The note lands on the head of the resident butt monkey.

Felix was heading back to his apartment in the morning, having gone out to get some groceries. Unfortunately, his luck chose that moment to kick in, and one of the tires in his car, a 2015 Toyota Camry, blew out. "Are you fucking kidding me!?" he demanded as he pulled over. "I've got ice cream in the trunk for god's sake!"

He hurried out of his car, and quickly opened his trunk, getting the tools needed to change his tire, thankfully having a spare. Well, not so fortunate, more of a precaution from a guy who knew his luck by this point in his life.

It took a bit longer than Felix would have liked, but he managed to get the damn tire replaced, and he sighed. "Glad that's over... Now, unless whatever jackass of a god likes to pull some other crap on me, I should be good for now..." he muttered.

...he should really know better than to temp fate like that with his luck, but sometimes, he just couldn't help being sarcastic. WHAM! Out of freaking nowhere, something crashed down on his head, and he was knocked to the ground, momentarily dazed.

...

Up above, some jackass of a god was laughing herself sick. She never even meant to do it, but somehow, nine times out of ten, whenever she dropped her little present on a mortal world, it had a tendency to crash down on some unlucky, but soon to be very lucky, soul's noggin. She never got tired of that amusing accident.

...

"Ooooow!" Felix groaned, sitting up. "What the hell now!?" He looked around to see what on this earth could have possibly dropped from the sky to bop him on the head. He paused as he saw the item in question. "...Sex Note?" he asked aloud as he opened the book, and read the rules.

1. The person who's name is written in this book will be made to have sex.
2. The notebook will not take effect if the user does not envision the person they have in mind as they write the name. This way, others sharing the same name will be unaffected.
3. The person whose name is written down can be given a sexual partner by writing another name down within thirty seconds of writing the target's name. If no other names are filled in, the target will simply seek sex with the notebook's owner.
4. The details of the sexual escapade can be written within 5 minutes of writing the name. The named person will then be compelled to perform whatever acts are written in the book, for whatever specified length of time.
5. If a person's name is written in two Sex Notes, the one that was written first will take precedence if the acts contradict each other in any way.
6. Physical changes can be made to a person by writing their names in the Note followed by the desired changes. The restrictions are that these must be attractive to the writer, and they must be biologically possible.

"...hah, that's an interesting fantasy right there," Felix chortled, but he knew that magic wasn't exactly real. At least, it wasn't in his world, not that he knew of the multiverse just yet. Still... He actually considered the possibility for a moment as he wondered just how a Notebook could have hit him on the head at what felt like damn near terminal velocity. There were no high trees or buildings near enough for someone to have thrown it... He then shook his now aching head, his rational mind kicking in.

"No, that's crazy," he told himself. "It had to have fallen out of a helicopter or something..." Still, something about it nagged at him.

He then got a phone call, and picked up his cell after seeing it was Krono. "Hello?" he asked.

"Felix, what's taking you? You want to hit the beach sometime today, don't you?" Krono's voice asked. "Yang's not being very patient either."

"Sorry man, I got a flat on the way back," Felix apologized. "I just can't catch a break..." They had made plans to visit the beach this afternoon, and Krono was waiting at his apartment, and of course, Felix had invited Yang along. Krono also wanted to introduce his new girlfriend to Felix, who would meet them there, though Krono was being tight lipped about her for now. One of the benefits of living in New York was being in close proximity to a few lovely beaches.

"Seriously Felix, you really need to track down that voodoo priest you had to have pissed off as a kid, and apologize, it could only help," Krono chuckled.

"That was funny the first fifty times I heard you say that Krono," Felix rolled his eyes. "It's starting to get old... At any rate, I'm about to get back on the road, see you in ten."

"Alright then," Krono hung up.

Felix then looked at the Note. "...fuck it, couldn't hurt to test on the nonexistent chance it's for real," he chuckled. "If nothing else, it could be decent fap material."

He got a pen from his dashboard, and wrote, "Yang Xaio Long will spend the rest of the time before going to the beach topless, not minding Krono Circhester nor Felix Murphy when he arrives staring at her chest, even openly displaying it for them. Krono will not protest her doing so particularly vehemently, nor will he freak out a big deal."

He chuckled. "I'm entitled to a bit of silliness every now and then," he said, stowing the Note in his bag before starting his car back up.