Stop!

I stopped. What was I doing? Shana didn't want this. I pulled out of her immediately.

"Shana. I'm sorry. Are you alright?"

"No. That really hurt!"

"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I was just...overcome with raw lust, I guess."

"I think we should stop this. It was a bad idea," she said nervously. She pulled a blanket over herself and looked at me carefully. She didn't think....

"Shana? Are you.." I hesitated, fearing the answer. "Are you afraid of me?" She didn't have to say anything. I could tell she was, and it broke my heart.

"I think you should go home. Your family is probably worried about you."

I tried to appologize again, but I knew she was right. I got dressed and left.

She didn't invite me back. We still hung out some, but not nearly as often. And more than once I saw that she was carrying a knife in her pocket. Now everytime I see her, I feel nothing but remorse and now my desire to have sex with her has been replaced with desire to be like we were. Even though I know we can't be.