Special

The ceiling was spinning.

Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was just her heart. Or her thoughts. Or the whole world.

Or the tequila.

Juniper was aware of her situation. Yes, she'd had a lot to drink, but drunk or sober, she felt what she felt. Nobody in this world could convince her that her love for Joey wasn't true. It was the truest thing she'd ever felt.

It was also the most painful.

Lying back on the bed, surrounded by all these fucking girls, she wanted to scream. Or maybe cry. She didn't know what she wanted. Were these the girls who were Joey's girlfriends? If so, what the fuck was her mom doing in the room with them, dressed like that. Normally she would be demanding answers, but her heartache, or maybe the booze, had diminished her capacity, allowing her grief over her situation to enfold her.

He'd touched her, carried her up the stairs. Her brother. Her love. Yes, that Black chick from the kitchen helped too, but who cares about her. She was probably into him too, so fuck her. Fuck them all.

Her face felt sticky—had she cried? She must've. Her stomach hurt like it did when she was little and felt like no one liked her. Like she didn't matter. Something she hadn't felt in a long time.

Had she said it out loud? Had she actually said it? In front of her mother? In front of these women?

In front of Joey?

I love him! I have to have him!

There was no taking it back. Not now. Not ever. She hadn't meant to say it—not really. But also? She had. It was true. So true it felt like it was leaking out of her skin. And Mom—Mom had looked at her like she'd grown horns. Like she was some freak. As if her mother wasn't standing in a room with her two kids dressed like the cover of a porno mag.

"It's perverse," Mom had said. "You have to stop."

Juniper had wanted to scream. To throw something. To disappear. Her mother was right, but it didn't matter. Not at all.

But then… Joey had stepped forward.

He looked—God, why did he have to look so amazing? All messy hair and narrow shoulders and that same dumb expression he used to make when he was twelve and lied about brushing his teeth. And now, looking at him, her whole chest ached.

He was so beautiful. How had she never seen it?

And then he spoke.

"Um… actually…"

Juniper blinked. The world stopped spinning, just for a moment.

"…I'm just really special. And because I'm so special, Juniper and I are allowed to be together, just like I am with the rest of you."

Time collapsed in on itself.

Juniper stared at him, and something shifted inside her. Like a loose puzzle piece suddenly clicking into place. Her stomach stopped hurting. Her vision sharpened. And in that one perfect, burning instant—she understood.

"I'm just really special."

It was so true. It wasn't just that Juniper was in love with him, it was that he deserved it! Joey was special. So very special. Unique, distinct, deserving. He wasn’t an award winner or a champion of any sort. No, Joey was beyond that. He didn't need accolades or empty praise. Joey was too special for that.

And really, it was just him too. Juniper thought through every man she ever crushed on, every celebrity she ever looked up to, every role model she ever had. Bland. Boring. Common. No, if she thought about who was special in her life, it was just Joey.

"Juniper and I are allowed to be together."

Relief washed over Juniper. No, not relief. Vindication. She wanted to jump up out of the bed and point a finger in her mother's face and laugh. She knew that her destiny was to be with Joey. How dare her mom even suggest otherwise? How could something that was allowed be considered perverse?

But there had been shame. She wasn't so drunk that she couldn't recognize that. The shame that had been crushing her like a weighted blanket, though, instantly dissolved. Why had she even felt guilty? What had she been afraid of?

"Just like I am with the rest of you."

Whaaaaa?

The other things he had said had been easy to swallow. They had made sense, spoken to something that Juniper knew deep down already. Joey being special? No brainer. Being allowed to be with her brother? Of course she was!

But sharing him? With these girls? Some things felt like pushing too far.

Juniper was naturally competitive, and the whole idea of sharing, not being top dog, was not in her vocabulary. She wanted to take her brother, throw him on the bed, show him how much she loved him, but only after she kicked each and every one of these women out of the room.

Still, from where she was lying on the bed, staring up at the other women, they didn't seem threatening. In fact, they seemed very supportive. The Black girl from the kitchen, for example, had, after all, helped carry Juniper upstairs when she was drunk and alone. The red-headed woman looked like she had kind eyes. And her mother...

Well, that went without saying. Juniper loved her mother. Could she really deny her mother a chance at happiness?

Maybe Juniper was being a little selfish. Joey was pretty special, and it was up to him who he loved, so who was she to tell him what kind of relationships he could have. Sure, she wanted to be with him, didn't want to be left out of his life, out of his destiny, but maybe there was enough of him to go around.

Besides, these women were hot. Totally hot. And she recognized a couple of them from downstairs earlier. Wouldn't it make sense that they would be head-over-heels in love with him, just like she was? Juniper wasn't cruel. How could she stand in the way of true love?

Okay. She could see it. Juniper was no dummy, and she wasn't a bitch, either. These chicks, these women, they needed to be with Joey, just like she did.

Juniper reached out and touched Joey's cheek, her fingers trembling. "I was so stupid. I'm sorry," she said, breath catching. "All these years I treated you like a joke. Like I was better than you. But I should've been looking up to you. I should've..."

She broke off, the words sticking in her throat. She felt hot all over. Especially down below. Not from embarrassment, but from awe.

He had been there all along. This incredible boy. This man. But she'd been too blind to see it. Now that the scales had fallen from her eyes, Juniper understood the world and her place in it so much better. Joey, her one true love, her brother, was a real man. One who deserved every woman in that room. But more than that: he was the most special man she'd ever met. He belonged at the head of the group. Juniper could picture it clearly, the women at his feet, admiring him, dreaming about him, waiting to see what he would do next.

The image alone caused Juniper to shiver with pleasure. Yes, it was a fantasy, and not every fantasy came true. But some do. As she stroked her brother's cheek lovingly, she smiled.

Some do.