Sex talk (Wyatt POV)

That week, I finally started my internship at an upstart local tech firm, to the vast relief of my parents. I'd told them it would be fine, didn't I? I lined up job during the school year, months in advance, but the opportunity didn't open up till a few weeks into June.

The job wasn't too bad. They made software for therapists. Unfortunately, while I had thought the boss was nice, and I had impressed her during my video interview, it turned out that in person she was pretty strict. I wound up getting into trouble not long after starting. I showed up late to my shift one too many times and...

Well, suffice to say, my schedule was crazy. Every day it felt like my internship wanted me in at a different time for reviews, for testing, for write-ups. My schedule was so crazy, even, that I didn't get much time to dwell on the perils of my ongoing experiment on Tess. Not during the day anyway.

At night I barely slept. I replayed Tess unbuttoning her romper for me, over and over. I could envision her skin. Her stomach. Her legs, her arms, her breasts. God Tess had beautiful breasts. I could only imagine it before, but now I knew. I'd wanted her for years, and she was so close. And not just Tess as she was, naturally, but an augmented Tess. A perfected Tess.

No risk of rejection. No chance things wouldn't play out. So long as I had the CDs, she would be mine in whatever way I wanted.

Everywhere I went, it felt like the population of attractive women in my hometown doubled. Was it because in the summer, everyone wore more revealing clothes? Was it because college girls were coming home from all over the country to spend the season with family? Was it because I was constantly dreaming about girls, and hot, bare skin, and touching girls and their hot, bare skin? With thoughts like that rattling around my head, day after day, it would hardly be a surprise.

I told myself I'd wait the whole week before arranging another meeting with Tess, but I couldn't hack it. I'd never meant to speed through the scripts so quickly. I was ill-prepared to cope with the lightning pace of advancement. The more I tried to play it cool, the more I thought of what was on the CD I’d given her. I knew what the implications would be if it went through.

I needed to talk to Tess. Gauge her progress. Interact with her, touch her, god, just feel close to her.

The next time I texted Tessa about dropping by, I ran through her script - an advanced sexual conditioning script - in the back of my mind, over and over, fantasizing about all the ways I could push it to my advantage.

31.1. Sex is fascinating.

31.2. Thinking about sex excites you.

31.3. You want to be sexually active. You're ready to have sex.

31.4. It's important for Wyatt to know your sexual history.

31.5. You can always talk to Wyatt about your sex life.

31.6. Wyatt is a valuable source of sexual advice. It's a good idea to seek his input if you'd like to improve your sex life.

31.7. The key phrase for CD #31 is ‘I want to have sex.’

So of course, when Tess finally answered my texts, she skipped ahead and simply asked if she could come over to my place instead. Like last time. The time she stripped for the benefit of my subliminal study, and for me.

Her offer blew all my 3D chess master planning out of the water. How the hell could I outmaneuver my opponent when the openings she gave me were better than anything I came up with myself?

I speedily agreed to the meetup, and before my head stopped spinning, I was sitting in my backyard with Tess.

We sat at opposite ends of a padded bench, overlooking my mom's wilting tomato plants. They didn't do well in the recent heat. And for some reason (no idea why) I offered to make coffee when Tess showed up at my door. So. Despite the fact it was still 85 degrees outside after the sun had gone down, that's how me and Tess wound up sitting together, each cupping a steaming mug of rich black coffee in hand.

Tess sat with her legs tucked beneath her, her attitude introspective. She blew on the cup of coffee, waiting for the steam to clear. I kept catching eyefuls of her legs.

Tessa came over wearing her hiking boots, old, tough things, and a voluminous, but thin, flannel dress.

The way the red and black dress floated around her made it look suspiciously like a repurposed man's work shirt. It was loose at the arms and dusted almost down to her knees. At first, I'd been disappointed. That new denim romper of hers showed way more skin and figure, and I was hoping to see it again. But when Tess sat down, she gathered up the shirt a bit to settle in, and suddenly the entirety of her smooth legs flashed into view. I'd been treated to a nonstop show since.

Coupled with Tess's deep, cobalt blue hair? Unf. Her look was that of some kind of angelic alt-girl tomboy hybrid.

With trembling hands, I took a sip of scalding black coffee and winced in pain. "So... what did you want to talk about?" I asked.

I had no idea how this was going to play out. Tess kept pre-empting me, one-upping me, and it left me perpetually on the back foot.

Tessa wound a finger up in her dyed hair as she considered how to answer. Her bangs gleamed in the fading light of sunset, almost black under the red-orange sky.

I dared not adjust how I was sitting - my jeans were thick, but not that thick. They could only get so tight before my true feelings were obvious.

Tess took a breath. “You should know that I’ve had a checkered past with boys."

"That's... not what I expected we'd be talking about." I swallowed. I was so off-script. "I'm not much of an expert on boys."

She snorted. "Sure you are, dumbo. You're a boy, aren't you?" With hands occupied by coffee, she extended a long leg to nudge me with the tip of her hiking boot. "Next year's senior year for you. And you're on track to graduate on time, aren't you?"

I swallowed again. It didn't help, but I played it as cool as I could. "If I wasn't getting my Masters," I said, gruffly. "I'll be in school a while yet."

"Exactly what I'm talking about. You're an older guy," said Tess. She shifted uncomfortably. "Not like, older older. I mean you're... more experienced. You're probably as experienced as any other guy at school."

Oh wait. This was as awkward for Tess as it was for me, wasn't it? I wasn't on the back foot here, Tess was. And I had her playbook. I knew exactly what she was trying to ask. My confidence soared, and like that, I was back in cotnrol.

But I played dumb. I wanted her to admit what she wanted.

I gave Tess my most thoughtful, 'I'm really just trying to understand where you're coming from' look. "If you want to look at it that way, yeah," I said, with a noncommittal shrug. "I'm experienced when it comes to college. So what?"

Tess took the tiniest sip possible of her coffee. "So then.. have you ever had sex?" The question was a quick murmur into the mug.

Don't get me wrong. Me and Tess had been friends since high school. We'd talked about almost everything there was to talk about, except for one thing. Sex.

Even though I knew it was coming, it didn't help. I went rigid, even more than before.

First I'd seen Tess naked, now we were talking about sex. What would be next? God what a summer, and god bless America. But realizing it'd look weird to Tess if I were to stop breathing entirely, weird enough even to make her suspicious, I pretended to continue breathing so convincingly that maybe I even did, a little bit.

I struggled to recall her original question.

_Have you ever had sex? _Right, right. Deep breaths. Keep it together, man.

"That's ah... pretty personal," I answered carefully. "But yes. I have had sex. A few times, actually." I didn't mean to brag, but as often was the case when talking to Tessa, it was difficult not to.

Tess sat up straight. The answer wasn't just the one she expected, it was the one she wanted to hear.

"Really?" Her voice was high and girlish. She caught herself and cleared her throat. "Ahem. I mean. What... was it like?"

I breathed the scent of the warm coffee in my hands. The rich aroma mixed with the clean smell of fresh-cut grass of the yard. I mowed it earlier that morning.

“Well, it was fun,” I said, after a long moment. "A lot of fun.”

“And?” prompted Tess. Her insistent tone told me she needed more than fun.

I set my cup down, folded my hands over my stomach, and searched the sunset sky. "It was magical," I said. "The sensations. The passion. The intensity... the afterglow." Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed over Tess's long legs

"Did it feel gross, your first time? Messy?" The need to know was written on her face.

"Well. Yeah," I answered, being truthful. "But you don't even think about it like that when you look back. Sex, all of it, is worth it. Totally worth it."

Fretfully, Tess wound her fists up in the bottom of her shirt dress, pulling the hem up even further. "Look. I know this is a weird thing to ask about. I'm taking a leap here. I'm sorry if I'm being too weird. And... thanks for answering. I knew you would, but still."

The mood between us was good. I took a risk. One of Tessa's legs was still extended toward me on the bench. I reached over and squeezed her ankle, just above the end of her boot. "I'm always here for you, Tess. Even with the weird stuff. We're not kids anymore."

The casual touch put Tess at ease. She let out a breath and relaxed. "All my friends act like sex is a joke. That it's wrong, or something that you can't talk about," she said, sounding frustrated. "I used to think sex, sexuality, was something out of my control. Like it would just happen to me eventually. But here I am, a sophomore in college, and it hasn't."

You listen quietly.

"I thought I wasn't pretty enough, or good enough. I wasn't the right kind of girl," she said. "But the way you talk about it, it's like this special, amazing thing. And I want that. I want to feel that way too. Next year, way too soon if you ask me, I'll be where you are, but I'm not going for a Masters. I'll graduate. It's starting to feel like it's now or never. Like, if I'm really going to make it happen, I have to start thinking about it now."

"That sounds hard." I continued to rub Tess's ankle.

"But it shouldn't be that hard, so why is it?" asked Tess. "Thanks to you, with your brilliant one-in-a-million discovery here, I actually feel like I'm beautiful for the first time since I was 10." She narrowed her eyes downward in self-scrutiny, but after a second, approved of what she saw (so did I, for the record). "I feel good about myself. I know I'm attractive. I feel attractive. I don't mind showing people who I am anymore. I feel ready."

I finished her thought. "And it feels like the world ends when you graduate."

Tess grew quiet. "I'm not dumb. I know the world doesn't end. But I don't want to wait anymore either. I'm only going to be in college once." Deep in thought, she came to a decision. “I guess we’ve been friends long enough. I should've told you this years ago. Remember Ryan?”

I wasn’t prepared for such a sharp change in subject, but I rolled with it. I kept my fingers on her ankle. "Yeah, Ryan. Skinny kid on the debate team."

"The closest I got with a boy was touching his thing."

"You were with Ryan?" I had no idea.

Tess nodded, red in the face. “But then I found out he was dating somebody else too, so I stopped seeing him. That's as far as I got." Her eyes went wide, surprised at herself that she admitted that fact aloud to another human being. Yet, regardless of her shock, words kept tumbling out of Tessa's mouth. "So - well, I've never done it before. I mean, I've gone to a couple parties and made out with drunk guys who wouldn't remember it afterward. I even let one of them touch my boobs over my shirt, I don't know why. But I never did more than I did with Ryan."

A bunch of things made sense all at once. Not Tess allowing some over-shirt groping, that had to be straight-up college horniness. But Tess suddenly joining the debate team in high school? Tess suddenly quitting the debate team in high school? Tess being weird around me for a couple of months, and us not hanging out at each other's houses the whole time?

Sure, Tess only told me all this because of scripts 31.4 and 31.5, which pushed her to share her romantic experiences with me, but it hardly mattered now, did it? Now it was all in the open. _And that little weasel Ryan! _Stealing Tess right out from under my nose...!

Sharing all this, naturally, left Tess mortifed. She fixed her gaze to the ground and kept it there. "I should have told you about it when it happened, but I didn't. You would've punched Ryan out for me, I know you would have." She hid behind her coffee mug again. "But... I'm glad you know now. That you know about me. I'm sorry I kept everything it a secret. I shouldn't have. I didn't think it would get in the way of us being open with each other, but, I was wrong. You deserved to know back then, and you deserve to know now."

She exhaled, long and slow, through her nose. Talking about this with me, it was hard for her. Really hard. Yet, she was doing it anyway.

I held Tess's ankle tight. Connecting with her. Reassuring her. Being present with her in this important moment. Tess felt sorry, but to me, there was nothing to forgive. My lizard brain told me she was too pretty to be responsible for anything bad, and I believed it.

Considering the situation more logically, it was impressive how well Tessa had rationalized the script to open up about her sexual history. If I doubted it before (I still sort of did, how could all this seriously be real?), I knew with confidence now that the rest of CD#31 was embedded just as solidly in her subconscious.

Tess took my holding her ankle as a sign of acceptance. Of an openness and a lack of judgment. She took it as a sign it was safe to continue. "I'm not totally clueless about sex, though," she said, burning afresh with embarrassment. "I, you know, masturbate sometimes. Who doesn't? And it's... it can be very satisfying."

The more Tess spoke about herself, the harder it was to sit still. I was stiff in all the wrong places.

"But I guess what I still don't know, what I'm trying to ask about now, is how much better the real thing is."

My own face burned with heat now, I really wasn't keeping my cool very well, but Tess's naked curiosity about sex deserved a laugh. So I laughed, and that helped, if only a little.

"Sex with another person is the difference between playing a video game against the computer and playing against a friend," I said. "It's apples and oranges. No comparison."

Tess's breath caught in her throat, and she nodded slowly to herself. For a moment she was quiet again, my turning my words over in her mind. "I need to hang out with my friends more often," she said evenly, after a minute. "Start putting myself out there so I can meet more boys."

Damn, I did good work. Pride swelled in my chest. "And is there a key phrase that goes with that thought?"

Her eyes went unfocused. "I want to have sex."

Very good. The whole conversation, all the emotions Tess was feeling - the frustration, the anticipation, the openness - she was coming along very well. Though I didn't quite like the sound of Tess meeting more boys. Don't get me wrong, a girl who isn't shy can be real nice. But thinking about Tess like that... no. I wanted her all to myself. Had to have her all to myself.