of greedy squeezes, I started to undress my love and...

No. This isn't good. I cannot loose myself to my urges no matter how much I miss that part of our relationship. I have to stay focused on what Kaitlyn and I need to do. I shook my head a couple of times to clear my thoughts. I took a bite of my pizza to calm myself. I need to decide on what I need to say. There are things that we both need to say to help us get over our breakup and strengthen our friendship. I take a deep breath to steady myself and I get the ball rolling.

"I am so sorry that I hurt you," I murmured with a deep frown on my face.

"Don't worry about it," Kaitlyn muttered while shrugging her shoulders.

"No, I don't want us to do that!" I protested. "I do not want us to sweep things under the rug like they don't matter!"

"Actually, I'm sorry too," Kaitlyn sighed.

"For what?" I wondered.

"I' am sorry that I said that I hated you!" Kaitlyn proclaimed.

"You said that," I reminded my former girlfriend.

"I couldn't say it to you enough times for what I did," Kaitlyn grumbled.

"I hurt you and you hurt me so I think that we are even," I guessed.

"We aren't even by a long shot!" Kaitlyn shot out to completely startle me.

"Huh?" I coughed.

"What I did to you was a lot worse than what you did to me!" my friend explained. "You showed me every possible mercy. You took me outside so we could break up in private. I could tell that you didn't want to do it since you crying. Did I show you any consideration? No, I stabbed you in the back!"

"Kaitlyn..." I sighed since I did not know what else to say.

"And another thing, I should have taken better care of you," my ex went on. "I was too wrapped up in my own needs. I know that I am not an easy person to get along with. I know that it is my fault that we broke up and I don't blame you if you don't love me anymore."

"First of all, our breakup is no one's fault!" I chided. "We are just too different."

"That is what Abbie said," Kaitlyn laughed.

"Well, it's true!" I verified.

"What else were you going to say?" my former girlfriend prodded.

"Don't you ever think for one moment that I have stopped loving you," I clarified. "I just love you in a different way now."

"I guess that I'll have to take it," Kaitlyn gave in which caused me to comfort her by patting her right hand.

Since our conversation had hit a momentary respite, we went back to eating our pizza and drinking our orange soda. Thanks to what we have already said to each other, my heart feels a lot lighter. I now have faith that we will mend our friendship. Sometimes a friendship can be destroyed if the friends try to date and it doesn't work out, but our friendship will endure. I wonder what we will do next when we finished our pizza.

"Can I ask you something?" Kaitlyn probed.

"I bet that you are going to ask me where I was last night," I guessed. "If you are, then you won't be the first."

"Well, you were gone all night and you didn't call," Kaitlyn pressed.

"You might not believe me if I told you," I objected.

"You are one of the most honest people that I know, Portia," Kaitlyn debated. "Why wouldn't I believe you?"

"It started after the concert incident," I began. "That was when I decided that I needed a change in my life. I was trying to decide what that meant when I wound up in a bar. I thought that I would be alone to think about things, but I wasn't. A girl sat next to me and wanted to talk about the divorce her parents were getting. She was asking for my help."

"You never could turn down someone who needed help," Kaitlyn put out with a smile. "That is one of the things that I love most about you. I just don't understand why you aren't telling me who this girl is."

"I will get to that later," I hedged. "By the time we got done talking, it was night out. She gave me a ride to the dorm parking lot, but she wouldn't let me walk home in the dark. I had to sleep at her place where she lives with a bunch of other girls. Since there were no other beds available, she shared her bed with me which of course was strictly platonic."

"I don't doubt that, but what is with all of the mystery?" Kaitlyn demands in frustration. "Who is this mystery girl and why wouldn't I believe it?"

"Let's just say that she is the last girl that I would have expected to ask for my help," I hinted which caused my former lover to think for a few seconds.

"No freaking way!" Kaitlyn spat in total shock when the answer hit her. "You were with Becca last night?!"

"Becca and I are friends now," I revealed to further shock my best friend.

Kaitlyn opened and closed her mouth as if she forgot what she wanted to say. I can certainly understand Kaitlyn's shock about my new friendship with Becca since I am rather surprised about it myself. I just hope my best bud does not put up too much of a fuss about this revelation.