The Original Enterprise...NX

“I can’t hear anything,” Travis Mayweather complained as he pressed up against the door to the ready room. Below him Charles ‘Trip’ Tucker was also trying to listen in.

“We’re not going to hear anything if you don’t be quiet,” Charles ‘Trip’ Tucker shushed him before trying to refocus on listening. “All I’ve heard so far is something about Risa and stolen kidneys.”

“A cousin of mine told me something about doing trade at a place called Risa, I’ll give him a heads up,” Mayweather said after some consideration. Trip was about to make a joke when they heard footsteps approaching the door and they scattered back to their stations. The ready room opened up and Archer stepped out and addressed the bridge crew.

“Well, it appears we will be having some guests for the foreseeable future as it were,” Archer states as you, your wives, Mariner and T’Lyn file out of the ready room. T’Pol and Reed follow behind. “Welcome aboard the Gardner family, Ensign Mariner, and Sublieutenant T’Lyn. Do not ask them anything about the future. We’ll get them on their way soon enough.” The crew looked over at your group with some staring at Aelita’s ears and her noticeably pregnant belly. While they ogled, you took out your PADD and snapped a couple of photos of them, including one of T’Pol at her station (once she had returned there).

“I’m sure we’re going to have great fun with each other!” Starfire cheered as she bobbed a bit in the air to the shock of the crew.

“I was not talking about this kind of fun!” Starfire exclaimed as the Enterprise-NX shook and explosions threw people around the room. It had barely been a day and you had only been able to reveal a few slightly embarrassing Vulcan facts (with some backup from T’Lyn) to the Enterprise-NX crew before this attack started. And you were about to mention Pon-Farr too (T’Pol had asked why T’Lyn was with my group).

“Reactive hull at 67 percent!” Someone called out while Starfire flew at Aelita to protect her from the shakes. You were knocked off your feet and landed on your arm badly. You gritted your teeth as you tried to get up to your feet. You fell again when a panel exploded next to you. This time, your modified PADD activated as it fell by your arm, prominently showing a notification.

‘NintendoPussySlayer69 is nearby!’ was displayed on the lock screen. You lifted yourself up and took a look at the ship attacking on the viewscreen. Seeing a Razor Crest from the Mandalorian flying around confirmed your suspicions. Thank goodness the app you got lets you know of nearby Prime Worlder when out of universe. You quickly sat down and typed away a message on Prime Worlder frequencies.

You: Hey! Bitch Face McCunty! Scan the Fucking ship!

You let out the breath you were unknowingly holding when the Razor Crest class ship slowly stopped firing and ignored the return fire from the Enterprise-NX. Your PADD chirped with a message.

NintendoPussySlayer69: Sorry! But also what the shit FUCK r u doing in uni! I rented it so y are ya here with a couple of ur breeders!

You: FIrst of all they are my wives and time travel shit, i just on Voyager like five hours ago.

NintendoPussySlayer69: Oh 4 real? When you from?

You: I’m only saying around the __’s

NintendoPussySlayer69: Oh shit, u might not even b born yet my time.

You: Anyways, you ua going to stop attacking

NintendoPussySlayer69: Yeah, we were only going to give a little blackeye, get them to stop by our rest stop station, get autographs and give upgrades. Little Jane might’ve gotten a bit carried away with the guns.

You: What…

NintendoPussySlayer69: Gotta go bye!

You gaped as the Razor Crest quickly turned around and warped away.

“Can you track where they went?” Archer asked after making sure everyone was mostly alright. T’Pol looked at a station and answered in the negative. Archer then turned to you. “And just what were you doing on that ‘PADD’ of yours!?”

“Telling the asshole over there to stop firing,” You shrugged, not bothering to hide it. “Apparently a crewmate got a little free with the guns. I think they were only going to buzz y’all”

“You knew who they were!” Archer yelled to your surprise. You looked around trying to figure out what the problem was.

“Not personally but they were one of my people,” you explained with a shrug.

“Why did they attack my ship?”

“I don’t know, they just said they wanted to give y’all a blackeye,” you say defensively. “My people have a habit of not thinking things through.”

“I can see that,” Captain Archer said plainly. “And now you are going to help us track them down.” You frown a bit, mentally searching the list of events for anything like ‘hunt fellow Prime Worlders’ but came up empty.

“Evael won, pihs siht fo noitcurtsed latnedicca eht detneverp evah uoy,” a voice suddenly mumbled. Everyone turned to the unknown voice.

“Is that a blue koala?” Reed asked before you and your fellow time travelers disappeared in a flash.

“Okay, that should **** Archer to get repairs,” Charles Gardner stated as he set the autopilot. He turned in his seat and looked at his fellow occupant of the cockpit. “They’ll be stuck in our drydock for a few days, giving your mommas, Poppy and Alyssa plenty of time to cure the Valakians.”

“Yay! We get to be heroes!” Jane Gardner cheered, bouncing in her seat. The six year old had a child size cape that she proudly wore.

“Put your seatbelt on honey,” Charles lightly scolded.

“Oop!” Jane sat back down in her seat and clicked her seatbelt back on. Charles chuckled as he focused on using the Razor Crest’s stealth tech to make sure the Enterprise-NX didn’t track them down.

“Hey Daddy?” Asked Jane, causing Charles to hum in acknowledgement. “Do you think those other Prime World people are mad?”

“I don’t think so honey, they are probably more annoyed than anything,” Charles shrugged. “They’ll forget about it in the morning.”

“You think we’ll see them again? Do you think some flowers would say I’m sorry?” Jane held out a hand as a bundle of flowers grew out of some seeds from her trail mix.

“I have a feeling we’ll see them again,” Charles said as the Razor Crest started to slow down.

Many years in the future

“Row row row your boat gently down the stream…merrily merrily merrily…life is but a dream,” two kinda old humans and a middle aged Vulcan sang around a campfire and drinking. They were enjoying the camaraderie and peaceful air. That was until a loud voice cut through the night air.

“I think I heard a bunch of drunks singing this way,” a feminine voice called out.

“I can confirm the singing of a nursery rhyme was in this direction,” another feminine voice said. Bones, Spock, and Kirk set down their bottles and looked over as an odd group emerged from the treeline. What looked like two vulcans(one with pink hair, facial tattoos, and pregnant), two humans, and an orange skinned humanoid had emerged.

“Oh there they are, “ the orange woman with fiery hair stated before she waved at Kirk’s group. “Hello campfire singers! Can you help us! We are the lost.” Meanwhile the human girl and the Vulcan with the headband stared at Kirk’s group.

“Did I seriously call Kirk, Spock, and McCoy drunks,” Mariner said, gobsmacked.

“And you heard them singing Row Row Row Your Boat,” you let out a half gasp and half laugh.

“Can we help you folks?” Kirk asked cautiously as Spock looked curiously at the humans.