She asks for the soap

"Oh my god! that was funny. You should have seen your face... alright pass me some soap. I'm covered in man piss." she says while trying to push down the laughter.

"I swear you are the weirdest roommate I've ever had," you say while passing the soap and trying not to laugh anymore.

"Yeah, but you know you love me," she says in a mocking tone as she applies the soap to her hands.

"Mmmmhmmm..." you retort.

"Of course you do. Everyone loves me. I'm America's sweetheart with a two-foot dong!" She says back with mock overconfidence.

"Two foot? Bull shit. You're big, but not that big." you reply.

"And how would you know? you've never seen me hard." she throws back.

"What? I've seen you hard like a million times. It's literally your job to be seen hard, and your nightly ritual happens on our couch." You shoot back quickly.

"Alright fine... not two feet." She replies in a tone of false sadness and defeat.

"Speaking of dick sizes, how big are you?" she asks innocently.