TROLL! Troll in the Bathroom!

“T… T-t… troll!” Millicent stammered.

“What?” you gasped as a low feeling of dread began to fill your stomach.

“That’s impossible,” Granger insisted. “Hogwarts has all sorts of protections on it. There’s no way a troll could get in.”

“Are you calling me a liar?” Millicent challenged her. “There’s a twelve foot mountain troll with a club coming down the hallway!”

“Hurry and lock the door!” you urged her.

Millicent drew her wand and attempted to cast the Locking Charm that you had learned from Professor Flitwick. “Colloportus!” She tried the door but it didn’t lock. “It didn’t work!”

“You got the wand movements wrong,” Granger was quick to point out. “It’s four swishes: right, down, left, then down again.”

“That’s what I did,” the Slytherin girl argued.

“No, you did left, down, right, down,” the Gryffindor girl insisted as she rushed over to help. “That’s backwards. It’s right, down, left, down.”

“I heard you the first time,” Millicent snapped as she attempted to cast the spell again. “Collo-” However the door was pushed in by a massive fist before she could finished it.

“AAAAHHH!” Both girls screamed in terror as the huge, twelve foot troll began to push its way through the doorway. The Gryffindor and Slytherin girl both ran back across the bathroom to where you were still standing and backed against the stalls.

The mountain troll was truly a horrifying sight. Its skin was a dull, granite gray, its great lumpy body like a boulder with its small bald head perched on top like a coconut. It had short legs thick as tree trunks with flat, horny feet. The smell coming from it was incredible. It was holding a huge wooden club, which dragged along the bathroom floor with its enormously long arms as it advanced on the three of you.

You drew your own trusty horned serpent horn core wand and cast your best spell. “FLIIIPENDO!” BANG! The purple light from your charged Knockback Jinx washed off of the troll’s lumpy gray skin and it merely took a step back before it continued to advance on you. Now it began to use its club to smash the sinks that were on the wall as it went.

“That won’t work!” Millicent warned you. “Troll hide is known for being highly resistant to most spells! You need to go for a weak spot like the eyes!"

“I’ll try it,” you resolved. You glanced at Granger who frozen and staring in silent terror at the menacing troll. “Get her out of the way.” You took a couple steps to the side. The only other spell you could think of that would work on a troll was the Stinging Jinx that Professor Quirrell had taught you. You told yourself that you would never use the charged hex version on a living breathing person. But a monstrous troll that was out to kill you seemed like a good exception. You jabbed your wand out and twisted it. “PUNGO!”

Your aim rang true and the white light shot from your wand and hit the troll’s beedy right eye.

The troll howled in pain and clasped its hand over its injured eye. When it lowered its hand you saw that its right eye had swelled shut.

“You just made it angry!” Millicent exclaimed.

The seriously pissed off mountain troll roared and raised its club as it started to charge you. Thanks to Marcus Flint’s tyrannical Quidditch practices you were fairly used to troll-like people charging at you. Actually, now that you were faced with a real troll you realized that all those insults were majorly over-exaggerated. Marcus Flint was barely half the size of a real troll. But if there was one major thing you had learned from your practices with Flint -- IT WAS HOW TO DODGE!

You dove to the side and rolled across the floor as the troll smashed its club into the toilet stall that had been behind you and demolished it. But the troll was still standing and still furious. You realized too late that your dive and roll had only brought you closer to where Hermione and Millicent were standing by the wall opposite the smashed sinks. The troll turned and was once again advancing on you.

And that was when Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Neville Longbottom came running in through the bathroom door. Not exactly the reinforcements you were hoping for.

“Confuse it!” Harry said desperately to Ron and Neville as he grabbed a broken sink tap and threw it at the wall opposite you.

The troll stopped in front of you and winked stupidly with its one good eye as it lumbered around and searched for the source of the noise. It spotted Harry and made for him instead.

“Come on, run, run!” Neville yelled out as he ran over to you and grabbed Hermione by the arm. But she wouldn’t move. She was standing flat against the wall with her eyes wide open in terror.

The troll spotted the movement and turned towards them.

“Oi, pea-brain!” Ron yelled from the other side of the chamber as he grabbed a broken bit of pipe and threw it at the troll. The troll didn’t even seem to notice the pipe hitting its shoulder, but it heard the yell and paused again, turning it ugly snout toward Ron instead.

“Damn it! Move it, Granger!” Millicent didn’t have Longbottom’s patience for dealing with Granger so she hauled the terrified muggleborn away from the wall and began to drag her towards the door.

The shouting and the echoes seemed to be driving the half-blind troll berserk. It roared again and started back towards you, the one who had stung its bad eye.

Harry then did something that was both very brave and very stupid: He did an impressive running leap and managed to fasten his arms around the twelve-foot troll’s neck from behind. The troll couldn’t feel the thirteen-year-old boy hanging off his back but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry’s wand had still been in his hand when he’d jumped -- it had gone straight up one of the troll’s nostrils.

Howling with pain, the troll twisted and flailed its club, with Harry clinging on for dear life. Any second, the troll would rip him off or catch him with a terrible blow with the club.

You acted upon Harry’s distraction and cast another spell. This time targeting the troll’s loincloth like trousers. “Incendio!”

The troll was half-blind and rather slow but it definitely noticed when its clothing started burning. It dropped its club and began to frantically beat at the growing flames on its loincloth. The frantic troll spun and Harry finally lost his hold and went flying off the troll’s back… right into you. You and the Boy-Who-Lived fell to the ground in a heap as the troll continued to howl in alarm.

“What is it with you and lighting people on fire?” Harry demanded as he rolled off you. It sounded like he was still sore about you setting Ron on fire during your midnight duel.

“Okay, first of all, that’s a troll -- not a person,” you defended yourself. “And second, it’s trying to kill us! I’d say the situation calls for it!”

The troll finally managed to beat out the flames on its loincloth and rounded on you and Harry. This time you aimed for the other eye as you jabbed your wand out and twisted it. “PUNGO!” The troll let out an even louder howl of pain and actually staggered backward as its other eye swelled shut from your Stinging Hex.

“Remember it’s swish and flick…” you heard Hermione call out to Ron from by the door.

Ron swished and flicked his wand and called out a spell, “Wingardium Leviosa!”

The club, which the now blind troll had dropped on the ground to put out the flames on its tunic, flew and rose high, high up into the air, turned slowly over -- and dropped with a sickening crack onto its owner’s head. The blind troll swayed on the spot and then fell flat on its face, with a thud that made the whole room tremble.

“Did you just kill it?” Millicent asked.

“I don’t think so,” said Harry, “I think it’s just been knocked out.” He went over to the troll and bent down to pull his wand out of its nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue. “Ugh -- troll bogeys.” He wiped his wand off on the troll's burned loincloth.

A sudden slamming and loud footsteps made all of you look up. The troll had been making a racket with all of its roars and howls and had drawn attention. Professor McGonagall came bursting into the room, closely followed by Professor Snape, with Professor Quirrell bringing up the rear. Professor Quirrell took one look at the troll, let out a faint whimper, and sat quickly down on the toilet, clutching his heart.

Professor Snape cast a quick glance at the troll then rounded on you and Millicent. “Gaunt! What the devil were you thinking?”

Those menacing tunnel-like eyes were locked on you as you began your explanation. “Er… professor, Millicent and I went looking for Granger after Professor McGonagall shooed us away from the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. There’s no rule against visiting the bathroom during a feast, is there? We had no idea there was a troll in the castle until Millicent saw it coming down the hallway. We all tried to take shelter in the bathroom but the troll got in before we could seal the door.”

Professor McGonagall looked at Harry, Ron, and Neville. You’d never seen her so angry. Her lips were pursed so tightly that they had turned white. There was cold fury in her voice. “And why aren’t you three in your dormitory?”

You decided to speak up in the Gryffindor trio’s defense, “If it’s all the same to you, Professor McGonagall, I’m quite glad that Potter, Weasley, and Longbottom showed up. The troll had us cornered and they arrived just in time to keep it from finishing us off.”

“We didn’t know they were here,” Harry admitted, “But we came to warn Hermione since she didn’t know about the troll.”

“We tried to tell Percy but he was too busy bossing everyone else around,” Ron added.

“The troll was supposed to be in the dungeon,” Neville chimed in, “But by the time we got here it was already in the bathroom. We heard it smashing things so we ran in to help.”

“It was my fault Hermione was crying in the bathroom in the first place,” Ron reminded her. “You just finished telling us that Gryffindors need to look after each other. That’s what we were doing.”

Professor Snape bent over the troll while Professor McGonagall surveyed the six of you. “And just how did six thirteen-year-olds manage to knock out a fully grown mountain troll?”

“Actually, it's five thirteen-year-olds and one fourteen-year-old,” you felt the need to impart. “Granger told me her birthday was back in September and that none of her housemates noticed. So now that we’ve ensured that she’ll live to see her next one, I hope you lot will do better next year.”

Hermione squeaked and looked down while Harry, Ron, and Neville gave a wide-eyed expression that told you they had absolutely no idea.

“Thank you for being so informative, Mr. Gaunt,” Professor McGonagall crisply responded. Either she was really mad at you... or she was taking the failings of her house personally. Maybe both since you were the one who kept pointing them out. “An explanation. About the troll. Now.”

“Right, of course,” you hastily agreed. “We used teamwork and inter-house cooperation. Millicent warned me that trolls were resistant to spells after my initial Knockback Jinx didn’t work. She advised me to go for the eyes so I managed to blind it with a Stinging Hex.”

You glanced over at Professor Quirrell who had seemingly gotten over his panic attack and was now listening to your story intently. Not that anyone else seemed to notice.

“But that just made it angry,” you continued, “Like I said before, it had us cornered when Potter, Weasley, and Longbottom showed up. Potter and Weasley distracted it by throwing things while Longbottom and Millicent got Granger to the door. But before I could get by, it remembered that I was the one who blinded it and it charged me. Potter did this huge jump onto its back and stuck his wand up its nose and then I set its loincloth on fire. It dropped its club to beat the flames out then Granger reminded Weasley about the Levitation Charm which he used to float the troll’s club over its head and knock it out.”

Everyone was silent for a moment. Professor McGonagall surveyed all of you and the fallen troll which you noticed now had a large lump on its head. Eventually, she spoke.

“I want to impress upon each of you how fortunate you were to have survived this encounter,” the Deputy Headmistress stated. “Not many first years could have taken on a full-grown mountain troll and lived to tell the tale. That being said… I’m awarding you each five points.” She saw Millicent’s shocked expression which mirrored yours. “Yes, you and Mr. Gaunt too, Miss Bulstrode. I appreciate you two stepping in to help my students. And Mr. Weasley, those ten points I took from you earlier still stand. If it weren’t for you upsetting Miss Granger, you could have all been safe in your dormitories with the rest of the students. I suspect that you have something to say to Miss Granger?”

“Right…” Ron said quietly. “Hermione… I’m sorry about what I said after Charms class. I was frustrated and I said things that were stupid. I know that you were trying to help. I’m… glad that you’re in Gryffindor. And I’m… grateful that these two Slytherins were here to keep you from getting hurt.”

Wow. The stubborn git Ron Weasley just apologised. Whatever Professor McGonagall had said to him after you left the Gryffindor table must have really made an impression.

“Thank you... for coming...” Hermione said quietly.

“Now that that’s settled...” the Transfiguration professor resolved. “Severus, I’ll be taking my lions back to Gryffindor Tower. I’ll leave sorting out your snakes to you. Quirinus, keep an eye on the troll. I’ll send word to the Headmaster to come and help you remove it.”

You all followed the Deputy Headmistress out of the bathroom and were greeted by another odd sight as Percy Weasley came running down the hallway with two older Gryffindor prefects behind him and the Gryffindor ghost Nearly Headless Nick floating beside them.

“Professor!” Percy Weasley exclaimed. “As soon as we got back to the tower, the first years told me that Hermione Granger was missing in a girls’ bathroom and that my brother and his friends Potter and Longbottom went to warn her about the troll.”

“I’m aware of that, Mr. Weasley,” Professor McGonagall replied as she stepped aside to reveal all of you first years behind her. “That is precisely why I came straight to this bathroom to find Miss Granger once we determined that the troll had left the dungeon.”

Ron seemed shocked that his brother had amassed a search party to come looking for them. Harry and Neville's attention was also on the newly arrived prefects and ghost.

So while no one was looking, you placed a hand on Granger’s shoulder and whispered to her. “And you thought you didn’t belong here. Do you see how much of a commotion you stir up because you were missing during a crisis?”

“Thank you,” Hermione said as she grabbed your hand and gave it a light squeeze. “And thank you again for everything you said earlier.”

But apparently, you hadn't been paying enough attention because when you pulled your hand away you saw that both Professor Snape and Millicent were watching you. Your fellow first year looked annoyed but your Head of House’s expression was unreadable.

You all split up. Professor McGonagall sent Nearly Headless Nick off to fetch the Headmaster and led the Gryffindors back to their tower while Professor Snape guided you and Millicent back to the Slytherin dungeon.

But along the way you noticed your Head of House limping. “Professor Snape, what’s wrong with your leg? Are you alright? Did the troll get you?”

“No, and it’s none of your business, Gaunt,” was his curt reply. You still couldn’t help but wonder what had happened. Professor Snape was terrifying. What could have possibly hurt him if it wasn't the troll? Speaking of the troll...

“I was also wondering how the troll got in the castle,” you added, “It just tried to kill us so I think maybe that is my business. I can’t imagine that it snuck in since trolls are supposed to be notoriously stupid.”

“The troll was already in the castle,” Professor Snape informed you. “Professor Quirrell acquired it for his N.E.W.T. Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Professor Kettleburn requested that he keep it so he could show it to his Care of Magical Creatures class as well. They were housing it in a large storeroom in the dungeons and it appears as though the spells Professor Quirrell was using to keep it secured failed which is how it got loose.”

You looked over at Millicent, “You already seemed to know a fair bit about trolls before it came in the bathroom. Maybe Care of Magical Creatures could be your best subject?”

“You think so?” Millicent asked. She still seemed to be in shock over the fact that you had not only survived an encounter with a mountain troll but also that Professor McGonagall had actually given you both house points for it.

“I’ll sign up to take it with you in third year,” you were quick to offer. “Maybe we can rope the rest of the Slytherin first years into taking the class with us.”

“Perhaps you should focus on surviving until third year,” Professor Snape snidely advised. “You weren’t breaking any rules when you left the feast. And I’m not going to condemn you for successfully managing to defend yourselves and your fellow students. Minerva saw fit to reward you for your actions so who am I to dispute her? But if I find that either of you has run off to play hero during a crisis like those three Gryffindors did… I’ll see to it that you are expelled so that there will never be a repeat performance. Is that clear?”

“Yes sir!” you both chorused. Now that the troll was dealt with, Professor Snape was back to being the most terrifying thing in Hogwarts.

“By the way, Marvolo,” Millicent spoke up again after a moment. “Since you went off on the Gryffindors for it before... and since it turns out I’m actually going to live to see it, my birthday’s November fourteenth. I met most of the other first year Slytherins before Hogwarts so they likely know. But I just met you in September so I thought I’d tell you.”

“That doesn’t give me much time, but I should be able to pull something together,” you reasoned. “Thank you for telling me. Mine’s January first.”

You made it back to the Slytherin Common Room and were accosted by Prefect Farley almost as soon as the door opened.

“Professor, you found them!” Gemma exclaimed as she yanked you and Millicent inside. “Did the Bloody Baron give you my message that two of our first years were missing?”

“I must have just missed him,” Professor Snape replied. “As you can see, the situation has already been dealt with. A wise decision to stay in the common room instead of running out like that fool Weasley did when he learned that four Gryffindor first years were missing.”

“And… the troll?” Gemma inquired.

“These two miscreants ran afoul of the troll in a bathroom,” Professor Snape informed her. “Fortunately, they survived and the troll was subdued. See to it that they do not leave the common room for the remainder of the night. I have other matters to attend to.”

Professor Snape limped off and the entrance to the common room closed behind him.

“They had food sent to the dorm so we could all finish the feast here,” Gemma explained. She pointed out a large table that had been set with various trays, plates, and silverware. But standing in front of the table was Daphne Greengrass. You found her intense expression immensely unsettling.

“Not so fast,” the dark-haired first year nearly growled. “I heard what Professor Snape said. These two won’t eat a bite until they explain what happened with Granger, the Gryffindors, and the troll.… in excruciating detail!”

You looked to Gemma for help but found none. “I’m rather curious about that as well.”

Daphne grabbed you by the arm and dragged you over to one of the couches where the rest of your fellow first years were sitting. You were all but thrown down on the couch while Millicent was at least allowed to sit down on her own volition. Daphne sat on the couch across from you with Pansy and Tracey. The latter of which was looking at her friend in surprise.

“She’s been worked up ever since you walked out of the Great Hall without telling her anything,” the blonde half-blood commented. “But I’ve never seen her like this.”

“That’s because these two and some of the Gryffindors ran into the troll!” Daphne snapped.

“And you’re both still alive?” Blaise asked.

“No, we’re ghosts,” you retorted. “Our plan is to have all of the school’s bathrooms haunted by year’s end.”

“Enough stalling!” Draco snapped. “What happened!?”

The room went quiet and you noticed that even some of the seventh years seemed interested in hearing about your encounter with the troll. As the dramatic person that Ollivander predicted you were going to be, you decided to use this as an opportunity to further bolster your standing in Slytherin.

Millicent seemed unnerved to have everyone’s attention on her so you took the lead and capped off an eventful Halloween by regaling all of Slytherin house with the terrifying tale. You recounted how you had gone to find Granger in the bathroom, been attacked by a twelve-foot mountain troll, worked with four Gryffindors to fell the massive beast, and finally how the anti-Slytherin Professor McGonagall had awarded you both five points for the impressive feat. It was a miraculous story that would have made Gilderoy Lockhart proud.

Being a ‘troll slayer’ boosted your standing in Slytherin even more than joining the Quidditch team. For the next week, you and Millicent were practically royalty.

Hermione Granger also appeared to benefit from the troll encounter. Because from that day on Granger, Potter, Weasley, and Longbottom were all friends. You weren’t sure if Granger had told her new friends what you had said to her. But at the very least your actions in aiding them against the troll had won you some points with the Gryffindor gang. Taking on a troll seemed to be the sort of thing that brought people together.

Marvolo Gaunt House Point Ledger

Minerva McGonagall: +5

New Total: +46

Points awarded by: SS, RH, QQ, MM