The Untitled Interactive DVD

Jack shrugged and pulled one of the DVDs out of the bag at random. It didn't seem to have a title; the front cover design was a collage of photos of dozens if not hundreds of men and women, with what seemed like every possible ethnic background, hair color, and body shape, wearing a variety of outfits ranging from casual clothes to fetish wear, and all at least reasonably attractive -- he found some of the women downright beautiful, in fact.

It seemed a little ridiculous -- what, was this a DVD of an orgy involving all those people? The back cover wasn't much help, proclaiming only that this was a product of "Magic Adult Media, Inc." and promising "This DVD offers many Different Virtual Destinies. It's FULLY interactive, allowing you to live out your fantasies."

Jack chortled as he loaded the disc into the tray of his player. Yeah, right, fully interactive -- at best, he'd get to push a few buttons in the right order to make a girl come. He sat back in his recliner, remote at the ready.

The disc loaded, and an official-looking seal and the words "FBI WARNING" appeared on Jack's TV. He didn't bother reading the rest of the text, although just as the screen faded out, he suddenly realized that the seal read "Federal Bureau of Incantations."

No, that was ridiculous -- that's the kind of thing you see when you're only halfway paying attention to fine print. He rubbed his eyes as a Magic Adult Media and a Different Virtual Destinies logo whooshed onto the screen, then unzipped his pants as they whooshed off again.

He was expecting the next menu to allow him to start playing the movie, or the game, or whatever it was, but instead it was headlined "CHOOSE CENTRAL CHARACTER" and had two selectable options, "MALE" and "FEMALE." Jack used the up and down arrow keys on his remote to move the selection box from one to the other.