The Truth Will Get You Laid! (Eventually: But Right Off It Gets You An Enthusiastic Kiss...)

Jack wanted to lie, the truth sounded crazy even to himself. Hell, for all he knew he WAS crazy, he could be a person from this 'New' World who was in some kind of post traumatic fugue state, but for all Jack's many flaws, he wasn't a liar, not if he could help it. Perhaps it was the easy way to get out of something, but it always came back to bite you...

"Okay miss, this is going to sound insane, I know that before I even say it, but I'm going to be honest anyway. I'm not sure what your talking about, this school business, because I'm not from this planet. I think your an elf, and I think I'm supposed to do something new with my life here, but that's about all I know about this world, so, if you would please, I beseach and implore you, help me adjust to wherever I have fetched up, I will do my utmost to repay you somehow... Oh, excuse me, my name's Jack." Jack explained, and the woman with the pointed ears just stood dumbfounded for a bit.

"Me?" She finally squeaked, "I am to be the guide to the Son of Seasons?" She mewed forlornly then raised her face and fists to the sky and shouted, "THIS IS NOT FUNNY CEALIS! I'M NOT EVEN VAGUELY READY FOR THIS TASK! I'M BARELY 210, COULDN'T YOU HAVE SENT SOMEONE ELSE?!"

Jack knew by her reaction to what happened next that the elf was just as surprised by it as he was. From the clear sky that dappled the forest with sunbeams came a bolt of lightning, which struck a tree not a meter away and broke off a giant branch. Jack didn't have time to think! The branch was about to fall and crush the first person he met in this new life! He reacted on instinct, diving forward and tackleing her clear of the impact zone! That, scary as it was, was not the shocking part, THAT was what they saw on the stump of the branch when they sat up...

The lovely Elven lass felt impossibly RIGHT lying under Jack, the softness of her flesh, the way she was squirming not-exactly-uncomfortably, (for either of them,) even the oiled smoothness of her leather clothes seemed RIGHT. However the moment passed and Jack scurried off the elf then helped her to her feet. As he finally looked up at where the branch had been he saw something that made him utter a sudden profanity. "The Fuck?!" Jack exclaimed, for on the stump of the branch which looked like it was cut with a giant scalpel was perfectly pyrographed the word "No." in flowing gothic script.

Jack's elfin companion looked at the branch and gulped, then said something in Elven Jack didn't understand. She then took his hand and placed it on the top of her left breast, where he could fell her heart hammering through her armor, and said, "Welcome to Jexalia Jack, my name is Sylvankashta Mewalit 'Far-Rider' but call me 'Syl'." Then with no further warning she leaned in and kissed him full on the mouth!