Shelly gets home early.

Ayumi looked at me suspiciously saying angrily, "Mr. Calmichael. Ale you tlying to tlick me? Like you tlicked Pliya and Annie?"

"No, no Ayumi. I wouldn't dream of trying to trick you. You're much too smart for that. The director said he wants a brand new starlet for his film. Someone who is pretty and asian. He didn't want Priya because she's Indian and he wants someone more oriental. You fit the bill exactly." I replied in my most ernest and innocent voice. Then I added, "Of course, not everyone wants to be a famous movie star. If you're not interested I'll just find someone else. That shouldn't be too hard." I laid it on a bit heavy while sounding unconcerned about Ayumi's decision. As I spoke I poured another screwdriver and handed it to Ayumi.

She absent-mindedly accepted the screwdriver, glugged it down, bit into the third hash brownie and looked at me thoughtfully.

I just waited for her reply hoping that two screwdrivers and three hash brownies would elicit the right response. The booze and **** were obviously having an effect. Ayumi's eyes seemed to be dilating, her face was flushed and she was holding onto a chair to steady herself.

Slowly she replied, "You tlying tlick me." Then she added hesitatingly, "Do you leally think I good for palt?" She took a sip of a third screwdriver.

"Yes Ayumi. I think you're perfect for the part. Tell you what. Just sign this contract and we can start on the pre-audition right now." I handed her a contract form that I had designed the week before in the hopes of finding another aspiring actress. Of course the contract simply gave me all rights in return for a $25 Walmart gift card.

Ayumi looked at the paper. Obviously she didn't understand anything it said; I had written it in very obscure legalese. I pointed at the dotted line. She looked at it. She looked at me. She bit her lip. She signed. Then she said, "No sex. And don't tly to tlick me into taking my clothes off." Her voice had become a bit slurry. Booze and ****. Works every time.

Just then the front door opened. My wife, Shelly, flounced in announcing, "Worked finished early. I'm horny. You better be horny too." She stopped and stared at Ayumi saying, "Who the hell is this floozy?"

"Shelly," I said, "This is Ayumi. She's a friend of Priya and Annie. Remember them? Ayumi just agreed to do a pre-audition. She has one condition though; no sex. What do you think?" I gave Shelly a slow, sly wink.

I explained to Ayumi that Shelly was my assistant for some pre-auditions.

Shelly grinned broadly, looked Ayumi slowly up and down, licked her lips and said, "Your name is Ayumi? That's a pretty name, just like you. Yes, I work with Mr. Carmichael and I'm sure you will do very well. Let's sit down and get acquainted." Shelly returned my wink as she put an arm around Ayumi's slender waist and guided her to the sofa. I noticed her hand seemed to slide lower to Ayumi's soft hip.

They sat at the sofa chatting. Shelly asked Ayumi various silly questions to set her at her ease. Ayumi's responses kept getting more and more confused. Yessir. Booze and ****, can't beat'em.