She takes her time to decide

Lois lies there on the bed, checking out the alternatives, as her gaze moves between you in your bathrobe and the mighty god that is Superman.

“I suppose both of you is out of the question?”

“I can’t share you, Lois,” you say, while the anatomically-incorrect Superman seems to be considering it, looking you up and down, no doubt undressing you with his X-ray vision and inwardly feeling superior with the results.

Lois’s gaze finally settles on the Man of Steel. “Superman, please be a doll and fix the wall and ceiling while I try and decide.”

“Sure thing, Lois,” he says. and zooms out of the bedroom.

“He seems more adept at breaking houses than mending them,” you say to Lois.

“He’s a quick study,” she replies, getting out of bed and standing next to you, the sight of her naked tanned body still taking your breath away. She brushes your cheek with her hand. “Besides, I wanted to say some things to you, alone, not that he won’t overhear them.”

You look into her violet eyes, smell her sweet scent, and all you want to do is kiss her.

“Dear John,” she begins, and that’s not the way you wanted it to start. Your stomach feels queasy and you try not to cry. She tries too, but fails. “You’ve been so good to me, and I’ve just maxed out your credit card, and gone and created a love triangle between you. me and Superman.” She turns her head away from you, so close yet so distant. “You deserve better, John, you deserve someone without fictional baggage, but I can’t give you that, and I think you understand that."

You starts to answer, but then you realise Superman’s just appeared in the room.

“That’s the bathroom sorted, and I left some crushed coal in there to pay for any psychological help you’ll need when Lois leaves you. Not that she necessarily will, of course, it’s totally her decision,” he looks down at his all-too-obvious erection, "and such a hard one.”

As both you and Lois stare daggers at him, he realises he’s not helping the situation and tries to make amends. “If it makes it any easier, we could fight over you, or maybe have a studliness lovemaking contest with you?”

“Thanks for the ideas, Clark, but I think I might have made my decision,” she tells him. “Now sort out this ceiling while we adjourn to the bathroom to admire your work.”

“Sure thing, Lois,” he says as you make your way out. “Great boobs by the way.”

You soon reach the bathroom and smell the smell of fresh paint; the heap of freshly-pressed diamonds is also more than welcome though it’s scarcely a consolation prize if he ends up leaving with Lois. “Impressive job,” you say, more eager to indulge in small talk than have your heart broken.

“He’s an impressive guy,” she says, “but I guess it’s true what they say, you can’t go home.”

“You can’t.”

“He’s not the same Superman I knew. The Superman I knew seemed unobtainable, and maybe that was part of the magic, wanting something I could never have. I never got to know him fully, but I know this robo-Superman isn’t him, just some crazy fantasy.”

“Fantasies can be good,” you say, looking at yours.

“He’s just an appliance I bought online, just before I read that Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex article. It never would have worked out between us. He was just me in denial, trying to recreate a world that never was. Like I said, you deserve better, and I can’t promise anything but I’ll try and be better. I’ve a new Superman in my life now, time for a new beginning.” She hugs you tight, and then breaks the hug to remove your bathrobe.

“What about the other Superman?” you ask, in between passionate kisses, your mouth exploring down her succulent body.

“I’ll order him a robo-slut Lois Lane of his own, that way when we’re bored we can swap places and you’ll be none the wiser.”

You lift your mouth from her nipple, and look at her questioningly.

“Relax, John, there are plenty of other robo-sluts he’ll settle for. There’s Lana, or his cousin Kara, and we didn’t call my sister Luce for nothing. Though with his weird deviancies maybe we should go for Lashina or Stompa.”

“Don’t worry about me,” says Superman, now standing there. “I’m happy just to watch you two.”

“Okay, but do it from a distance,” you say, turning your head away from Lois’s luscious labia to do so.

And with that. the Man of Steel flies towards the bathroom wall, and then stops at the last minute.

“Only kidding, I’m not an idiot,” he says. “Front door this time, and by the way, the bedroom’s ready. If you ever need a threesome just whisper my name.”

And with that, he super-speeds away, leaving you and Lois alone once again.