The guantlet

Finally, the bus pulled up in front of Foster's, and Frankie and Mac disembarked. Mac opened the door for Frankie, without thinking about it. She smiled and thanked him. He smirked, partly as acknowledgment of the thanks, partly just out of relief the awning offered from the morning sunlight. In the lobby, Coco (a bird/airplane/palm tree hybrid) and Madame Foster (a non-imaginary old lady and founder of Foster's) were trying to play 'Guess what's in the egg'.

Foster: Is it explosive?

Coco: Co.

Foster: Darn. Ooh, Frankie! How did the speed-date go?

Frankie: Don't ask.

Mac walked in, shielding his eyes from the light of the chandelier.

Foster: Oh, i think i can figure it out. Way to go, girl! Bout time you got dusted. Oo-hoo-hoo-hoo!!

Frankie: What? Oh, Grandma!! Don't be gross!

Foster: Nothing gross about it, dear. Every woman gets 'the itch', and none stronger than a Foster!

Frankie: Oh, Jeez!

Cheese: gargling inhale Yes?

Frankie: No, i said 'jeez'.

Cheese: gargling inhale Ok.

Cheese walked away.

Cheese: I'M A GOPHER!! I'M A GOPHER!! I'M A...THUD...Rug tastes funny...

Frankie: Where is he going? Oh, well, as long as it's elsewhere. Anyway, this is not what it looks like. Y'see, Goo's new friend....

Bloo: I won't have that con artist's name mentioned in my house!!

Foster: In whose house, now?

Frankie, storming over to Bloo: You! How!? Why!?

Bloo: Alright, look. I know you don't think it's 'possible' or 'smart' to try to build a dinosaur-seeking missile, but hear me out. I need it to blow up dinosaurs.

Frankie: Shut up! Just shut! Up!

Bloo: Jeez, what's your problem? Not my fault Mac got drunk and you had pity-fun with him.

Foster and Coco, and half the house, suddenly: GASP!!

Coco: Co co 'coco-co'?

Foster: I'll tell you when you're a little older, dearie.

Coco, angry: Co coco co co co!

Foster: Sure you are. And Bloo. What exactly do you know about 'pity-fun'?

Bloo: Saw it in a movie once. Why, what is it?

Foster whispers in Bloo's....to Bloo.

Bloo: OOOHH!! NOW i get why it's funny to tease them about it! You pity-fun-havers.

Frankie grabbed Bloo by the top of the head and picked him up to eye-level with her snarling mouth.

Frankie: Now you listen, and you listen good.

Bloo: Sorry, i got low marks on my last hearing test. Oo! I'm on fire this morning!

Frankie: Don't give me any ideas. ONE!! It IS your fault Mac got drunk. TWO! Mac and i did not have 'pity-fun'! We fell asleep in the bus! THREE!! One and two are my problem!!

Bloo: So, you're mad because you DIDN'T have pity-fun with Mac?

Frankie: WHAT!? NO!! I mean....RRRRR!!! she shook him and brought him close to her. in a harsh hiss Listen to me. If it were up to me, you would be out on your blue butt right now. I'm SERIOUSLY considering asking Herriman to kick you out. What you did last night to your 'best friend' was mean and not cool OR funny.

Bloo: Hey, i didn't funnel it down his throat. I mean if he had refused to drink, i was all ready to. I got this awesome yellow funnel from the garage just for that! You should see it! It's all...

Frankie: SHH!!

Foster: I think that yellow funnel is for motor oil. Now, THAT would've been a heckuva drink! But, come on now, dearie. Don't take your frustrations out on poor Bloo. It's not his fault you're....in loooove!

Frankie: shrill gasp

Mac: Whuh?!

Frankie: Gr...we'r...bu...you do...i me...

Coco, singsong: Coco co...co co co coco?

Goo: So THERE you are, MAAAAc!!

Foster: MAc, you say?

Goo: Shyeah! See, me and Timen, that's my new, totally AWE-SOME new friend, we met Mac yesterday, well, Timen met Mac yesterday. I met Mac a long time ago. It was this really-really-REEEEALLY sunny day after school, and we were at Foster's, and he was like 'whats with all the new imaginary friends?' and i was all 'hi, wanna be my friend?' and he was all 'you're weird!' and i was all 'everyone says that waahhh!!' and he was all 'sorry, we're friends now', and then we were. But THEEEEEN!! I made up Timen, and he made MAc older, and then he dated Frankie, and they had pity-fun, i guess. HEY! what's pity-fun, huuuuuh, what's pity-fuuuun!?!?

Bloo: Told ya.

Foster:......Mac, you say?

Coco: Co!? Co co CO Co!?

Frankie: Yes, our Mac. The one who brought Bloo here, the one who comes and sees him everyday. Mac.

Coco: Co....co co co co...co CO?!

Frankie: NO, I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH MAC!!!

Mac: AAAAAAAAAAA!!!! OOOWWWW!!!

Foster: What was the second yell for?

Mac: The first one hurt so bad, i had to scream again.

Foster: Got a headache, dearie? Or are you just making the excuse later more believable?

Frankie, gritting her teeth: He's hungover.

Foster: What!?

Mac: Aaaa...

Foster: Here, lemme make you some of my world-famous hangover cure.

Frankie: Uh, grandma. Why do you have a world-famous hangover cure?

Foster: I wasn't always as quiet and docile as i am now. Now, if you'll excuse me...she does 'the worm' all the way to the kitchen

Wilt: Uh, Frankie? I'm sorry, but....Mac and Frankie, sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Coco: Co co cooo, co co coco, co co co co-co co co co-co coco!!

Bloo: Yeah! Then comes....kisses...then comes....pity-fun....then comes Frankie with....some...pity-fun!!

Eduardo (a purple-furred giant monster-like creature): Si! Mac y Frankie es en looove! smootchy sounds

Frankie: sigh Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Get it all out of your systems. Jeez, where's grandma with that cure?

Wilt: I'm sorry, it's just so weird! I mean, you and Mac? I never thought you'd be a couple.

Eduardo: I did.

Bloo: No you didn't.

Eduardo: I did so too thought that! I thought that years y years ago!

Bloo: Oh, yeah? How many years ago?

Eduardo: Uh....ocho?

Wilt: Mac was born eight years ago, Ed.

Eduardo: Si! And i knew it even then!

Wilt: I'm sorry, but i don't buy that! Is that ok?

Eduardo: No! Es no ok!

Wilt: Oh! Then i DO buy it. I guess...

Frankie: Alright, look, i'm gonna say this one time: Mac and i are NOT a couple. We did not have...pity-fun. Now, drop it!

Bloo: Only once, huh? So, i guess you wouldn't do anything if i were to...oh, i dunno...RUN AROUND THE HOUSE TELLING EVERYONE YOU ARE?!! MAC AND FRANKIE ARE A COU...

Bloo started up the stairs, but Frankie tackled him before he got too far.

Frankie: Lord, give me the strength to either resist **** him, or to **** him really hard!

Feeling no surge of super-human strength, she released his throat.

Frankie: Man...i'm battin' 0 and 712 with that prayer.

A loud crash came from above the room as Madame Foster zoomed downward, finally hitting the floor with a loud 'SMACK!!'.

Frankie: ....G-grandma?

Foster: Here's your hangover juice, dear.

She jumped to her feet.

Foster: OO! Late for my rock-climbing!

Frankie: Quiet and docile, huh?