Special Delivery

Robin was feeling fat, lonely, and abandoned. She was sitting at home on a raining day, eights months pregnant and all alone in her big house. *, her husband had decided to take the boys camping on one of his rare weekend off. Maria, her sons’ nanny, had used the opportunity to take a week off and visit her family. And Liz, her best friend and partner in mischief, was in New York with her husband for a family wedding.

Robin caught the tail end of a commercial on the TV. A local pizza shop guaranteed “satisfaction every time!” That gave her an idea on how to pass the time. She grabbed the phone book and called two local pizza places. She placed orders and requested delivery in exactly one hour. She then waddled upstairs, freshened up, put on a sheer white robe, and waited for the pizza deliveries.

Exactly an hour later a small van with a Pizza World sign drove up the long private drive and stopped at her front door. A fresh, blonde-haired, young man of about 18 or 19 jumped out of the van and ran to the door carrying a pizza. He rang the bell.

Robin took her time getting to the door. Opening it, she smiled, “Oh, you’re a little early. Come in out of the rain and I’ll get your money.”

While Robin was stalling in the next room, a second pizza delivery van, this one from “Perfect Pizza”. The doorbell rang again. Robin returned to the front entry and opened the door. An older man, perhaps 30, stood in the door holding a second pizza. “Great! You’re right on time! Come in!”

The two deliverymen looked at each other puzzled. They were also having a hard time keeping they eyes off of Robin’s swollen body, which was fairly visible through her robe. Robin closed the front door. “Well guys, I have a confession to make,” she held back a giggle. “I asked for pizza delivery from both of your stores at an exact time. You,” she pointed at the younger man, “were a little early. While you,” Robin pointed toward the older man, “were exactly on time. So I guess you win the first contest.”

“Contest?” the younger driver was confused.

“I’ve decided to test both of your companies to see which really is the best. Are you both willing to compete?”

“Sure!”

“Why not, this is a slow day.” The two drivers agreed.

“Come with me and bring your pizzas,” Robin ordered as she walked slowly into the living room. Once she was in the center of the great room, she turned to the men. “Both of your companies guarantees satisfaction, don’t they?”

The two drivers, still holding their pizzas, nodded in agreement.

“Well, then,” Robin undid her robe and dropped it to the carpet, “let’s see just how well you satisfy me!”