The Bet

“If I tell you everything and you keep perfectly quiet, you win. But if you make a noise loud enough to make someone turn around and stare at you, I win.”

“You’re really building this up, aren’t you?” she asked. “Okay, what are the stakes?”

“If I win, you talk me up to my girlfriend. You tell her what a gentleman I was, how I gushed all about her and how pretty she looks.”

“Easy. That would all probably happen anyway,” she said. “Okay, what do I get?”

“I’ll give you a compliment.”

“No! I don’t want that.”

“Then you pick.”

“Okay, you’ll owe me a favor.”

“Nothing sexual?”

“Excuse me, mister! Who do you think I am?”

“I’m not quite sure yet,” I admitted.

“Okay, deal. You have me dying of curiosity.”

I took a moment to pretend to think it over. “Okay, if you win an unspecified favor, I want the same.”

“Okay, but only within reason.”

“You’re ready?”

“Yes!”

“Alright,” I said as I leaned over to whisper quietly. “Do not repeat this, because she’s not ready to announce, let alone talk about it, but Josie also has a bun in the oven.”

“No way!”

“She’s only a few months along, so she’s only starting to show, and she’s very self conscious about it.”

“So I was right! Three of the four bridesmaids are pregnant!”

At that moment, all three girls looked over at us and frowned at the sight of Nicole whispering in my ear.

“Holy shit,” Nicole whispered. “They're all really protective of their friend, aren't they?”

“Apparently.”

“So are Sabrina and Jasmine’s baby daddies here?”

“Yeah,” I whispered.

“Well, that’s good! Hey, it looks like I passed. I was perfectly quiet.”

“Oh, I’m not done.”

“Really?” Nicole pulled back to flash me a smile. “I love this so much! Hearing this kind of thing is like Christmas to me! Okay, go ahead.”

“After Jasmine left me, Sabrina and Josie came over to cheer me up.”

“Did it work?”

“If you ever need to cheer up a guy, a threesome is one of the better ways.”

Nicole rolled her eyes. “You wish.”

“As it happens, Sabrina’s baby bump is the result.”

“Bullshit!”

I leaned forward to whisper in her ear. “The girls and my ex stopped being friends with each other because of it, so I convinced them all to make up again with a foursome.”

“You are too much.”

“That’s when I knocked up my ex,” I said. “But Josie was a few months later, which was the only one we actually planned. She didn’t want to be left out.”

“There’s no way!”

Nicole stared at me as I caught Sabrina’s eye and mouthed the words “I love you” to her. She followed my gaze to catch Sabrina return it with a wink.

“Their baby daddies are all here, because they all share the same one,” I said. “I knocked up my ex-girlfriend and her hot friends.”

The redhead’s eyes widened in shock.

“Holy shit!” she said with a dramatic gasp.

Two of the people in the row in front of us turned around to face us.

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

“The bet was you had to talk me up to my girlfriend, but I forgot to specify that means three girls. They’re all self conscious about their bumps, so please tell them nice things about how sexy they look in their little black dresses.”

“You are the luckiest guy I ever met,” she whispered.

“I know,” I said with a grin. “But please be sure to mention that. Sabrina keeps looking over at you like you’re flirting with me.”

“I’m not! This is just the juiciest gossip I’ve ever heard!”

“Are you ready to hear my demand?”

“Umm, no! It’s a favor!”

“Tomato, potato.”

“What?”

“Since I won the bet, my request-”

“This better not be anything sexual!”

“Nicole, look at those three girls up there. You’re very pretty, but does it look like I have any reason to step out on them?”

“No.”

“My request is that you don’t repeat what I told you to anyone. The girls are still self conscious about everything, and if everyone knew their situation, they’d be furious with me.”

“You want me to tell them we didn’t talk about anything?”

“No, I want you not to tell anyone else about their business.”

“You told me the best gossip I’ve heard all year, and now you’re asking me to not tell it to anyone? You’re incredibly cruel!”

I shrugged.

“Alright, fine! But it’s one or the other. Do you want me to talk you up, or do you want to keep all of this to myself?” she asked.

“I need your discretion. After seeing you talking to me, they’re all going to interrogate you about what was said here anyway, and you’re welcome to tell them everything, and that’s when you’ll undoubtedly talk me up to them whether you meant to or not.”

“You’re so sure of yourself, aren’t you?”

“What can I say? I’m in a fourway relationship with three of the hottest girls here.”

“Hey!”

“Don’t worry, Red. You could still make the top five if you make me look good.”