Talk Privately

I glanced over at Adam. It looked like he was content in his own world. He got what he came for and wasn’t interested in our conversation whatsoever. That didn’t mean I was comfortable talking about this with him sprawled naked on the bed.

“Maybe we should talk about this in private.” It sounded bad. I knew it sounded bad. The way her face fell confirmed it was as bad as I thought. Kaylee nodded, the pretty blue eyes of hers falling away.

“Adam, can you give us a minute?”

“Sure thing,” he said, rolling off the opposite side of the bed. He paused as he stretched, glancing over his shoulder. “Should I get a shower, or you thinking round two?”

Kaylee glanced my way as if she were trying to divine my mood. “Go ahead and take a shower.” I don’t know if it was something she saw in my face, or if she wasn’t interested in another go with Adam. Either way, I was happy to hear it.

My eyes followed Adam as he nonchalantly made his way around the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Seconds later, I heard the shower going. When I turned my attention back to Kaylee, she was on the other side of the bed facing away. It dawned on me what she was doing when I saw her throw a wad of tissues into the nearby wastebasket.

Oh. Right.

At least this gave me much needed time to think. I still didn’t know how to answer her. ‘Yes’ was the obvious answer, but it wasn’t that easy. Nothing ever was with me. I knew how relationships worked. Me being her boyfriend wasn’t going to magically stop her from sleeping with other men. Paige was a prime example of that. I’d only seen her bring her ‘boyfriend’ over a handful of times compared to the countless other guys. What dynamics was Kaylee looking at? I remembered my earlier conversation with her. She had no interest in being with only one man. The idea repulsed her. Made sense. I’d been through the same sex-ed course she had. Hell, civics class hammered the importance of multiple partners in as much as our sex-ed class. It was all part of your ‘civic duty’ they preached.

It was never explicitly said, but I could read between the lines. Women were encouraged to have multiple partners in large part to prevent them from getting overly attached to any one man. Even with an improvement in sex ratios over the past hundred years, there were simply not enough guys to go around. Even less when you consider nearly fifty percent of guys were strictly off-limits when it came to relationships. History was filled with examples of what happened when a few powerful women began hoarding men. Social unrest. Revolution. War.

“Sorry,” Kaylee said, breaking through my thoughts. She still wasn’t looking at me.

“For what?”

“I don’t know what I was thinking—” She half-turned to glance back at me. “Can we forget I even said anything?”

“And the kiss?”

Her face reddened. “Another mistake. I was caught up in the moment.” A lie. Not with the passion she’d put into it. That might have been my first real kiss, but even I could tell that wasn’t a, ‘caught in the moment,” thing. She’d meant it as much as I had. Besides, I’d seen her kiss Sean and even Adam. Neither of them was anywhere near that level.

“Mine wasn’t.” Her eyes widened. It was like she forgot I’d kissed her as well.

I felt lightheaded, butterflies tickling my gut. This was the time. It wasn’t how I’d like it to happen, but that was life.

“I like you, Kaylee. I have for a long time now.” I had almost used the word ‘love,’ which was probably closer to my true feelings for her. That was a bit too intense to start with.

She looked surprised, turning to face me. It made it extremely difficult to concentrate with her naked form in front of me. There was something enticing about the way the light caught the sheen of sweat, making her skin almost shine. The same reason she looked amazing after practice or a game. She made no effort to cover herself either and my eyes kept dipping lower and lower.

“Then…?” There was a spark of hope in her eyes as she watched me expectantly.

“Can you answer something for me?”

“Sure,” she said with a tilt of her head.

“Why me?” The question seemed to catch her off guard. “Guys have been throwing themselves at you for months and you’ve shown no interest. Yet you pick me.”

Her brow furrowed in thought. I wondered if she had even considered it before asking me. Was that a gut reaction, or was she harboring feelings for me?

She finally spoke. “It started with Sean, but tonight confirmed it for me.” Seeing my confusion, she continued. “I’ve had a lot of great sex, but it’s always been…” She hummed as she considered what word to use. “Samey? That night with Sean, with you sitting there watching me… It was like something I’d never experienced before. I felt... I can’t even really describe it. Like never realizing there was a puzzle piece missing until someone walks by and slides the piece into place.” She brushed some matted hair from her face. “At first, I thought it was because it was Sean. He’s been consistently fantastic in bed.”

“Is that why you invited Adam tonight?”

“Yeah.” She glanced past me towards the bathroom. Adam was still in the shower. She lowered her voice. “To be honest, Adam was never that great in bed. Still isn’t.”

“Didn’t seem that way to me,” I muttered. I hadn’t meant for her to hear it, but her eyebrow quirked up.

“Oh, that had nothing to do with him.” Biting her lower lip, her gaze fell slightly. “Two guys, same result. The only thing that stayed the same was you. But I don’t want you to think that’s why I’m asking you to be my boyfriend,” she added quickly. “You are… special. It’s like I’m always thinking about you. When I’m out with the girls shopping, I see something and one of the first things I think of is, ‘Oh. Scott would love this,’ or, “Scott would look great in this.’ ‘Scott, Scott, Scott.’”

She laughed, looking embarrassed. “I know it’s weird. I mean, we haven’t even had sex and here I am asking you out.”

That sealed it for me. Kaylee might not recognize it, but I did. It was the same thing I felt about her. While her thoughts drifted to me, mine drifted to her. It would be difficult, but I was determined to make it work. Somehow. She was worth it.

“Yes,” I said. She gave me a bewildered look. The conversation had drifted quite aways from her original question. “To your question,” I added quickly. “Yes. I’ll be your boyfriend.”

Kaylee threw herself at me, arms wrapping around my neck as she kissed me. For that moment, nothing mattered as I enjoyed her soft lips on mine. She was quite enthusiastic, only breaking a few times for air. Worry began to creep into the back of my mind as she increased the intensity of her kisses. I could feel her tongue against my lips, pressing harder against me. That worry spiked when I felt her hands going for my belt.

Breaking the kiss, I scrambled back. She stared at me, bewildered as she balanced on the edge of the bed.

“We, uh…” My mind seized up at the worst possible time. “We don’t have to,” I finished lamely. I wasn’t expecting this. Not this soon at least.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, tilting her head slightly with a puzzled smile. Oh, man. It was hard not to stare. My body was begging me to go. The leash my mind held was beginning to slip as my eyes trailed over her. In that singular moment, I wanted nothing more than to push her back onto the bed and take her. This was my chance to have her really call my name. It didn’t help that her eyes were begging me to do it. Kaylee had never looked at me like that before and it made my body feel light.

My foot took a half-step towards her, heart racing as my emotions overtook reason. My body was in control now, and it wanted her more than anything. A few more steps and—

I froze as my eyes drifted lower than the blond patch of hair between her legs. Cum ran along her leg, remnants of the man she had been with not five minutes ago. It was enough to shock my mind back into gear, grabbing a hold of the leash once more. It pulled back with all it’s might, reining my lecherous thoughts back under control.

What was I thinking? If I slept with her now… I mentally shook myself. I wasn’t Adam. Or Sean. Or any of the other guys she’d been with. Pregnancy was a real possibility and I certainly wasn’t going to ask for a condom. Not only did she probably not have one, but that question would end in one of two ways. Either she’d start asking why we needed it, or she’d get pissed I wanted one. Even I knew it was a social no-no for guys to ask to use one.

Oh, God. Those eyes. I could already feel the strain on my mind as my desires fought to free themselves.

“What’s wrong?” She had sensed the shift in me. For a moment, I had lost myself in the moment. This wasn’t something I could do flying by the seat of my pants. I needed time to think.

Numbers floated through my head. Bugs, animals, whatever I thought would help kill the painful erection straining against my pants. Clenching my thighs, I slowly felt the pressure fade. I resisted the urge to sigh in relief. That was probably the fastest I’d ever managed to get rid of a boner. Not sure if I should be proud or frightened.

“I uh…” I needed to buy myself some time. My mind snatched the first thing that sprouted. “Kaylee, I actually have a small confession to make.”

She sat back on her legs, watching me. I could already feel the blood charging back. Focus now. “Okay…”

“It’s a bit embarrassing but… I don’t have…” My eyes fell away, looking at the floor. I don’t have what? What the hell was I even saying? My mind scrambled. I needed something. An excuse as to why we needed to wait.

She let out a long breath, running a hand through her hair. “I knew it.” I looked up, fear causing my lungs to freeze. “You have no sex drive.” Shocked, I stared at her. What did I say to that? “Wow. I can’t believe… Everything makes so much sense! For the longest time, I’ve wondered why we’d never had sex. Why you never seemed interested in me that way. You never talk about sex or look interested in it, and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable...”

This wasn’t what I wanted. I mean, it worked in its own twisted way, but this seemed extreme. I did want to have sex with Kaylee. The desire burned just under my skin, threatening to consume me completely. I had wanted this for so long, I didn’t even care that she had been with Adam not long ago. The only thing that kept me in place was the utter terror that I would fuck everything up. Kaylee would get pregnant with a child she didn’t want yet. The DNA test would point to me. Testing would show my true rank. I’d never see Kaylee again, shoved into some lab to be poked and prodded while forced to impregnate an endless line of women like some prized horse. My parents would end up in prison. The media would tear Paige and Elisabeth’s lives apart.

The problem was I couldn’t think of anything else that would give me an out.

“Y-yeah,” I said, shoulders slumping in defeat. This was a disaster. Once more, I cursed my fate. This wasn’t fair. None of it was. It was like fighting a colossal struggle to summit a mountain, only to find it wasn’t the summit and there was a more treacherous climb ahead.

I was surprised when bare feet entered my view. Looking up, I caught the sight of her bare skin before she wrapped me in a tight embrace.

“This doesn’t change how I feel about you,” she said softly. Pulling back slightly, she looked up at me with a smile. A blush darkened her cheeks. “I’ll admit that I’ve been hoping we’d have sex for a long time, but that doesn’t matter.” Reaching up, she brushed her hand against my face. It was warm and oddly comforting. “I still want you to be my boyfriend.”

“I want to have sex with you,” I blurted out. A mental kick was in order. “Just…”

Her hands fell down to grab mine. Looking up, she gave me a radiant smile as she gave my hands a soft squeeze. “We’ll figure it out together. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

I forced a smile. Well, I’d wanted time, and I got it. Be careful what you wish for.

She kissed me briefly on the lips. “Let me get dressed. You can take me home.”

Keeping myself calm while she gathered her clothes and put them back on was one of the hardest things I’d done. Keeping my boner down involved a lot of math problems and forcing my eyes to look at anything but the gorgeous girl in front of me.

Not any girl.

My girlfriend.

I had to look on the bright side. Yes, this wasn’t how I wanted this to go, but I was in a better position than I was at the beginning of the day. Kaylee admitted she had feelings for me, and she was now my girlfriend. I’d been hoping to be right where I was for so long, now that I was, I had no idea where to go next.

But I was on the inside, so to speak. I didn’t have the answers right now, but tomorrow was a new day.

Dressed, Kaylee grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the door.

“Come on,” she said with an infectious smile.

“What about Adam?”

She blinked as if she’d completely forgotten about him. “Oh, right!” Pulling out her phone, I looked over her shoulder. Opening the app, Adam’s face was the first thing I saw. Looked like she had already linked with him. Without hesitating, she tapped the star rating. Five stars appeared before she confirmed it and closed the app. Seeing me looking, she grinned. “He may not be that great in bed, but he did help us tonight.”

I nodded as she linked her arm with mine. That wasn’t what I meant, but if that’s how she wanted to end the night, I wasn’t going to complain. Pressing herself tightly against me, I found myself smiling.

This wasn’t exactly how I wanted things to turn out, but I couldn’t deny I was already enjoying the perks.