She thinks she has the answer

Somehow starting with almost no knowledge of BDSM, I googled all night and then I felt like I knew even less. There was were just so many possibilities. I opened the box with her gear hoping that it would limit what I could do and make what I could do a little more obvious.

It didn’t exactly help because she had a lot of accessories. There was the butt plug, nipple clamps, collar, and thigh bindings that I already knew about. Then there were handcuffs, more butt plugs, a ball gag, a giant hook with a ball at the end of it, several different kinds of vibrators and dildos, some rope that was very soft, a leash, ankle and wrist cuffs, sharpies (for writing?), rubber gloves, lots of lube, and a paddle. Last there was this wand looking thing, I pressed a button on it and nothing happened, so then I tried pressing it against my skin, it shocked me, and it hurt like a bitch. Was that a taser? What was this girl’s pain tolerance? That didn’t seem fun at all.

I had to remember that this was still my best friend and that everyone hides pieces of themselves from everyone, but this all seemed so ****. I also had to consider that when ever I started to judge, it means that she may have been right to not trust me with it in the first place. I needed to earn my new title and show I can handle it.

I also had to ask myself certain questions like whether I felt comfortable touching her and where. I wanted to put a toy between us, like using the paddle to spank her but not my barehand. However, I also needed to think more of what would satisfy her, not what would make me feel more comfortable. Did she expect me to physically get her off or was she supposed to do that herself? Did I expect her to touch me? Was that part of the degradation?

Ugh, this is so weird. I decided to try to google again and see more specific role play scenarios. I found a few for beginners and then one actually matched up well with my Halloween costume from last year. I kept looking into possible ‘scenes’ (I guess that’s what they’re called) related to that type of scenario, trying to find what she would want most and putting my comfort completely aside. I began to smile as I thought I finally came up with my perfect plan.

Shit, it’s 2 A.M. time for bed. I imagined what I had in store and instead of worrying it wasn’t enough, I began to wonder if it might be too much.