Stuffing it back in, and Stuart is offended

Stuart grabbed his crotch dramatically. "With all the people tugging on this bad boy, trying to get its undivided attention, it's no wonder it can't decide which direction to go."

"And is Gary one of those who has been tugging on the -- what did you call it -- the Starship Stuart -- to make it go his way?" asked Laura.

Stuart started to answer, but then checked himself before he pushed Gary too far, whatever the truth of the matter. He looked at Gary and said, "I think I'll let Gary answer that... I'm feeling a bit fatigued from the toil of being so incredibly awesome today."

Laura looked at Gary expectantly.

Gary **** a laugh and said, "Mostly I'm stuffing it back in his pants. You'd think at his age he'd-a-learned."

"Please!" Stuart said. "I'm that many years more perfect in my awesomeness!" Stuart's face did in fact show the signs of years spent on sunny beaches. "I take this poor hodaddy under my wing to show him the finest things in life. And how to use them." Stuart squeezed his crotch again. "I trust him to look after my van and what thanks do I get? I think I'll have a heart attack right now!" Stuart shook and staggered on his feet, screwing up his face in a grimace, and finally falling to the floor of Laura's apartment in a quivering heap.

Laura dropped to her knees beside Stuart. "Are you okay? Can you hear me?" she asked in the dutiful first aid responder's litany.

Stuart looked at Laura through tight-slitted eyes as her boobs bounced inches from his nose.