The downside to being the rival

"Hello, there!" Professor Oak said. "Glad to meet you!"

"Um, thanks," Red said. "I was told I could come here for a free–"

"Welcome to the world of Pokemon!"

Red looked around. "Um, okay, but I've literally been in this world since the day I was born, so …"

"My name is Oak."

Red blinked. "Yeah, I know."

"People affectionally refer to me as the Pokemon Professor. This world … is inhabited far and wide by creatures called Pokemon. For some people, Pokemon are pets. Others use them for battling."

"Which is why I'm here," Red said. "I heard that–"

"As for myself … I study Pokemon as a profession."

"Yeah, that would explain the Pokemon Professor thing."

"You should probably just let him finish," Jenna said. "Grandpa's not as young as he used to be, so it's best not to mess up his routine."

"But first," Professor Oak said, as though his earring aides had fallen out again. "Tell me a little about yourself."

"Well," Red said, "I'm your next door neighbor, and I've been living here my whole life. You flirt with my mom a lot, which is kind of creepy if you ask me, but …"

Oak nodded. "Now tell me, are you a boy or a girl?"

Jenna burst out laughing, and Red shot her a glare. "Hey, you shut up, okay? There's nothing funny about Alzheimer's. And I'm a boy, Professor, okay? Do you–do you need me to prove it?"

Oak looked at him skeptically. "Well, if you say so. I'm not a judgmental person, so whatever you decide to be is fine. Now, what is your name?"

Red gave him a flat look. "Red. Again, I've lived here my whole life."

"Right, so your name is Red." Oak turned to Jenna. "This is my granddaughter, Red. She's been your rival since you two were babies."

"Oh, so now you remember that I live here," Red said.

"I wouldn't really call him my rival, Grandpa," Jenna said. "Most of the time he's just annoying."

Oak squinted at Jenna and whispered to Red, "Erm, what was her name again?"

"Grandpa!"

"Slutface," Red said quickly. "Her name is Slutface."

"That's right!" Oak said. "Her name is Slutface."

"What?"

"Ha!" Red said. "Not so funny now, is it, Slutface?"

Jenna glared at him. "I'm going to take you down, Red. I'm serious. You will pay."

"But enough of the introductions," Oak said. "You're about to start your very own Pokemon adventure. When I was younger, I used to be an accomplished trainer, but now only have those few Pokemon left." He looked at a table with a few Pokeballs on it. "To help you out, I'll give you each one free Pokemon."