Some history, some heresy

“Yeah, that’s how the Sun works,” Professor Stump answers flatly, her staticky voice coming from the low-quality speakers on the laptop provided by the Pokemon Center.

“What!? How can you say that so confidently!?” you argue, all while sitting on your bed and brushing the knots out of Primeape’s fur. Fortunately, its fur gets so matted that your high energy rebuttal synergizes quite nicely with the amount **** you have to put into grooming. It may have evolved, but this damn monkey is just as spoiled and unruly as ever. How did this happen? Who’s the one responsible? Certainly not you.

“Did you not even learn the water cycle while you were in school? Heat evaporates water. And you shouldn’t be surprised that a pokemon which produces fire will thrive in a hotter environment.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like all water evaporates! I can drink tea outside when it’s hot and it doesn’t evaporate. And it’s not like the whole ocean can evaporate!”

Stump raises an eyebrow. “I dare you to go to Hoenn and say that.”

Despite the argument, Golduck patiently waters Vileplume, who has flattened out into a flower on the floor. That Golduck of yours is a saint, helping you keep some semblance of control over this rodeo. Meanwhile, Onix is rotating its rocks while Ninetales rolls back and forth on its tail like it’s a makeshift massage chair. Y-You really weren’t expecting your majestic Ninetales to be the type to goof around like that, but as long as it’s fully recovered, that’s what matters, right? And, like a good boy, your Dugtrio is sitting quietly beside you, stealing headpats from your idle hand when you don’t need both of them to **** the brush through Primeape’s hair. How is your groundborne starter pokemon sticking out of your bed? Heh, that’s easy.

You have no idea.

Stump continues, “Anyway, if your opponent is using Sunny Day, maybe you should try training your pokemon to fight in the heat. You’re on a tropical island, so that should be as easy as going outside. And I wouldn’t plan on using a Water pokemon like your Golduck, either.”

“Fine,” you pout. “This weather stuff still sounds more like cheating than science, but fine.”

“Well, that aside, what were you saying about taking a ferry over there? And the Gym moving?”

“Apparently, a volcano erupted and damaged the mansion they were using as a Gym. They changed it to a research lab but didn’t even take down the sign in front of the dumb, busted, abandoned mansion! How was I supposed to know it’s not the Gym anymore!?”

Stump scoffs. “Welcome to the real world. Not even adults are very good at cleaning up after themselves.” Stump must be including herself in that statement. “Still, a volcanic eruption? Crazy times. When I was there, it was a bustling tourist trap with hotels booked out for months. Hell, even with the beach being packed, it only took two minutes for me to get picked u- *ahem* hit on. I shoo’ed them away, of course. Needed to work on my tan.” Stump is not the type to work on her tan. “I guess that goes away pretty quickly when people are worried about getting covered in lava, huh? Wait…”

You hear a furious clacking away at a keyboard, with moments of low mumbling from Stump interspersed throughout. You hesitantly ask, “Professor, everything okay?”

She shortly replies, “Shh. I’m saving your life. Maybe.” After a few minutes, she lets out a sigh of relief. “Okay. The volcano’s not active.” An electric jolt runs up your spine. You didn’t even think of that! What if it erupted again while you were on the island!? That’s why no one’s here! “The details around why it erupted are a little sparse, but some girl named Blaire was made a hero out of it. I guess she took her pokemon to the volcano and stopped the eruption with minimal damage to the island.”

“Blaire? She’s the Gym Leader! She’s the one at the research lab!”

“Is she? Yeah, I guess a trainer who could stop a volcanic eruption would end up being a Gym Leader. If you want your badge, you’ll have to beat the egghead at that lab, so try to do a little more training and a little less denying the Sun’s existence.”

“Tch. Egghead?” you scoff. “More like airhead. That girl just does whatever she wants and pays no attention to what anyone else is saying.”

“Wow, if you’re the one saying that, she must really be a lost cause. Well, I’ve gotta get back to work, so try your best and stay in touch, alright? Bye.”

“Bye Professor!”

*click*

The weather matters, huh? It still sounds made up, but training can’t hurt either way.