The Legend of Tom Thumb

Thomas had just finished a long semester of graduate courses and was celebrating with his friends at a lively karaoke bar downtown. At 25, he was a bit older than the typical college crowd, but still enjoyed letting loose and having fun. The music was pumping and drinks were flowing freely as Thomas clinked his beer mug with his buddies, belting out their favorite tunes on stage.

That's when he first saw her - a smoking hot co-ed with poured in jeans and a low-cut top barely containing her immense assets. Thomas was immediately smitten. He jumped at the chance to sing a duet with the gorgeous young thing, the smooth crooner's classic "Baby It's Cold Outside." Their voices melded together in perfect harmony as they playfully flirted with the suggestive lyrics. By the end, she was practically in his lap, giggling and flushed.

Feeling bold, Thomas casually suggested they head back to his place for a nightcap. To his delight and surprise, she readily agreed, pressing her ample chest against his arm. Her name was Chloe, a 19-year-old sophomore. As they stumbled up the walk to his apartment, Thomas was already getting excited about the night ahead, his pants growing noticeably tighter...

Chloe sauntered over to the couch and patted the seat beside her. Thomas eagerly obliged, sliding an arm around her small waist. He leaned in for a kiss but she giggled and deftly pushed him away.

"Not so fast, big boy! I wanna see what you're packing first..." Chloe winked and reached for his belt.

Thomas gulped, suddenly feeling nervous. He had a secret - at a meager 4 inches flaccid and 5 erect, his penis was unusually small for a guy his age. But surely this sexy young thing would be OK with it, right? He was average...wasn't he?

Chloe swiftly unzipped his fly and yanked down his boxers. Thomas felt a mix of anticipation and dread. The co-ed gasped dramatically and burst into hysterical laughter.

"Oh my god, what is this tiny thing??" she shrieked in between guffaws.

Thomas's face burned red with humiliation. "I...um...it's about average size..." he muttered defensively.

"Average? More like micro-penis!" Chloe mocked, holding the tip between her thumb and forefinger. She pressed her own thumb beside it and giggled uncontrollably. "Look, my thumb is like, the same width! Dude, this is comical!"

Thomas felt his stomach drop as Chloe whips out her phone and snaps a dozen photos, zooming in on his pathetic manhood. "I'm posting this on social media!" she announced gleefully. "My followers are gonna die when they see this 'thumb drive' as I'm gonna call it! Tom Thumb, the smallest dick I've ever seen!"

Mortified, Thomas tried to cover himself but she playfully swatted his hands away. Chloe made a big show of medically examining him, even measuring his length with a ruler (4.25 inches she proclaimed loudly), before sauntering out and leaving him naked and devastated on the couch.

The next morning, Thomas awoke to dozens of notifications on his phone. His face burned as he saw screenshots of his minuscule member plastered all over social media and online forums. Hilarious memes were already circulating.

"Dude you're like infamous now for having a tiny pecker," his buddy texted. "Maybe you should get infrastructure insurance on that thing just in case"

Thomas wanted to die of embarrassment. Chloe had made good on her threat, posting his manhood far and wide. In a matter of hours, he'd gone from a regular guy to a laughing stock, infamous as "Tom Thumb" the micro-dicked meme man.

The days ahead were a living hell. Thomas could barely look his classmates in the eye at his PhD program. Even instructors seemed to be snickering under their breath. He knew he had to do something.

After much contemplation, Thomas decided to embrace his newfound fame. He started an Instagram account as "Tom Thumb" and began posting NSFW selfies and jokey videos that played up his small equipment in a humorous way. To his shock, it quickly went viral! Hundreds, then thousands of followers started flooding in. He was becoming an overnight sensation, but not for the reasons he expected.

Soon, Thomas was fielding DMs daily from young women and couples: "Wow, I never knew a small dick could make me so wet..." "I'd love to see that cute lil' guy in action!" "You're so hot, I don't even care, come over!"

Thomas was stunned. Guess there was something to be said for niche marketing! While it didn't erase the sting of his initial humiliation, he was determined to make the most of his newfound popularity. Maybe being the internet's most famous micro-penis wasn't so bad after all...