Shut Up Tim

The ride to the started off awkwardly, but Vanessa’s well practiced charm soon put Tim at ease. She asked about his family, about his childhood. Without planning on it, Tim found himself opening up about himself to her. By the time they arrived at their destination, he was pretty sure that Vanessa had started forming a picture of who he was in her mind. And while he was still unsure as to how he wanted the evening to go, Tim hoped that the picture was positive.

The bar that Vanessa had taken them to was unlike the bars Tim had been in. There was no loud, thumping music. Nor where there bouncers at the door holding clipboards. This was the kind of bar that he had, until that evening, thought only existed in movies. Richly coloured wood walls, around a ornate wooden bar, decorated by brass features, sparsely placed tables took up the floor. Quiet jazz was being playing on the piano in the corner.

Vanessa ordered a glass of red wine, while Tim ordered a beer, which they brought to a booth in the back corner of the establishment.

“Now you know so much about me,” Tim said, “but what about you? What is it that makes you tick?”

She smiled at him and began to unfold her story for him. The struggles of being a single mother of a unique child like Nancy, the hard work of starting and running a business. So much of Vanessa’s life seemed to be framed by challenges, how she met them and overcome them. As she spoke, Tim wondered that was how she saw him, a challenge.

She told a slightly disparaging joke, causing Tim to **** on the beer he had just swallowed. Once he had regained his composure, Tim took a moment to check his makeup, then returned his attention to Vanessa. She was so incredible. Tim questioned why he was out with her. He was out of his depth.

“You’re quite the woman,” Tim said, “beautiful and successful. I’m just a student, still studying at university. What would you want with someone like me?”

The corners of her mouth turned down for a moment, a look that vanished as soon as it began.

“There’s plenty of things that I could think I’d want from someone like you,” she walked her fingers across to the table to touch Tim’s hand.

“You know what I mean,” Tim said, pulling his hand back, “you could do so much better than me. Nancy is one thing; she’s young and in school like me. But you, you’re, I don’t know, already thriving in your career. You could have any man you wanted.”

“Tim, sweetie, talking yourself down like this is a bit of a turnoff,” Vanessa said, sitting back, “you’re an attractive young man, but I’m not interested in being a cheerleader.”

“That’s not what I’m looking for,” Tim said, not realizing how badly he was screwing things up, “I’m just trying to figure out why you would go out with me. I mean, me, of all people. I get that you’re attracted to me, and I get that Nancy doesn’t get jealous, but I’m, I don’t know, below your station. I haven’t even started out yet, barely a grown-up. You’re, like, established!”

“Are you calling me old?”

Tim paused. What the hell was he doing? Why was he trying to ruin the date? Was this what people call self-sabotaging? He was his own worst enemy!

Was it too late? Had he taken it too far? Things had seemed to be going well until the last couple minutes. Maybe he could turn things around. Maybe he could still fix it. He looked up at his companion to say something that would change everything, only to find that she was frozen in time. As was the entire bar.

Which was good, because he had no idea what it was that he was going to say.