The Greatest Minds of Degeneration

"I've gathered you here with an urgent concern, it may be the most critical time in my life, and I need your input. You're the only ones I can count on.... What's a good way of saying 'I love you' that isn't shit?" I ask my newly-converged advisors. I've been racking my brain since Elise left yesterday and I've got nothing. School was torture, Science and PE, both with Elise, still not able to come up with a decent answer. I need help.

"Why are you acting like this is a new concept? I literally asked if you wanted advice yesterday." Rouge points out. That's not the attitude I need from my chief advisor. Trish, Gabriel, and Kara make up the remainder of... The people who were free after school. Look, time is a factor here. We sit around the dining table, where I've provided cans of drink as payment.

Kara looks at me with a concerned expression. "Wait, so your best bet for relationship advice is someone who doesn't even know what her sexuality is, your sister's gay ex-boyfriend, a girl who actively avoids relationships, and the one person with standards low enough to go on a date with Rob? Wow are you screwed." She thinks aloud. Trish and Gabriel seem surprised by Rouge's moniker... I guess they didn't know that part, Kara probably only heard from Rob himself... This is gonna go off-topic fast.

"Not that it's any of your business." Rouge states plainly to the others. "Have you tried just telling her?" She continues.

"Yes. She told me to try harder. Thanks for that one by the way." I answer. Rouge seems genuinely shocked by my response.

"Wow. Didn't think you'd actually do it, or I'd have suggested something better." She admits in an impressed tone. I'm glad to hear how much faith she has in me. "You could recreate your first date?" She suggests. Hey, that's a good idea.

"Nah, it's too soon, you need to do that years after, not a couple of weeks." Trish argues. Rouge tips her head, admitting Trish's point. "You could do the traditional route? You know, flowers, wine, music? Seems like she's into the whole romance aspect." She offers.

You know, for most people, that'd probably work. "We're not exactly a traditional couple." I reply. I mean, even without the lesbian aspect, there's our meeting being so chaotic, and the whole depression spiral thing, and the short timeframe... Yeah, tradition isn't much good here.

"Is now a good time to say I barely know her? What does she like?" Kara inquires. Fair point, it's a lot to ask from newbies to know Elise like I do.

"Well, she loves music, it's her passion, and she doesn't eat meat because she loves animals." I try to explain. "Honestly, it's hard to think of what's relevant. It's the blind leading the blind." I admit, honestly, I'll take any ideas, at the minute my best plan is holding a boombox over my head.

"Aq...m." Gabriel's voice mutters quietly. I'd almost forgot he was here. He seems as surprised as any of us. We all look to him, waiting for him to confirm what he suggested. "Erm... The aquarium? There's a restaurant there... Seems like she'd like the view... It's stupid, never mind." He falters towards the end.

"Gabriel." I state, his eyes drawn to meet my gaze. "Henry's a lucky guy." I praise him, which he seems to enjoy. That's genius, why didn't I think of that?

Rouge clears her throat to break up our excitement. "The aquarium's outside of town, meaning you'd need a lift, plus a reservation, and let's be honest, a place to stay the night. I believe we're working with a budget of... Nothing?" She brings us back down to Earth. Damn it, this is why I hate Monopoly, money just ruins my life. Rouge apparently notices my trepidation, and decides to give me the answer. "But... I do happen to know a certain older brother that owes me a favour, but then you owe me!" She adds with an aggressive point.

Once again, my sister saves my life.

"Aww, you do care underneath it all." Trish jokes, poking Rouge in the arm. Please don't risk the perfect date by angering her. "Now we've sorted that, care to share about your date with Rob?" She continues antagonising her.

"No, care to share why you and Skye were getting so friendly?" She snaps back. This is getting a bit uncomfortable. Can fuck buddies have a lovers' tiff?

"Come on, you know what that's about, she just likes me for my body." Trish retorts with a smirk. I feel like I need to take Gabriel and run, he's too pure for this conversation.

Kara can't hold back a chuckle. "Not what she said." She chimes in with a smirk. Oh Kara... Don't draw their attention.

"Is that right?" Rouge asks, her eyes staring accusingly at Trish.

"Oh please, you're just deflecting because you're after Rob's dick and don't want to admit it." Trish waves away Rouge's fury. "Unless you're breaking rule one?" She asks with a counter-accusation.

Rouge goes silent for a moment. I can see the cogs turning in her head. "No. Just checking if rule three was in effect." She answers. Okay, I don't know what the rules are, but this is the weirdest bureaucracy I've ever witnessed.

"So... You two realise we're still in the room, right?" I try to remind them, Gabriel looks equally lost, and Kara's face is more amused than anything.

"I uh... I should be going anyway." Gabriel says, avoiding eye contact. "Do you want a lift?" He adds to Kara.

"I kinda want to watch more of this soap opera, but yeah, I'll come." She answers honestly. They know even less than me so this must be super confusing... I assume, who knows what happened after I passed out. Gabriel and Kara say their goodbyes as they make their escape.

I look to Rouge and Trish, waiting for the meltdown. "You guys... Want me to leave?" I ask, inching towards the door.

Rouge laughs at my suggestion. "Oh, now you care about modesty? After all that yesterday?" She mocks me. I may have been a tad loud. By a tad, I mean very, Rouge apparently had to turn her headphones up to max to drown me out. And I have apologised. Profusely.

"Want to go upstairs and give her a taste of her own medicine?" Trish asks, with a nudge to Rouge. Wait a minute, weren't they arguing? How are they now ganging up on me?

"Fuck yeah." Rouge concurs, as the duo walk past me and out the door. I miss when I didn't know about their sex life.

Still, planning completed, now to execute the plan... Damn, romance is a lot of organisation.