The big speech

You follow the crowds back out into the front hallway. Someone seems to have divvied it up now - there's an area immediately in front of the big staircase, around the "STUD" platform, that's got a cheap velvet rope separating it from the rest of the hall. A sign on one of the ropes says "Brothers only beyond this point," so you shrug and turn back.

{if Judy > 0}As you do, someone taps your shoulder. "Luke? Hey!" Turning in surprise, you grin as you see Judy standing behind you.

"Judy! I didn't know you were gonna be here."

"Well, I wasn't sure I was going to, but I figured why not - you only live once, right?" the Korean girl asks wryly. She peers around. "Leah's here somewh- oh, there! Hey, Leah!"

Following her gaze, you see Leah waving back to her among the crowd. Judy gestures for you to follow her and you work your way through the crowd, to where Leah is hovering near the door. As you arrive, a big, lanky guy in a beanie ambles up as well, drinking from a red plastic cup, and puts his arm around Leah.

"Hey, glad I found you again," Judy says to her friend. "Oh - Luke, this is Derek. Leah's, uh...dude."

{else}After a few moments, you decide the crowd is too thick here, and you head back toward the front door - not to leave, just to get out of the press. As you squeeze out of the crowd, you bump right into someone.

"Oh, geez, sorry," you say, catching her as she stumbles. The person you bumped is a skinny Korean girl, with a fetchingly ragged bob cut. She smiles at you as you help her regain her balance.

"No worries. Thanks," she says. "Trying to get out of all that mess?"

"Yeah. Bit much for me."

"I get that. Come on, my friend and I pulled out too...I'm Judy, by the way."

"Luke Orman," you say with a smile. Judy leads you over to where a tanned, pleasantly plump blonde girl is hovering near the door. As you arrive, a big, lanky guy in a beanie ambles over as well and puts his arm affectionately around the blonde's shoulders.

"Leah, Derek, this is Luke. He also thought the crowds were a bit much," Judy says as you approach. "Luke, this is my friend Leah and Derek, her uh...her...guy?" Derek grins and shakes your hand cheerfully; Leah shakes it as well, but drops her eyes, looking nervous.{endif}

"Nice ta meet ya, Luke!" Derek says with a grin. He shakes your hand affably. "Yeah, I was 'paired off' or whatever with Leah here. Lucky me, right? She's a sweetie." He guffaws loudly. Clearly he's already pretty drunk. "You didn't bring your automatic date?"

"Nah," you say. "She's, uh...not super into the whole thing."

"Can't say I blame her," Judy mutters. "I thought about walking away myself..."

"Yeah, that's fair," Derek says breezily. "But hey, if no one tries any funny business, no reason we can't all be buds. Right?!" he looks at Leah, who blushes and looks away, but nods.

Just then, you're interrupted by the speakers (where is the DJ, anyway?) playing an overly grandiose trumpet fanfare. Turning back to look at the stairs, you see a round-faced young man, already slightly balding on top, descending the stairs slowly, almost in a parody of royalty. He's wearing a full tux with tails, and he waves languidly at the crowd below as people applaud and his frat bros cheer. He stops on a small landing about five feet off the floor and holds his hands out for silence.

"My friends! I'm so delighted you all could make it. Thank you for coming to the first Delta Omega Mu party of the year - but not the last!" Another round of cheers, and the guy - evidently DOM president James Harrison - raises a glass of champagne (well, a champagne glass, at least) in a toast and drains it. He puts the glass down and holds his hands up for silence again.

"Now, for the first-years present - you may not know exactly what a DOM party normally entails. For everybody else: we know why you're here! And the first party, especially, is an important one. But before we get to the main event, I have to acknowledge that a ton of people make these parties possible. Most especially, my boys!! DOM for life!" There's wild cheering from the frat bro section. You grin, amused, at Judy, Leah, and Derek, who look anywhere from nervous (Leah) to exasperated (Judy) to entertained (Derek). When the cheering dies down, Harrison continues: "But I also have to thank a very special someone. Please give a warm thank-you welcome to my girl - my maidservant for the last two years, the brains and beauty behind every decision I make, the First Mistress of Delta Omega Mu: Briana Windham!"

There's another round of wild cheering mixed with scattered polite applause as Harrison gestures up the stairs. A silvery, four-inch high heel appears, then another - then their wearer comes into view, elegantly descending the frat-house stairs like it's a red carpet event. Briana Windham is a long-legged girl with a dazzling smile, perfect makeup, and a model's face. She reaches Harrison's level and kisses him deeply before turning and waving to the crowd with a grin. She's got an incredibly revealing silver jumpsuit on, a halter-neck style with a deep cleavage window that seems somehow to cling right to -

"Holy shit," Judy mutters, and your mouth drops open. You hear Leah gasp as you all come to the realization together: the girl's not wearing a jumpsuit at all. She's totally nude, wearing body paint.

"Jesus, people at this school need a hobby," you hear Judy mumble. Part of you agrees, although another part of you is getting a little aroused by this...

Harrison rests his hand easily on Windham's ass as she drapes an arm attractively about his shoulders. "And, of course," he continues, "the star of the evening, here for your viewing pleasure - to make men cheer in admiration and maids wish they could give him their charm right now - please welcome tonight's Stud, Peter Yang!"

Another round of cheering - and some hooting - from the frat bros. Another figure descends the stairs, this time an Asian boy a few years older than you. He's got a good-looking, almost lantern-jawed face, and he's incredibly muscled. He looks practically like a bodybuilder, and clearly he knows it. He's got nothing on but a black thong (which already is giving you the impression of a pretty impressive bulge) and as he hits the landing he flexes and poses for the crowd. More whoops, and he grins as he comes to stand next to Harrison. In addition to the thong, he's got some sort of headpiece on that gives him giant curly ram's horns hanging next to his face.

"So, Peter. You ready?" Harrison asks.

"You know I am, bro!" Yang says, nearly shouting to let the whole crowd hear the exchange. "I'm a lean, mean, good-lookin' machine. I'm ready to keep goin' all night - some o' the cuties out there in the crowd know that already!" There are one or two supportive cheers from girls in the crowd, and a lot more from his frat bros. Yang grins and steps back to let Harrison speak.

"Very well then," Harrison says solemnly. "Let the dividing of the spoils begin!"

Wait...what does that mean?