Shock, Sadness, Sudden Understanding, And Some Anger.

"Oh?!? Oooh...! My poor mixed up boy...." Your mother says, and lifts her hand as though to caress your cheek but decides against it. "I understand, and I won't mention it again, but you should see a therapist about that Oedipal Complex you are developing. I love your father more than I can say, and if you EVER imply you could replace him in my affections sexually again, you will be grounded for a year: do you understand young man?" Your mother says in the false sweet tone that you know means she's mildly pissed at you...

"Yes, Mam." You say in the traditional familial response to a rebuke from mom.

"Now, I've got some numbers of a few good therapists my firm has worked with in my Rolodex in my office, what say you we go..." Your mother says before she is cut off...

Just then there's a scream from upstairs, and the sound of something heavy hitting the floor!