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Chapter 9

What's the problem?

She doesn't have it

"See, Q and I were at one of Dionysus' parties the other night." Bee explained, "We kinda hit the ambrosia wine a little too hard and had to leave early. It was only this morning when I found out that my amulet wasn't in my pocket anymore..."

"Oh, Beelzebub!" Lucy whined.

"I know, I know! It was completely irresponsible of me." Bee said. "I know I never took it out of my pocket, so I ain't sure if it's still at his place or if someone else grabbed it. I was just about to go out to his party tonight after we were done with the commercial."

"And where does Dionysus live around here?" Kyle asked. "Because, in order to get Lucy's powers back, we need to go to him."

"Hang on, Sug. I got the address somewhere around here."


"Steady now..." Roxie said to herself as she laid down on the roof, aiming her rifle at Lucy's head as she looked through the scope. "Just stand there and be a nice little target..."

"Take the shot already!" Grant snapped. "She's standing still this time!"

"You can't rush these things, Pal!" Roxie growled as she steadied the sniper rifle. "I only have one shot here, and I don't -"

"Just give me that!" Grant yelled as he grabbed the rifle and yanked it out of Roxie's grip. Taking aim, he snapped, "I'm not letting The Devil get away again!"

"Give me that!" Roxie yelled, jumping to her feet and grabbing a hold of the rifle. "You have no idea how to fire that thing!"

"It's a gun! How hard can it be?!" Grant challenged, engaging in tug of war with his rival. "Now let go!"

"This isn't like a freaking shotgun, you idiot!" Roxie spat, "And you let go!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"


"So, Buddy?" Hailey asked as she sat on the hood of said man's truck. "Why do you let Roxie push you around and insult you like that?"

"Well, gosh, Ms. Hailey. I was gonna ask the same ta you." Buddy drawled. "You're as smart as ya'll are pretty. That there Grant don't know what he's talking about!"

"Thanks, but I know I'm not that smart." Hailey said with a laugh, blushing slightly at having been called pretty by the chubby hillbilly. "Hell! I had to repeat kindergarten when I was a kid."

"Whatcha do? Flunk naptime?" Buddy asked playfully.

Hailey laughed at the joke before sighing, her expression souring. "But that bitch doesn't need to keep calling you fat and stupid!"

"Shoot! I admit I'm not the sharpest knife." Buddy said with a laugh, "Plus, I am bigger than the family cow. Every gal I met can agree."

"Well, those bitches were either braindead or blind not to see the most handsome man on the planet!"

"... Huh?"

"Er... I, uh -"

*BANG!*

Hailey yelped as she jumped into Buddy's arms, wrapping her arms around the man's neck as Buddy held her bridal style.


"Ha! Here we -" Bee began before a bullet crashed through her window and shot her hat right off her head, both landing into the fire. "Sweet jumpin' crawdads! What the hell was that?!"

"The demon hunters!" Lucy shouted. "How do they keep tracking me down?!"

"Here!" Bee said to Kyle, shoving the address into his hand. "You and Luce get goin' out the back door! I'll handle those varmints!"

"Are you sure, Bee?" Kyle asked.

"You two need my amulet to get Lucy's powers back." Bee replied, "Plus," she narrowed her eyes, "that hat was a birthday present from Q. Tell them Beelzebub sent you..."

"Thanks, Bee! I promise, we'll make it up to you!" Lucy said as she and Kyle raced out the back.

Beelzebub looked out the window with a snarl, closing her eyes as an angry buzzing sound was heard...


"Now look what you've done!" Roxie snapped, throwing the rifle to the ground.

"What I've done?! Your finger was on the trigger!" Grant snapped back.

"That bullet was the only thing that would have killed The Devil without question!"

"Well just ask The Leader to give you another one!"

"Oh yeah! That'll be a good one!" Roxie said sarcastically. She then mimed pulling out her phone and talking into it. "Hi, Mr. Alexanders? This is Roxie Sinclair. I was wondering if you had another of those only one of it's kind demon lord slaying bullets laying around. What happened to the one you gave me? Well, some nameless idiot, Grant Rodgers, grabbed my sniper rifle and -"

"Oh, if I'm the idiot, then why didn't you use that bullet before the crossbow?!" Grant challenged, growling in frustration as he pulled at his hair. "You're making me so mad my ears are buzzing!"

"... Wait, I hear that buzzing, too." Roxie commented.

Both confused, Roxie and Grant turned to their left and went wide eyed at a large fly twice the size of Buddy hovering in front of them, both segmented eyes glaring angrily at them.

"... Uh, are you seeing a giant fly, too?" Grant asked nervously as Roxie nodded. The man then pulled his pistol out of his holster and took aim...

Just as the fly spat a green substance from it's proboscis, dissolving the gun on contact.

"Run?" Grant asked.

"Run!" Roxie squeaked.

The two yelled as they ran for the fire escape, dodging a few more shots of Beelzebub's acid spit. Unbeknownst to Roxie, however, a shot managed to hit the seat of her pants, slowly melting her away her jeans and exposing her Barney the Dinosaur panties. Beelzebub looked over her shoulder to see that Lucy and Kyle had got away safely, smirking as she flew away while watching Grant and Roxie climb down the fire escape.

Landing behind her cabin, Bee transformed back into her human form, standing completely naked as she bent over to grab the key under the mat.

"Buenas noches, mi pequeño bichito del amor."

Bee shot up, key in hand, as she looked over her shoulder to see a large snake with feathered wings slither up next to her before transforming into a naked, muscular hispanic man.

"Shoot, Q! Don't sneak up on a gal like that!" Bee said with a laugh. Looking her boyfriend over, The Great Fly gave a seductive smile as she asked, "Bedroom or couch tonight, Darlin'?"

"Whichever you prefer, my love." Q said as he scooped Bee up into his arms, holding her bridal style as Bee reached out to unlock the door.


"There it is!" Lucy exclaimed as she and Kyle hid behind a bush in front of a winery, loud music blasting from within as several people waited outside. "That's Dionysus' place!"

"Okay, this party may be wild, but there's no way we're getting in without clothes!" Kyle said, "Even if some of the people arriving are wearing very little of - Wait. Is this a costume party?!"

"Hmm, must have gone with a theme this time." Lucy commented, bringing a hand to her chin. "However, you're right. We aren't getting in without a costume."

Kyle looked around when his eyes laid on a couple of streamers hanging from a fig tree, the wheels in his head turning. "Hey, is the whole Garden of Eden thing a sensitive subject?"

"First of all, that was Satan who disguised herself as a snake and tricked Eve into eating the apple; not me. And Satie hates what her favorite of Dad's creations had to go through because of it." Lucy replied, "Secondly, why?"


"Next!" The Bouncer yelled as he let a woman dressed as a harlequin and a man dressed like a pirate inside the winery. Looking up, he raised an eyebrow at the sight of Kyle and Lucy standing in front of him... Both with streamers tied around their waists with fig leaves covering Kyle's junk and Lucy's womanhood, Lucy's hair covering her breasts.

"Adam and Eve." Kyle explained with a sheepish grin, "Beelzebub sent us."

The Bouncer blinked... Before shrugging and letting the two in. "Next!"

"Okay," Kyle said as he and Lucy entered the building, "we just need to find Dionysus and ask if he's seen Bee's amulet. Now, what does he -"

"Lucy!" An overweight man in a toga exclaimed as he stepped forward, swinging his wine glass from side to side. "Girl! I knew that your friends would talk you into coming to my parties one of these nights! Love the costumes, by the way! A little on the nose though, no?"

"Again, that was Satan in The Garden. Not me." Lucy corrected.

"And isn't the toga a little on the nose, Mr. Greek God?" Kyle asked.

"Oh, a feisty one!" Dionysus replied with a laugh, playfully slapping Kyle on the back. "Careful, buddy. You know the story of Midas, don't you? I can give you what I gave him."

"Starving me by giving me the ability to turn things into gold?"

"Goodness no! I meant giving you the ears of an ass!"

"Look, Dionysus -"

"Please, Lucy! Call me Dion."

"Dion..." Lucy said with a sigh, "Bee lost something here last night that I really need. Do you have a lost and found or something?"

"Oh, sure! Aergia is running it on the other side of the winery. You remember her, right? The one who has a crush on your lazy friend?" Dion replied, "Anyway, you can go grab it while your little boy toy enjoys the party!"

"R-right..." Lucy replied with a blush as she began to walk away.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Kyle asked, "There's hundreds of people here. Many of them probably gods and goddesses!"

"Don't worry, I'll be right back!" Lucy assured. "Just wait here and relax for a bit. Oh, and stay away from the ambrosia. That's not for mortal consumption."

And with that, Lucy headed off to where Dion pointed out the lost and found, leaving Kyle standing there. Kyle bushed as he saw a few women smile and giggle at him, remembering that he was only wearing a fig leaf.

"Nice outfit, handsome."

Kyle turned around to see a beautiful woman sashay up to him, the woman dressed in a toga as she brushed her long red hair out of her face. "How about you and I get out of here and get to know each other?"

"... I'm sorry, who are you?" Kyle asked.

"Oh, where are my manners?" The woman said with a laugh, sticking out her hand. "I'm Circe."

How does Kyle respond to this? Is Bee's amulet there? Do the demon hunters catch up?

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