Sweet and Bittersweet

I've never drank before.

Like, ever.

I never avoided it or anything, but it's not like I was going to do shots with my Mum, you can drink at 18, but why bother if no one's there to drink with?

"Don't worry, I figured you wouldn't bring any, feel free to have some of mine!" Trish's voice snaps me out of my shock, followed by a matching offer from Elise.

Rouge decides to drop the bombshell on my behalf. "She's an **** virgin." She states blankly. Well, that's one way to put it. If she's known about me for a while then she's been unusually tactful, given that's the level of reverence I usually get.

"Oh, you want to go with the wine then!" Trish admits, taking a seat in a recliner next to Elise's side of the sofa, who nods in agreement. "Spirits will blow your head off if you don't know how to drink them."

How reassuring.

"First thing's first though, we need to sort out food. Can't drink on an empty stomach, any preferences?" Elise states, looking around for suggestions. She's met with an unsurprising silence, not like anyone else was sensible enough to think of it. "Pizza it is!" She concludes, reaching for a menu out of the bottom of the coffee table next to her, the angle means her arse is pointing directly at me. Okay, I might have noticed, but I didn't stare! And that's what matters.

Organising pizza is always a fun task, but other than Elise being a vegetarian (Learned that today) and Rouge getting a couple of bottles of soda for mixing, it's surprisingly simple. I think my anxieties are turning everything into a hurdle.

"It'll be about half an hour, might as well get started while we wait!" Trish decides, apparently forgetting Elise's previous statement, pouring herself a glass and taking a sip. "Roz recommended this bottle, she's not fancy, but she knows taste." She explains with a satisfying sigh. I briefly glance to Rouge who has followed Trish's lead and has begun drinking. Trish does remember that she wasn't there yesterday, right? Trish apparently takes note of this. "Oh, don't worry, Rouge has known for ages!"

"I thought it was a big secret?" Elise responds with a confused face.

"Not a secret for customers." Rouge states flatly. Wait. Did she just say what I think she did?

"She comes in every now and again, even talked me down from quitting the first time she found out." Trish clarifies, "It's why I went to her with the video, I knew she'd know how to handle it."

Rouge frequents sex shops. I did not need this information. I could have gone my entire life without this information. Rouge apparently notices how this is deeply disturbing for me and decides to help.

"For Lingerie. Mostly. At first." She stated harshly. Did I say help? I meant make it way, way worse. At least it made Elise laugh, who clearly enjoyed my plight. Et tu, Elise?

"Aww, look at that face" She giggles, staring at my now blushing cheeks. I guess it's more obvious when I blush now my make-up doesn't hide it. "Is is that bad? I thought sisters talked about this stuff?" Probably. Other sisters. Not us.

No solo runs.

I guess that goes both ways. What am I freaking out about exactly? I already knew Rouge was sexually active, at least with herself. Clearly she's comfortable talking about it. I'm being a bitch. She's my sister, but if she's going to be my friend too then I can't just whitewash her like that. It's probably upsetting her, it'd upset me.

"Not usually, but if I knew she was going I'd have asked her to pick me up some stuff!" I joke, drawing a snort from Elise. I turn to see Rouge's reaction, she's... Hiding her smile? Her usual smirk isn't so subtle, why is she-

And then Rouge bursts out laughing. A lot. I've genuinely never seen her find something so funny. "I'm sorry!" She gets out between giggles. Apologising. Also a first. "I wasn't expecting that! I got the image of casually tossing dildos in a trolley. Couldn't help it!" Oh my God. She's a person. She's an actual person. And a goofy one. What an idiot. I love her.

"Oh, you think that doesn't happen?" Trish joins in the laughter, "Some people come in and buy crates of them! Whole crates! What's the need?" Even I can't help but giggle at the thought, but Elise's grin hides and explanation.

"Porn." She wagers. "I bet it's porn. That stuff has people using them all the time, they probably just buy new ones instead of washing them." She continues with a snicker, content in her educated guess.

"But how would a sweet, innocent girl like you know what goes on in porn?" Rouge retorts, her fits of giggles slowly forming her signature smug grin. This question was apparently not the one Elise was expecting, as she stammers and stutters to try and reply before Trish dives in to save her.

"Leave her be, nothing wrong with enjoying some classics!" She answers, calming the now blushing girl. "But in all seriousness, if I put a film on out of that cabinet what are the odds it's hardcore fucking?" Immediately making Elise hide her face from embarrassment and laughter.

The roast of Elise Monroe comes to a grinding halt as the doorbell rings, seeing as her laughing fit has left her without the ability to open her eyes, let alone talk to the delivery driver, Trish and Rouge go to the door to get it. Leaving me with a still hiding Elise.

"Come on! You can't hide forever!" I joke, gently shoving her. "I warn you, I'm gonna steal all of your wine!"

This elicits an immediate response. "That's not happening." States Elise, picking up a nearby bottle and pouring us each a glass. "If I'm going to be picked on, I'm not doing it sober!" Damn, should've thought of that one years ago. "À ta santé" She adds, raising a glass and clinking it against the one she places in my hand. Moment of truth.

I take a sip and it's strong, harsh, it almost feels hot on my tongue, despite being cold.

"I kinda like it" I admit, taking another sip. All that build-up? Seems anticlimactic.

"You started without us?" Trish's voice rings out as her and Rouge return with the food.

"You've been drinking for ages!" I respond, stating the obvious.

"Yeah, but I wanted to see your face when you tasted it!" She answers, passing one of the pizzas to Elise.

"Nothing to see." She answers for me. "She drinks like a pro, I'm worried we don't have enough in the cellar!" Elise should be worried, this stuff tastes better with each sip.

We keep drinking while we eat, and eventually the conversation turns from **** to our excursion the previous day, catching Rouge up with what we talked about and came home with.

"Did you try them yet?" Trish asks, her curiosity apparently more powerful than social boundaries.

"Not yet..." I respond truthfully, still feels weird saying this around Rouge, but she's part of the gang now, I'm not going to exclude her. "Haven't really had time" I explain nonchalantly.

"Same, I had a look, but been to busy to check it out" Elise agrees, finishing off the last slice of her pizza.

"Oh, trust me, those things, it doesn't take much time!" Trish jokes. I think. She's joking, right? I mean, how effective can they be?

"Maybe that's just you." Mocks Rouge, taking a swig of her drink. "Guys tend not to last long, maybe you've got a boy's stamina." She adds, leading all of us to come to the same conclusion.

"So you've..." Elise begins and trails off, Rouge waits for her to finish but grows impatient and finishes the sentence for her.

"I've had sex, yes. It's not that uncommon. It's you three that can't socialise for shit" She teases, pulling her legs up onto her chair to sit cross-legged. "Honestly, you two I understand." She continues, gesturing to me and Trish. "But you've got a long-term boyfriend, haven't you?" She asks Elise. Is this her idea of helping? Elise turns to her, a surprised look on her face.

"I do?" She asks. Yes, Elise, you do. Don't you?

"According to your online page, yeah, Pierre?" Rouge answers, unsure of the confusion. Elise's expression turns from surprise to realisation to embarrassment in a flash.

"Oh! No! No, that's something else. We are not like that. Definitely not!" Elise stammers each word making less and less sense until she takes a moment to compose herself. "I was his beard." She explains, but that means. "He's gay, he didn't want to come out to his parents, so we pretended to be a couple so he could sneak around. I meant to change it when I moved, I must have forgot."

They're not a couple.

Suck it Pierre!

That's harsh, I don't know him.

Only suck it if you want to Pierre!

What am I on about?

Did Rouge know this? Is that why she asked? Her record of being right about things would say yes, but her surprised expression says no.

Trish breaks the silence. "Hmm, I know someone who did something similar, ended up falling for the guy. It ended badly." She's talking about Jenny, I guess, really gotta stop feeling bad for my bullies, it makes hating them harder.

"Oh, never with us!" Elise responds in an almost offended manner. "I mean, we kissed once at a party before he told me, but after that, purely platonic." He got to kiss her. Lucky motherfucker. Seriously, why do I keep ragging on Pierre after finding out he's not involved? I look to Rouge, who meets my stare with that self-assured smirk. She's come to the same conclusion that I have: I don't have any excuses anymore.

That's what she thinks, cowardice is all the excuse I need.

Her eyes tell me that's not going to be an option much longer.