Tell her you work here

As you make your way up to the scantily clad receptionist's desk you decide that if you're going to be successful in uncovering what happened here then you'll need to take some risks. Getting bogged down in an employment process you know nothing about, and which could drag on for a week or more if they need to do **** or background tests, is much more harmful than simply matching wits against the local office eye candy. You decide to put your chips on the table and see where the cards fall.

"Hello, it's my first day here, do you know where I'm supposed to go to get my security clearance?" you ask, not using your name on purpose in the hopes that she gives you one to impersonate. If you're lucky she'll have a name on her list of someone who you can use, at worst you'll just have to convince her there was some kind of clerical mistake. Probably not too much of a stretch if the hiring policies on secretaries are the same as for receptionists...

"Like hi there! Welcome aboard!" the blonde ditz replies in a voice two octaves too high to be pleasant unless you were too busy ogling her tits to notice. You struggle to keep your smile from slipping. "Let's see..." she says, her mouth pouting in what you can only assume to be the utmost concentration while she taps away on her keyboard. "Did you like, go through orientation?" she asks looking up at you with a face that just screams dumb blonde. It's almost enough to make you suspicious she's putting on an act...almost.

"Yes, well...I did but...didn't exactly pay that much attention," you say bashfully, trying to go for something the receptionist could relate to, you'd be willing to bet money that she doesn't pay attention to orientations or company seminars either. You're rewarded for your efforts with a friendly giggle.

"Like, I know right? It's so hard to stay awake during those things! I never make it five minutes before I'm waking up and it's like, totally over!" she says, tapping away at some more keys. Sometimes books _can _be judged by their covers. "Okay, so like you just need to go to HR on floor 8 and give them your name. Then they can find you in the system and tell you what you need to do. Do you still have your key card for the elevator?" she asks sweetly, as though she weren't throwing wrenches into your plans by the dozen.

"Ah...I knew there was something I was forgetting at home. Don't suppose I could get a replacement?" you ask, trying to sound really embarrassed.

"I'm not supposed to..." Julie said, pouting and looking you over...