The Lunchtime Interrogation

“Urgh, a new phone? But this one is only a year old?”

“Sorry miss, but I think it’s best if you just switch up to a new one. We’ve got these packages here for the new iPhone and…”

“No, it’s okay, I think I’ll hold on to this one for the time being, thanks anyway,” said Jessica and made her way out of the phone shop in the mall.

She didn’t need anything in the supermarket but Jessica couldn’t help going in. She’d made the offer of a date with James on a whim and found herself looking forward to it more than she thought she would. But she couldn’t help thinking that James’ lack of confidence would lead him to have second thoughts. If he didn’t want to go then she wouldn’t push the matter, but she didn’t much fancy being stood up. After wandering around and placing a few random things in her basket she found James stacking shelves in the biscuit aisle.

“Ah, there you are, I was hoping I’d bump into you,” she said.

“Oh, hi Jess, erm…erm…how are you?”

“I’m fine thank you. I came into town to have the guys in the phone shop look at my mobile, but they couldn’t help me. I thought I’d pop in a pick up a few bits while I’m here. I’m looking forward to tonight, is seven thirty still okay for you?”

“Yes, yes seven thirty is fine.”

“Okay, I know that look, come on, out with it, what’s up?”

“I thought you were kidding about tonight.”

“Nope, I was being deadly serious.”

“Erm, okay well, yeah, um, okay, I guess I’ll see you tonight then.”

“James, stop panicking, it’s fine, we’ll just have a bite to eat and enjoy each other’s company.”

“Sorry, this is all a bit new to me.”

“Don’t mention it. Right, now then, where are those two girls, Kristy and what’s her name?”

“Caitlin, they’re over in the milk aisle, why?” said James, looking worried.

“I thought I’d give them something to talk about.”

“Something to talk about? What…”

Before he could finish his sentence she giggled and blew him a kiss, “See you tonight,” then turned and walked off.

She found the two girls where James said they’d be, chatting in the milk aisle. They went quiet as she approached them.

Making a point of staring at her name badge she said, “Erm, Caitlin…is James in today?”

“Yes, he’s over in aisle twenty I think. Would you like me to go and get him for you?”

“No, it’s okay, I’m in a rush and I’m sure he’s busy. Would you give him a message for me?”

“Of course.”

“Could you tell him that I’ll meet him tonight as planned?”

“Meet him…um, can I check, when you say James, do you mean the guy with the messy hair, about this high?” she said, holding her hand up over her head roughly about where James’ height would have been.

“Yes, the devilishly handsome one, that’s him.”

“Devilishly…um yeah, sure, I’ll tell him.”

“Thank you. Now, one last thing, could you tell me where Victoria’s Secret is please?”

“Victoria’s…” the girl screwed her face up, then carried on, “It’s on the first floor of the mall, next to Clinton’s, the card shop.”

“Silly me, of course it is, I remember now. Well, must dash, I’ve got lingerie to buy for a hot date tonight. Bye.”

Jessica laughed as she strode off, leaving the girls in stunned silence.

---

Later that night James was lying on his bed, thinking about the date he’d just had. He wasn’t sure she’d even show up so he waited outside to save the embarrassment of being stood up in the restaurant. When she did arrive, dressed in a beautiful figure-hugging black dress and heels she thanked him for waiting outside so they could walk in together, she told him it was a thoughtful gesture. He didn’t tell her his real reason for waiting outside.

He was nervous, and she knew it, telling him ‘Don’t worry, it’s just dinner’. He could count on one hand the amount of restaurants he’d eaten in, and most of those were American diners or pubs. This was his first experience of an Italian restaurant, he’d never been anywhere so posh in his life, he almost felt sophisticated. When he fumbled over the menu and what to order, Jessica chose for them and picked the wine too. But to spare his blushes she let him tell the waiter what they wanted. All the way through the meal she led the conversation, gently coaxing him out of his shell. She chose their dessert and coffee, and she asked for the bill. He wondered if he had tried hard enough to pay. Twice he grabbed at the bill, and twice she batted his hand away. Eventually she told him that she had invited him out, so custom dictated that she should pay. He wasn’t sure if that was true or not but when he realised that the bill amounted to nearly a week's wages he relented and let her pay.

The best bit for James though was the journey home. She insisted on taking him home and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Her car was a white Audi TT, James calculated that it would take him four years to earn what the car cost. He wondered again what she did for a living and made a mental note to Google ‘ladies who lunch’ when he got home. As nice as the trip in the fancy sports car was, he enjoyed the journey for other reasons. Firstly, as she drove her dress rode up her legs, to the point where he got a tiny glimpse of the black lace of her knickers. And secondly, when she pulled up outside his house, she gave him a kiss on the lips. But best of all, she gave him her number and insisted they have another date.

For the first time in eight years, since his mother died, James allowed himself to hope that life might just be getting better.

---

The next day Jessica opened the door to the fine art gallery in Fulham and found Dani sitting behind the desk at the far end.

“Hey,” said her friend, getting up and kissing her on each cheek.

“Hi, sorry I’m a bit late, the traffic was terrible.”

“Oh it’s no bother, I was with a client until a minute ago anyway. Shall we?”

“Yes, I’m famished.”

“So how’s business?” she asked Dani as they strode done the street.

“Good, I’ll need more stock soon.”

“Paris again?”

“Not sure, I’ve got my eye on an auction in Berlin that has some pieces I want,” said Dani as they walked into the café a few doors down from the gallery.

Dani had no need to work, she could have lived a lavish lifestyle on the money her family provided for her, just as Jessica did. But she envied Dani’s passion for art, it gave her life substance. The closest Jessica came to having meaning in her life was the charity work she did, and that was just a few days of work here and there, it could hardly be described as anything close to substantial.

With coffee and sandwiches in front of them, Dani asked, “So what have you been up to, anything interesting.”

“No, not much, same old same old. Oh, I did have a date last night though.”

Dani put her sandwich down and stared intently at her friend, “Wait, you mean a real-life date, with a man? Why am I only just hearing about this now?”

“Oh it wasn’t a big thing, he’s a friend really.”

“I call bullshit.”

“Why? I did have a date and he is a friend.”

“Jessica Harcourt, we’ve been best friends since boarding school, I know you better than anyone. When you play things down like this it means you’re hiding something. Let me guess, you wore an LBD and your Louboutins?”

“Guilty as charged.”

“See, I knew there was more to it. So come on then, spill the beans. I’m guessing he’s a tall, dark, handsome man who works in the city and whisked you away to a Michelin-starred restaurant in his Ferrari.”

“Close. He’s a twenty-year-old geek who works in a supermarket and arrived for our date at Georgio’s on a bus. And I paid.”

“Georgio’s, that crummy little hovel in Kingston?”

“I like Georgio’s. Anyway, from everything I said, that’s what you focus on, Georgio’s?”

“Oh my god, you’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Uh-huh.”

Dani got her phone out and started pressing the keypad.

“Who are you calling?” Asked Jessica, but Dani ignored the question.

“Stella…listen, something has come up, Jess is having a crisis and needs me, I won’t be in for the rest of the day. Thank you darling…byeee.”

“I am not having a crisis.”

“I beg to differ. Now then, start from the beginning. And don’t leave out a single detail.”

Three coffees and an hour and a half later…

“Honestly, that’s all there is to it,” Said Jessica, “I just thought it would be nice to give his ego a boost, he’s a nice guy.”

“Jess, half the men at that homeless place you volunteer at are nice guys who need an ego boost but I don’t see you dating them.”

“That’s not fair.”

“But it’s true.”

“What are you trying to achieve with this interrogation?”

“I’m trying to work out what you’re up to. I’m not buying the ego boost thing, well, not on its own, there’s more to this.”

“I just think he’s a rough diamond and …”

“Oh for god's sake, you and that bloody rough diamond phrase, that’s like the fifth time…oh wait, hang on, I think I know what you’re up to.”

Jessica drank the last of her coffee and said, “I think I had better get going, I need to be at the…”

“You’re not boosting his ego, you’re boosting yours.”

“Now that is unfair, that’s not it at all.”

“What happens after you’ve polished up this rough diamond of yours?”

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is that this poor lad will think you’re genuinely interested in him and more than likely fall for you. At which point you’ll cast him off and run for the hills. You can’t go around messing with people's lives like that, you’ll break the poor boy's heart.”

“My aim was to give him enough confidence to find a girlfriend. With a little coaching from me, I think he’d be able to find a lovely girl.”

“And does this coaching involve you teaching him how to fuck?”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

“That’s not exactly a resounding no, is it? And what does James think about all this?”

“I’ve not spoken to him about this yet, I thought I’d just…I mean…oh fucking hell.”

“Sorry hun,” said Dani.

“No, don’t be sorry, you’re right. I can’t fuck with people's lives.”

“Look, you’re a good person and had good intentions, you just didn’t think it through is all. Of course, if it were me I’d have gone about it all very differently.”

“Er, hold on. You told me I was about to ruin his life and now you’re saying you would have done it differently?”

“I never said you were trying to ruin his life, I said you had no plan, mainly because you didn’t even know yourself what you were trying to achieve until we just thrashed it out.”

“So what would have done differently then?”

“I wouldn’t have gone on a date with him for a start.”

“Dani, that’s not helpful.”

“Sorry. Okay, if I were you I would just tell him straight. Let him know that he’s your project and that if he’s willing it could be fun. Then, from his point of view, the worst that can happen is that he’ll get some great pointers on dating women.”

“You make it sound easy.”

“Because it is easy. Unless you decide to complicate it.”

“I won’t get involved with him, not like that.”

“Hmmm, we’ll see, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

When Jessica had gone to see Dani she was conflicted about James, she just wasn’t sure why. As often happens, Dani got to the heart of the matter. When she got home that afternoon she wrestled with what to do and decided that she had two options, either drop James now and never see him again or go all in and throw everything she had at it. She wasn’t quite what ‘it’ was just yet, but ‘it’ would likely involve a makeover for James, more dates and other social activities to try and release some of the potential she saw in him. Beyond that she thought James himself should have some input, this was about him after all.

As she mulled over the possibilities of how this could play out Jessica saw a problem. What if all this worked and James met and went on a date with a nice girl? If all Jessica did was give him a makeover and a few practice dates then any girl with an ounce of sense would soon see through the façade. And it would be a terrible thing to give James hope only to have it all come crashing down. She decided that if she was going to do this then she would have to go all the way, literally.

Dani was right though, she couldn’t do this without being totally upfront with James, it was the least he deserved. But this was such a big commitment Jessica needed more time with him to make sure she was doing the right thing.

Dani may know Jessica very well, but she’d missed the main reason all this started and what it was that was motivating Jessica to go to such great lengths to help James. With any luck, those motivations would stay where they belonged, in the past.