Some more fun

“Oh, by the way. Aren’t you gonna sit down for breakfast?”

“Of course, honey,” says Mom.

“Why wouldn’t we?” says Sis.

They proceed to sit down, flattening their lumps under the weight of their behinds.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” I insinuate, coming up with something on the spot.

“What, this?” my sister asks, raising an eyebrow and staring at me. At the same time, they both lift their asses, hovering just over their seats for a split second, and sit down again with a hard slam. They do this three or four times, squishing their own waste between their glutes in the process. With their asses firmly on the seat, they then grind back and forth, caking their crotches in excrement.

“Yeah, that. Thanks. Did you get any doo-doo in your na-na?” I ask her, trying to contain a giggling fit.

“Well, duh. Like always. Man, what’s with you today?” my sister replies, annoyed by her brother’s sudden amusement at something so ordinary.

“Oh, don’t mind him, sweetie. He’s just being weird today,” says Mom. “Anyway, dig in! Your egg’s getting cold.”

“Yum!” says my sister. She tugs on her waistband, lifts her plate and tilts it, dumping its contents into her pants. “So good. Thanks, Mom!”

“What did you do that for?” I ask, fully aware of her imminent answer.

“You don’t know? It’s the latest dieting trick. If you dump your food in your pants instead of eating it with your mouth, you don’t gain any weight. Have you seriously not heard of this on the internet?”

“Come on, leave John alone. Settle down and enjoy your breakfast,” says Mom, dumping the contents of her own plate inside her pants, followed by a whole glass of milk.

At this point, I’ve had my fun. I decide I want to roam the streets for some more inspiration. “Well, I’m kind of in a hurry. Gotta go, bye!”

“Bye, honey!” Mom replies. The last thing I see is my sister rolling her eyes at me, dumping an open box of cereal into her pants. I leave the house just in time before I finally crack up.